


The brighter sun and the easier lays

by valesweetdreams



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alpha Brian May, Alpha Freddie Mercury, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Established Relationship, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mating Bond, Maylor - Freeform, Mentions of miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega John Deacon, Omega Roger Taylor (Queen), Sexual Content, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 69
Words: 94,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23728000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valesweetdreams/pseuds/valesweetdreams
Summary: Roger's life was not easy being an omega studying in a big city with no money, but his life changed when he got a job and met Brian, an alpha that promised him the world. After almost five years together, the couple have to face a long distance relationship in order to Brian finish his PhD. It is their dream and they both agree to do this. But are they really ready to be apart from each other for a whole year?
Relationships: Brian May/Roger Taylor, Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury, John Deacon/Veronica Tetzlaff
Comments: 327
Kudos: 218





	1. Chapter I

All the coherent thoughts started leaving his mind the moment he started feeling that familiar heat. He wasn’t thinking that he won’t have what he is about to receive for many months, he can’t think about it right now.

The burning sensation, he hates it. It makes him remember of dark times, when he was younger, and he had no idea what was happening to him, his parents never bothered explaining to him what he needed to do to make it stop. Until one day, at school, a female alpha, that was his friend, offered to help. He accepted, it worked, but it was awful, he hated every second of it, and he swore that he would never let an alpha touch him again.

He was doing fine by himself, after he learned, but it changed when he moved to London, to study. His father didn’t approve, he said he was supposed to be at home doing what he was made to do, but he fought and found himself without money in a big city. His sister helped him sending some money without their father knowing, but it was only enough to pay for a place to stay. For some time he thought he would have to give up and return home, or worse… but then he met a man that changed his life forever.

He was searching for a job, anything, and when he found that an alpha was looking for an omega to work with him in a clothing stall, he didn’t hesitate. He was everything the ad wanted, extravagante and good looking. It was perfect. When he arrived there, he met the owner, Freddie, he explained everything about the job and it was fine, he was in. By itself it would change his life, he got a job where his coworker would never sexual arrest him. “Don’t worry, I’m gay, darling”, Freddie reassured him. And the money he would make is going to be enough to pay for his rent and at the same time to buy food. 

But then he met another alpha, Freddie’s friend. He is tall, long hair with defined curls, his clothes, definitely not from his friend’s stall, could be weird in somebody else, but for him they fit perfectly, Roger thought. His eyes are the most beautiful he ever saw and he swears that the hint of sadness that were in there was gone the moment they met his. He was in love in a way he never thought was possible, fall in love with someone at first sight. And when he talked to him for the first time, it was like heaven.

It is this same soft voice that takes him out of his mind. His Brian is, in the present, on top of him and Roger forces his mind to focus on the good feeling, forget about what he passed when he was younger and just enjoy this moment with this man he loves so much.

It’s been four years since that day, four years that they are together, four years that he broke that promise to never let an alpha touch him and made another one, to be only Brian’s.

Now he knows that the burning sensation will soon go away. After some minutes, his thoughts are dominated by only one: having Brian taking him all the way possible. His body knows to whom it belongs, it craves for the bonding, he begs Brian to bit him and make him definitely his. But they can’t not right now. One more year, and then they will be completely together.

Despite being all wet and open naturally, Brian always takes his time to prepare his omega. His own thoughts are dominated by the will to just fuck him, but he wants to make every heat special, and the preparation is as important as the act itself. He only stops scissoring his three fingers when he can’t hear anymore coherent words from Roger and he is only begging. 

He takes his time entering Roger, he doesn’t want to hurt him, but when he is all in, it is the best feeling in the world. Right now he is not thinking about the months he will be away, about the things he is leaving behind to follow a dream. He has to fight the urge to give in to Rog’s begging of bonding, he really really wants it, but he can’t right now, because he knows if they are finally a bonded couple he will never have the courage to leave him alone for a day, imagine a year.

But he gives in to the sensation, it is to freeing to fuck his omega with no worries, knowing that he trusts you and you trust him. They are moaning each other’s name as Brian speeds up, almost reaching his orgasm. After a few more thrusts they come together, Roger untouched. His knot swallowing and trapping them together. It is their favorite moment, they can cuddle after a rough sex, their mind already clearing.

Normally Roger doesn’t say a word, he just purrs when Brian is caressing his hair. But this time is different, this time they know this is the last time in months that they will do this, that they will be this intimate with each other. And both of them want to cry, because as at the same time they know how important this is, fuck, Brian is about to become a doctor, it is his dream, to finish his PhD, and finally he will have the opportunity, they are both happy this will happen, but they are also sad that it is so far away. But they made this decision together and nothing will change their minds, they can make it work, their love is strong enough. And the promise of what will come after this is what makes both of them willing to make this sacrifice.

“I promise I will think about you every minute, every day, I will call and if you need me, I will be here without thinking.” He kisses his boyfriend, wishing to stay like this forever.

He doesn’t expect Roger to answer, but he does, with his eyes closed. “I will think about you all the time, too. But I want you to finish this, this is what I need, if I know you are buried in a book or with a neck pain from looking at the stars in a countryside in Italy, then I’m happy.”

“If you are happy I’m happy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what do you think? (nervous laugh...)


	2. Chapter II

They knew this day would come, they had prepared for it and talked a lot. Brian is one that not always expresses what he is feeling and get trapped a lot inside his mind, that's why Roger always makes sure they are communicating. The blond is afraid that Brian may get depressed there all alone, but he trusts that the work will keep him busy and their daily calls will make it work.

But it is not easy.

Roger woke up early, earlier than he always does. He wants to enjoy his boyfriend to the maximum before he leaves, his flight is booked to the evening, so they have the entire day. Six AM and usually they are both sleeping, but this time Brian is not in the bed. Roger gets up, a little sleepy still and goes to the house to search for him.

He is in the kitchen, with a cup of coffee. He is writing something and stops when he sees that Roger is there.

“Morning, baby, slept well?” He asked, getting up to kiss the blond.

“Yeah, could sleep more, but I want to enjoy you while I can” He says, kissing him again. He wraps his arms in Brian’s neck, lowering him. It is a thing he always does, he loves their height difference, he can always come up with new things to try and kiss him in weird occasions.

Brian tastes coffee and he can feel that this is not his first cup. “Did  _ you _ sleep at all?”

This time the alpha grabs Roger and takes him to the chair, he sits with him straddling his lap, the table supporting his back.

“No, I couldn’t, I’m sorry”

“It’s ok, but I felt you on the bed the whole night, what was happening?”

Roger remembers the warmth that he only gets when he sleeps with Brian spooning him. He knows he will miss it and his nights will be colder, he hates the cold and he doesn’t want to think that the winter will come while he is alone in their bed. 

“I was watching you sleep. God, I will miss you so much, Rog” He caresses Roger’s cheeks and the omega leans to the touch. He will miss it too, the touches, the little kisses, the breakfast together, the ride to the stall, the afternoons at the coffee shop nearby the university, the going home together, the love they make before sleeping, the cuddle during the night. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Brian asks after some minutes of silence, they just looking at each other’s eyes.

“No, I might get used to make my own coffee” He answers, winking. 

Brian suddenly becomes nervous while watching Roger getting up from his lap and going to the cupboard. He planned it during the night, but now he is not sure anymore if it is a good idea. What if Roger doesn’t like it? Or think it is too early?

“Baby, what is it?” He is holding the case that Brian put inside the pot of the coffee. He takes a deep breath and continues with his plan.

“Just open.” Roger still looks unsure. “Trust me.”

And he did. He was speechless for a moment. Many things went through his mind while looking at the content of the little case. When he looked away to where Brian was sitting, he wasn’t there anymore, but he was on his knees, in front of him. And now he understood.

“Roger Meddows Taylor” he started, trying to remember everything he rehearsed the previous night. “Since the day I met you I knew you were the love of my life. I fell in love the moment I saw you there at the stall, talking to Freddie. I fell in love with your face, your body, but most important, I fell in love with your personality, I love that you are fierce and is always with your heads up, you are confident and don’t let social norms affect the way you think or behave. I love that you always say what you think. I love that you are smart. I love you for who you are. And I am sorry I have to leave you for a year, if I could I would spend all days of my life with you, but I have to. So this is my way to promise you that I will come back and that when it happens we will be completely tied to each other. We will bond and we will get married. If you want. So… Will you marry me?”

Roger is nodding the entire speech, he couldn’t hold back his tears. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, a million times yes. I will marry you.” He lets Brian pick the ring and put on his finger. He thinks it was made to be there.

“I love you so much, Bri, so so so much. You make me feel loved and protected and you always let me be me and be free. I am so lucky that I found you, you are perfect and now my perfect fiance is going to be a doctor I couldn’t be more proud. We will have everything, Bri, I promise.” He says and then they kiss. Like there’s no tomorrow.

The day spend very quickly, to both of them dismay. Roger drives them to the airport, making sure that he is showing his ring. He can’t wait to tell Freddie and Deaky about it, he is sure Freddie will already make plans for the wedding.

“Will you be mad if I go with Freddie’s craziness and already plan our wedding?” He asks Brian while they are waiting for the flight call. They sitting the closest as human possible, just sensing each other’s scent.

“Of course not, if you promise to tell me everything when you call”

This is going to be insane. They will spend Christmas, New Year and next year’s birthday apart. It never happened since they started dating, and the phone bill sure will be very high. 

The moment eventually comes and he needs to let Brian go, he can’t miss the flight. The next day he already has to start the research, he already delayed his departure the most he could. The other students had no relatives to worry about, so for them it is easy, but Brian needed to stay the longer he could.

“We will make it work, Rog, I’m sure, nothing will change.” Brian says, while kissing him.

“I know, it will be difficult, but I’m yours and you are mine, we are engaged and nothing will change our love. I will love you forever, even when you are with your head in books and stars.” They kiss a little more.

“I will always be thinking about you.”

“You already said it”

“I mean it”

“I know, me too”

And then Brian walks to the plane. It hurts both of them, if they could, Roger would be there with him, but the money is short and the university is paying for Brian’s staying. It is an important thing and it will work, both of them think again.

It will work.


	3. Chapter III

Roger woke up without knowing what was happening. At the beginning he thought he was living yesterday again. It was early and Brian was not in the bed. He got up and went to the kitchen, but unlike yesterday, Brian was not there.

Then he remembered.

This is his first day alone in their flat. His first instinct was to sit at the same chair Brian was yesterday and cry. He did sat in the chair, but then he remembered that Brian asked him not to cry, not to be sad. “You said it is going to be a good thing for both of us, look, we will have more stability when they hire me as a full time professor, than we can move to a bigger house and start a family. So I don’t want you to cry, ok? I promise you that I won’t cry. I will miss you, but I won’t cry, because this will be over soon. Do you promise me the same thing?”

These are the exactly word he said to him, one day when they were discussing what they would do. So he did not cry. “Yes, I promise”.

He had breakfast, a cup of coffee with eggs to try and make Brian proud, if it was for himself he would just take the coffee, but if at the end of the day Brian call him and ask if he ate well he won’t have the guts to lie. In fact, he couldn’t wait for Brian to call. He knows that the first day will be for him to settle in and sleep, but tonight he knows he will listen to his love’s voice. 

It is Sunday, so he drives to John and Ronnie. It is good to spend a day with his friends, they will make him feel less lonely. Brian made they promise - he did that a lot - that they would take care of Roger, especially Freddie, that is a alpha that he trusts, but Jim, Ronnie and Deaky too. Deaky even said that he will make Roger spend some nights with him after the baby is born to help them. 

Oh, and it is another thing that they were worried, after Veronica and John announced their pregnancy, eight months ago, they asked Roger and Brian to be the baby’s godparents, but then everything happened and Brian won’t meet the baby until they will be almost one year old. That’s why Roger made his goal to be every minute possible with the baby after they are born (and now with John) and tell them all about uncle Bri.

When he arrives, Freddie and Jim are already there and he couldn’t hide his surprise for a minute. Freddie jumped on him screaming “is this a ring?” and Deaky was laughing so hard that Roger thought that he would give birth right there. He has no idea how to react and as Freddie is analyzing his hand he mouths a ‘what is happening’ to Ronnie and Jim, that are sat at the couch only looking at their partners with an expression saying ‘what he did to deserve them?’

“They made a bet that Brian would propose to you before he leaving, John said he would, but Freddie said that he is too dumb to do this”, Jim answered.

“Yes, he did. I wasn’t expecting, though”

“How did he do it?” John asked, catching his breath after his fit of laughter. 

“He put the box at the cupboard near the coffee” he shrugged. It is not the most romantic thing, but he is happy either way.

“Well, I hope yesterday was productive, as you won’t have a cock to fuck you for a year.” Freddie teases.

“Freddie, let’s not talk about it in front of a kid”, he says, looking at John. Freddie rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, he is pretty active today.” 

Roger finally enters the house and asks silently to Veronica to put a hand on the baby bump, at first he asked John too, but he said he is family and he can do what he wants. And despite hating the stupid rules that they put on omegas, he still is cautious. John is Veronica’s omega, they are bonded and he doesn’t need an alpha scolding him, especially now that his own alpha is not here.

But she is cool with it, he is the baby’s godfather and she makes a mental note to say it to him. They trust Roger and Brian and if something happen to them, they would want they to stay with their kid(s).

John takes his hand and guides to where the baby is kicking. “He is less active now, but you can still feel”

He takes a time just to feel the baby, it is still magical, how his friend is creating a whole new life, and Roger can’t wait to meet him. 

The day goes on like this, they making plans to the arrival of the baby in the next weeks and also discussing wedding plans, as Roger had predicted. He feels good, but he wants to stay like this every day, with his friends, laughing.

But eventually he has to go home, Brian will call and he doesn’t want to miss right on the first day.

Their house is cold, even if it is August, but maybe it is just in his mind, because he knows he will sleep alone. He is feeling something that he can’t quite put his finger on. He turns on the television and grabs the guitar. It is Brian’s, as he left his at his parent's house, and they use it when they have nothing else to do and only want to listen to each other singing. He wants to remember to ask Brian to sing to him some day, he won't make it without listening to his soft singing voice.

He just plays what comes to his mind, about an hour has passed when the phone rang. He ran to the kitchen to answer. 

"I miss you" he says, without a hello and not quite knowing that is Brian on the other side, just feeling it.

"Hey baby, I miss you too. What did you do today?" Brian asks.

"I spend the day with the guys, Deaky is pretty excited about the baby coming soon" he answers, dying to ask him about  _ his _ day.

"I bet he is." And he stops for a second. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, but I want to know how everything is there, where you are, what you did today"

"Fine, I have a small room, most of the work will be done at night and we have an observatory that we can spend the day, we have only one phone, though, I had to wait a little to call you. And today I only slept, I think, and I walked around a little, it is isolated, but very beautiful"

"I bet it is"

"But it is not as beautiful as you"

And Roger blushes. He was never shy, not even when they started flirting with each other, not on their first date, but right now he is a mess.

"Stop it… but yeah, I know you will make a great job and your research will be the best"

"Being a good one is already enough"

"I know"

Brian takes a time to talk again. "Do you want me to stay with you on the phone until you sleep?"

Surprised, Roger said "but I thought the phone is shared"

"It is, that's why I'm the last one to use it."

And the blond can feel the smile in his voice. How can he think about every detail?

"So we won't be able to have phone sex?" He asks, half teasing and half serious, he is worried about it.

"I don't know, we are in four here, so maybe if we negotiate I can take the phone to my room one day" 

"Ok, I can live with it, for now… but I want to sleep with you, just let me change my clothes and take the phone to the room"

He takes a record time to change into his pajamas and brush his teeth. When he is settled on the bed, he takes the phone.

And Brian sings to him. He didn't even have to ask, because even away, Brian knows what he needs. Even if he doesn't have his body heat and his cuddles during the night, he fell asleep with his love's voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me the entire day to write it and I still don't know if I like this chapter... but either way, I hope you enjoy and stay tuned for more!


	4. Chapter IV

Mondays were usually not bad for Roger. Well, not until he started dating and then living with Brian. He has always been a little grumpy and his father hated it, he said that an omega should not complain and be always still, because no alpha will want him if he keeps being all moody. At first he tried to follow what his father said, but then he decided that it is not worth it and he was not made only to please an alpha.

But with Brian it was so much better, he not only accepts Roger the way he is, he also makes everything in his power to make him feel better. It is much due to Brian’s education, his parents made sure he is not a typical alpha that thinks he is above everyone and treats omegas like they are just a thing - like his own father does. Brian’s parents are good people and he is just the reflexion of it. And he can’t be more grateful, he didn’t have the thought in mind to settle down and be with someone, he could handle himself, even his urges during heat, but he got lucky, really lucky.

He loves everything about Brian and he could stay in bed all morning naming them in his mind. But he has to get up and go to work. It’s been a little over than a week since Brian left to Italy and he kept his promise to call him everyday. He’s been updating him on the develop of his research and Roger is telling him everything that happens in his day, from the customers at the stall to Freddie’s drama to all the expectations to the arrival of the first baby of their little family of friends. But one thing he is not telling his fiance - he loves calling him like that.

He’s been feeling a little sick for about five days now. At the beginning it was just a discomfort at the bottom of his stomach and he thought it was because he was adjusting to his new life, he’s been spending more time at the stall, it means more time out and also means more money, and he’s not ate that much. So last night, Freddie and Jim stopped by and they ordered a pizza, it was a very peaceful evening, but after Brian called, he spent a good part of the night bent over the toilet, he thought about calling his friends to ask if they are ok and check if it was the pizza that caused it, but then he decided against it, it was already late. 

But then, the next morning, while he was thinking about how good the time with Brian was, it hit him again. Definitely not the pizza, hell, he didn’t even eat anything today yet. So yeah, mondays are not good for him again. After a good half hour in the bathroom, he took a shower and decided to go to work without coffee, not wanting to mess up with his stomach again. It is going to be a hell of a long day.

Thankfully he was feeling better as the day was passing and he even forgot about what happened last night and this morning. He managed to eat a pancake during lunch, but when he returned home after he closed the stall - it is Freddie and Jim’s anniversary tomorrow and the older man had to leave early to get everything ready - he was feeling very tired, like he worked all day and ran a marathon after. 

He orders some chinese food, too tired and too hungry to cook anything, that he knows won’t be that good. He definitely should have eat more during the day, because he is starving now. Thankfully, again, his stomach kept the food this time, and he waited for Brian to call while laying on the bed, the phone is now permanently in the bedroom, as they always talk very late at night. 

That night he doesn’t mention him getting sick, he doesn’t want to worry Brian over nothing, he is better now. But of course Brian knows better, he always does.

_ “And then he said that he would spend his entire life here… Rog? Are you ok?” _

Roger had no idea what to answer, he can’t lie when Brian asks him something directly, but he also can’t tell the whole truth.

“Yeah, I’m just tired, I guess”

_ “You are never tired” _

And it is true, he is always a ball of energy, but “I guess I just miss you so much”

_ “I miss you too… but you have to take care of you, Rog, are you eating enough? No, don’t answer, I know you are not.” _

“I am eating”

_ “Not healthy food” _

He doesn’t want to fight because of food over the phone, Brian always scolded him for not eating healthy enough ‘you don’t have to be a vegetarian, but a coffee in the morning, pancakes for lunch, pizza for dinner and cigarette in between is not what will make you live long enough’, and he doesn’t need this speech right now.

“Ok, I skip breakfast today” he breathes, there is no point in denying it.

_ “That’s why you are tired, do you know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day? Do I have to ask mum to go over there and check on you?” _

“God, no” he laughs and Brian laughs too, thank god it didn’t turned on a real fight, he doesn’t know if they can actually fight over the phone, but their goal is to make these minutes they have to talk to say only good things, like they were doing before when Brian was telling him about this weird colleague of him. And he loves Ruth, just to make it clear.

_ “That’s what I thought”  _

After some silence, Brian spoke again.  _ “It’s getting late, and I have to go to work now.”  _

“Ok, I love you”

_ “I love you too, good night, Rog” _

“Good night, Bri”

It is just when he is turning on his side that it hit him again, it is a miracle he made to the bathroom in time.  _ Shit _ . 

He’s been sick before many times, some times with the flu and the most of the times after drinking to much, but hell, this time is worse, because he has no idea what it is. He thinks he will start crying, but the phone rings. In a hope that, somehow, Brian knows he is not feeling good, even if he will never admit it to him, and is calling to make sure everything will be ok, he runs to the bedroom again.

“Rog, darling, I think you should go to the hospital” it is Freddie’s voice, and if Roger was pale before he doesn’t know, but he sure is now. “Ronnie just called, she’s taking Deaky there. The baby is coming!”

Oh… 

He doesn’t even change his clothes, he takes the car key without thinking, he finally will meet his godson. 


	5. Chapter V

The hospital at night is nothing what Roger expected. He was used with sea of people there, looking for someone, waiting to be seen by a doctor, some patients and nurses walking in the corridor, it is always a chaos. But at night it is so quiet, just a few people at the emergency and the room he is in there is only he, Freddie and Jim. 

He thinks that maybe people don’t want to be in a hospital during the night, or maybe they are inside the rooms with the patients. Or that there are not many omegas giving birth right now or they have no friends like John and they have only the family.

But he is not complaining, he doesn’t dislike hospitals, he thinks that maybe if he became a dentist he would like to work there and not in a private clinic. However he is happy with what he chose, he didn’t follow career in biology and the job at the stall with Freddie is stable, thank you very much.

He is also happy that there’s only they there, he is in his pajamas and he doesn’t need other alphas eating him with their eyes. But he is here for his friend, that is giving birth, if he hadn’t already, because no one is giving them information. He was still feeling a little queasy, and an odd smell after a nurse open a door was pushing him to the edge.

“Are you ok, darling?” Freddie asked.

Thankfully he had a pretty good excuse to use this time, otherwise he wouldn’t be facing his friend right in the middle of the night when he is feeling sick.

“Yeah, I’m just anxious, you know, we have no news since I arrived” 

Freddie nodded. “I know how you’re feeling, but soon we’ll have some news”

He offers his lap to Roger lay down and he gladly accepted. It wasn’t comfortable at all, but he felt much better having a familiar scent near and very good hand caressing his scalp. The blond doesn’t know when he dozed off, but he woke up with Freddie shaking him.

Veronica was there, just looking at them, it seems like she in shock, but she has a big smile in her face. Roger, who was just sleeping seconds ago, was the first to smile too. You can call it sixth sense, but he knows everything is ok, while the two alphas there were still waiting for her to talk.

Roger wasn’t feeling sick anymore when he got up and hugged his friend, he was so fucking happy. He lets her go and waits for her to nod to the two oblivious alphas.

“Let’s go, he already asked for you guys” she finally says, and even before going to the room Roger is already crying. They are like family, he met Deaky when they were still studying, they were so young and despite being so different when you give a first look - Roger is outgoing and John is shy - they are very much alike. When they met, John was already dating Ronnie, they got together when they were still teenagers, and everybody could tell they are made for each other, Roger, on the other hand, wasn’t with anybody at the time. When he met Brian and the alpha asked him out on a date, Deaky was the first person he told, and instead of taking Brian to meet his family, he organized a dinner with Clare and John and both had a very hilarious talk to Brian about how they would kill him if he hurt Roger.

Since they met they were best friends and then the four of them - he, John, Brian and Freddie - and the relatives - became a family. He couldn’t be more proud knowing how much they evolved, and are about to meet the newest member of the family!

The room is very cozy, there is a blue tie at the door and Roger knew he was right all the way, it is a boy. John is there, half sat and half laying on the bed, with lots of pillow, seeming discomfortable, but at the same time very very happy. At the corner there is a crib and a chair, but the baby is in John’s arms. He is so involved looking at him that he doesn’t even pay attention when the others entered the room.

Roger is in love.

“Guys, meet our little Robert” Ronnie says and the three of them coo in unison.

“Congratulations, darling, he is as cute as you” Freddie is the first one to talk and John looks up at him.

“Do you want to hold him?” He asks and Freddie looks at Jim with a scared face, Roger thinks he was not ready for this question yet.

“I don’t know, I think Jim should do it” he says, in a very serious tone.

John laughs at that. “Stop it, Freddie, I can’t laugh.” And he gives the little one to Jim. The baby is sleeping, peacefully, still with no worrying in this world. Ronnie is taking a lot of pictures, and they don’t blame her, it is a very unique moment, even if they are sure they will have more children, each one is special. 

“And he even came to this world at the day of our anniversary, isn’t it a coincidence?” Freddie says, clearly thrilled about this.

“Roger?” Jim asks after a time, and the blond nods, it is the first time he will hold a baby and it is him own godson, wow.

He takes little Robert and it seems like all his worries are long forgotten, how magical a baby can be. He is definitely in love.

“Hey little one, we love you so much already, me and uncle Bri, you will meet him soon, we will spoil you rotten, your parents will even fight with us because we will do whatever you want” and he kisses his little forehead, at this exact moment he hears Ronnie recording this moment, he makes a mental note to send this and other pictures to Brian.

“You are a natural, Rog, thinking about having one too?” Deaky asks when Roger gives the baby back to him.

“Oh no… well maybe when Brian gets back, but now I want to enjoy my godson”

They spend the morning like this, John was sleeping, too tired after giving birth, and other the three men were just admiring their newest addition. Eventually they had to leave the hospital, they were tired too, after spending the whole night there.

When he got home, it was still early and Brian wasn’t going to call until late, the others ladies are taking care of the store today, with neither Freddie or Roger going. Freddie called them and explained what was happening, so he hasn’t the work to distract him for the rest of the day.

After they left the hospital, they stopped by in a cafe to eat something and celebrate Freddie and Jim anniversary, but now he regrets because definitely the coffee did no good to his stomach. But then something crossed his mind, no it can’t be possible, it is just the high of just seeing a newborn.

Fuck.

  
  


“He is just the cutest thing in this world, Bri” he says, he couldn’t stop talking about Robert to Brian, he must know everything about their godson. “It wasn’t perfect because you are not here, I just wished you were, you are going to love him too, Bri, he is so small and he already looks like Deaky”

Brian laughs and Roger loves the sound, it is like he is right there with him, his worries from early long forgotten.  _ “I can only imagine, I wish I was there too, I hope he forgives me for missing the most of his first year.” _

“Don’t worry, Bri, I already told him about you… Oh, and I will send you some pictures too, Ronnie took a lot” He says, very excited. 

_ “Will you put some pictures of you too?” _ Brian asks, and Roger can tell he is smirking, that bastard.

“Of course”

They talk a little more about Robert and the whole family, it was a overall very light subject, until Brian took the conversation to a level Roger wasn’t ready to talk about.

_ “Your heat is coming soon, you know I can always take a pause here and fly over, you just need to say the word” _

His heart is beating faster when he replies. “No, Bri, you know if you do this it will take longer than a year for you to finish your thesis, we already discussed it.”

_ “I know, but I’m worry.” _

“Don’t worry, babe, I can take care of myself” he says, without slip the thoughts that haunted his mind early.

_ “I can always call you, if you want” _

“I know, but I think I won’t be able to listen to your voice and keep sane” he laughs

_ “Yeah, you are right” _

“So… when can we have that phonesex we talked?”

_ “What about tomorrow?” _

“I can’t wait”


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I should explain this AU, because I didn’t realized I’m writing it differently from others a/o/b au, so it may be a little confused. In this AU the omegas have their heats monthly (like a menstruation cycle) that last only a day (like an ovulation), that’s why Bri was asking Rog about it in the last chapter. Omegas can get pregnant anytime, but during the heats it’s when the body asks for it. Hope I make it clear and if you have any questions or doubts or if you want to say anything about this fic, you can always leave a comment or head to my tumblr valesweetdreams.tumblr.com. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter and tell me what you think, I’m always trying to improve.

It’s been a month since Brian left to finish his PhD and Roger may say he was getting used to live alone again, but he wasn’t. It was a strange feeling, he knew it was going to happen and he made sure he was ready, he made sure both of them were ready. He thought he was, he was the one always reassuring Brian that he is going to be ok, that he is ok.

But since what happened last week he couldn’t be more worried and scared and really fucking needing the warm of his love. 

He was already suspecting something wasn’t right, he didn’t want to say the word, too scared to do so. Since he started dating Brian, they always kept track of his heat cycle to make sure they weren’t apart and that they will have condoms at home. His heats have always been regular so the couple already has it in their minds, no longer needing the calendar to mark the days. 

The day his heat was about to start Brian didn’t call. For some minutes (ok, maybe hours) he was hurt, how could he not call? Didn’t he promise that he would call everyday? Roger even grabbed the phone to dial the number, god knows who would answer, but then he remember he was the one who asked him not to call because he would go crazy listening to his voice while in his most vulnerable moment. 

He could handle it alone, just thinking about his alpha, at least he would have it this time, the perspective to, soon, have him touching him again, and the memories of the past months. For _this_ he was ready, but it never happen, his heat never came.

At the first day he thought ok, maybe it is one day late, it’s not that bad, right? But at the next day, nothing. He was already desperate, he was supposed to go to work again the next day and Brian surely will call, asking him how it was and if he could handle everything by himself.

Maybe his heat will come at the third day and he will be in the middle of the store, talking to a client? Or right at the time when he hears Brian voice? Yes, maybe this is it, maybe his body knows his alpha is not there, so it won’t work properly until he hears his voice. He was miserable all day, and Freddie made him stay in the back, sorting the new clothes that arrived for the autumn new collection. His alpha friend just played it like his heat wasn’t a good one since he wasn’t with Brian this time, as he is always glowing the day after when they spend the day together, and Roger didn’t have the guts to tell him that everything went completely wrong and he didn’t have a heat at all.

Later that night, when he made sure that his heat didn’t hit him when Brian said “Hello love”, he couldn’t bring himself to tell his partner the truth, so he tried very hard to lie very convincing. “It wasn’t as good as if it was your cock”, and he thinks he convinced him, as the answer was: “I’m glad that you didn’t need me, but I wish I was there”.

Also that night he cried, for lying to Brian when he promised he never would, and for the perspective of what is about to come, he doesn’t want to face his reality.

So he made an appointment with a doctor one week later, _just to make sure._ So he found himself in the waiting room, the desperate thoughts started to leaving and he could think more clearly. He tried to remember everything he learned when he was studying biology, hell, he should have done this since the beginning, because there are a lot of explanations to this. 

Yes, maybe the condom didn’t work this time, it is more common than most of people think, and he is not on piles either, so yeah, maybe he _is_ pregnant. But it can also be other things, maybe he has a problem that affected his heat and messed up the cycle, it can be something serious… but it can also be a psychological pregnancy, it can happen, especially now that Brian is not here and he is alone, maybe the thought of having a baby was too appealing to his mind that his body thought it really was pregnant… Yes, maybe this is it, and then the doctor will confirm to him that he is not pregnant and he will take some medicine and everything will be back to normal.

But he didn’t tell the doctor what he is suspecting, so he tells the symptoms and the last time he had sex. She is a very young doctor, a beta, and she nods, of course she already knows what it. She tells him to go to the other floor and wait there so he will have an ultrasound, and then return to her with the result.

The whole process of waiting took about two hours, _a very good way to spend your saturday_ , Roger thinks. The girl that calls him to do the ultrasound is older that the doctor and she looks at him with friendly eyes, she’s probably used to this kind of scene. 

He follows her command and is laying there with his shirt up. He suddenly feels nervous again, it is a situation he imagine being completely different for him, with Brian always there by his side holding his hand, excited. But no, he is here alone, without even telling his friends he was going to a bloody hospital to see a doctor, they would freak out.

From the moment she puts the cold gel on his belly to the moment something appears on the screen, it seems like an eternity has passed. He has his eyes closed, he doesn’t want to look directly to his future. 

“From what you told doctor Jones and from what I can see, you are about eight weeks pregnant”

Probably from his reaction - his eyes are still closed - she doesn’t congratulate him. After a second he can hear a sound. It is a heartbeat, very fast, like something he does with the drums when they hang out and play a little. Suddenly he has a strong wish to just play something with Brian, they joke that maybe the four of them should make a band.

“The fetus is very healthy and the heartbeat is normal for this stage.” He finally opens his eyes and he regrets completely, there at the screen there is a tiny thing that is inside of him. He can’t bring himself to cry, but when the woman offers him a paper towel, she says. “We have a program here that helps omegas with unwanted pregnancy, you just need to ask doctor Jones and she will help you”.

There’s a lot of understanding in her voice, so yes, maybe she has witnessed many omegas there wanting to end the pregnancy, and maybe his face made her think that he wants it too, after all he has not a mate and he is there alone.

“No" he says, and without giving further explanation, he leaves the room, no ultrasound picture or other information with him, he doesn't even go back to see the doctor as they wanted him to. The thought of finishing a pregnancy scares him more than facing it, and it is Brian's child, this little dot he saw at the screen will soon be their baby. He would never end it.

But what will he do? He's sure Brian will be over the moon when he tells him, Freddie will jump in joy and Deaky will say his baby will be Robert's best friend. But what will happen with Brian's PhD? He can't drop it just because his partner is pregnant and in another country, and he doesn't know if he can do this alone.

So he runs, he starts his car and just drives. He doesn't want to go home, he is not used to living alone, he doesn't want to go back to an empty house. 

He stops the car and then, finally, he starts crying.


	7. Chapter VII

That's how he finds himself sitting on the couch of the May's. Ruth is at the kitchen making a tea and Harold is not at home. He doesn't know what got into him, but when he saw, he was parking outside the house of his in laws. Maybe it is a wish to have a mother hug - he can't go to his house, his own mother is not talking to him anymore - mixed with the wish to see something more related to Brian - he is the copy of his mother.

He looks around and sees a picture of baby Brian. He was so small. Roger remembers the day he took him to meet his parents, the first thing he saw was this picture and he joked "I can't believe that once you were so little", and he thinks if their baby will become as tall as him. He hopes so.

When Brian asked him to meet his parents, after they were dating for about six months, at first he was worried, what if Brian’s parents didn’t like him? What if they think he is not good enough? Many times he saw himself as an unworthy person, despite showing a confidence. He spent much time of his life watching is father saying horrible things about him, how a disgrace it was to have an omega son, and then say he will never find someone that will love him. And he believed, he believed that he couldn’t be happy with a love life, but Brian made sure to tell him that he deserves his love and much more, that he deserves the universe.

But that day, when they had dinner together, everything was perfect. Ruth quickly connected to him, as they are both omegas. Neither of the parents gave him a speech and Harold was very polite. They told him the whole story about the Red Special and said how happy they are that their son found someone he truly loves.

When he knocked at the door, he was crying, but he couldn’t bring himself to say what was wrong. Ruth just hugged him and was whispering something like ‘everything is going to be ok’ and ‘he will be back soon’. She probably thinks it is because he misses Brian, and in certain point she is right, he wouldn’t be freaking out if Brian was here, he probably would be the happiest person in this entire world.

They drank the tea quietly, he was a little calmer already, the presence of another person, a person he trusts, making him feel better. When Ruth starts talking about what Brian is researching, he smiled. They are all very proud of him and Brian is kind enough to also call his parents, at least twice a week. She asks him about what he is doing and he tells her all about the work with Freddie and he shows her a picture of baby Robert, talking proudly about his godson.

And then it hit him again, the whole reason why he is there. He feels uncomfortable and Ruth realizes it.

“What is wrong, honey?”

He takes a deep breath and at the moment he was opening his mouth to say something, Harold returned. He looks at him and starts crying again, fuck, should he be blaming the hormones already? But watching an alpha coming home, especially this alpha being  _ his _ alpha’s father, he can’t help himself.

“What is happening? Roger are you ok?” He asks, worried. He looks at her wife, neither of them understanding what is happening.

Roger has his hands on his face, he doesn’t have the guts to look at them in the face.

“I have something to tell you.”

“You are not sick, are you?” Ruth asks, even more worried.

“No, I’m not” 

In this moment a scenes passes in his mind. 

_ That morning he just found out they are going to have a baby, he is radiant and can’t wait to go home and tell Brian about it, but both of them have work to do. He goes to work with a bright smile in his face and Freddie realizes something is happening, he tells him and his friend says that he should surprise Brian at the University. _

_ “You don’t need to wait until he gets home, silly”, Freddie says and picks a white t-shirt, draws a baby face and writes ‘world’s best dad’. And Roger loved it.  _

_ He left the work early and drove to the University, he waited for Brian to finish a class and, without saying a word, he jumped on him and kissed him, not caring that people were staring.  _

_ “What is all of this about?” Brian asked.  _

_ He takes the gift and gives to him, Brian looking at him like he is not following his thoughts, but he opened it either way. He doesn’t say anything for some seconds and he just looks between his fiance and the shirt. _

_ “Really?” He asks and Roger nods.  _

_ “I love you so much, thank you, thank you, this is the best gift you could ever give me” _

_ “We love you too” _

He smiles at the memory he will never make and it confuses his in laws even more. He breathes in and out, twice, before he can bring himself to say the words out loud.

“I’m pregnant”

Silence.

This time he holds his breath.

Now he is looking at them, Ruth sat by his side and Harold sat on the armchair.

He is nervous and feels like he will throw up the little food he ate today.

“And is Brian’s?” Harold was the first to speak, breaking the silence that was bothering him so much, but maybe the silence wasn’t that bad. He tries not to take it too personally, he knows he is just making sure, he would never think he would be here, at the May’s house and say he is pregnant with other alpha child?

“Yes” he answers with a low voice, not fully trusting himself right now, not that he was before.

“Oh, honey, congratulations, I can’t believe I will be a grandma!” Ruth says and Roger can feel she is truly happy. She hugs him again and he appreciate it, enjoying the warmth from her arms.

“But I assume Brian doesn’t know yet?” She asks.

“No, I just confirmed it today at the hospital” he explains.

“So you have an ultrasound picture?” She is excited, but he remembers he just fled from the hospital and never got a chance. He doesn’t answer, so she doesn’t push on the subject anymore.

It is Harold who speaks next. “I thinks it is better like this. You shouldn’t tell him.”

And Roger’s heart is in his mouth. He knows he is torn between the two options he has, but he never considered  _ never _ tell him. He would someday, he thinks, maybe when they get into the first trimester, because he can’t let Brian in the dark… and besides, he can’t lie to him, he feels so bad when he does, like he did last week. Everything he wants is to be on his knees and asks for Brian forgiveness after lying to him.

“We will take care of you, don’t worry, you will have all the support. I would never abandon my grandchild. But if Brian knows he will drop everything and he will never finish his thesis, that's what he needs right now, he needs focus. It is what you want too, right? For him to focus on studies.”

Roger just nods.


	8. Chapter VIII

That day when he told Ruth and Harold was the first time he had a proper dinner in weeks. Since then, his mother-in-law always brought to him fresh food, saying that he has to eat for two now and fulfilling their promise to take care of him.

He can’t say he is feeling better, no, he is feeling awful for having to lie to Brian like this. Although he told him about his mother’s food and he is very happy about it, he even said he should have asked her to do it sooner. But still Roger feels bad. He knows it is the best for them, he would feel guilty if Brian left everything behind just to be with him…

All his bad thoughts were soon forgotten when the day of Freddie’s birthday party arrived. His friend decided to throw the party at end of the month instead of his actual birthday “because I want the best club in this town just for us and they only had a night free this day, I don’t care, I just want the best party ever”, Freddie said. And so at the 20th instead of the 5th they were there celebrating.

Even the gifts he asked them to give to him just at the party. This year, he and Brian bought the gift months before when they saw a cat scratcher and thought it would be better to give a gift to the cats. They were right because Freddie loved it and said it was the best gift ever.

As Roger has always been Freddie’s partner in crime, he was designed to help decorate the place, so he spent the whole day there, pasting colored ribbons on the walls and ceiling. It created a different atmosphere and with the lights off and just the light from the lasers was spectacular. 

They always knew how to party and this time won’t be different. Freddie knows a lot of people. A lot. It seems like the club was open and inside were the people that party there every weekend, but actually it was just the people he invited. For the first time in weeks Roger was finally feeling good, he could take his mind off the work and all the worries about, well, everything. 

And although he would give anything to have Brian here - it was a little depressing watching the people coming in with theirs respective ones while he was alone - he is spending a night with his friends, the people he loves. It is also the first time Deaky and Ronnie are going out since Robert was born one month ago and they deserve some break.

But one thing hit him when the waiter - yes, they have waiters serving drinks and food, it is just Freddie’s way - gave him a drink. He can’t drink. What excuse can he use? He has none. It is a party, he always drinks on parties, he always gets drunk on parties, normally Brian has to carry him home because he can walk straight. He can say he is taking medicine? They won’t believe in him. If he say he is not drinking anymore they will laugh. Once when they were working, Freddie said he needed a break and take a cigarette to de-stress, and Roger knows he is relating his stress with being alone, but he explained to his friend that he is quitting smoking because Brian never liked it and said he would die soon if he keeps smoking like a chimney and he wants to surprise him when he gets back, so he won’t smoke anymore. It was a smart move and the alpha even congratulate him on trying to have a healthier way of life. But with the alcohol what can he say? And if he says that he can’t drink they will all ask him if he is pregnant and he won’t be able to lie and will confirm and then everything would be a mess.

With the drink in his hand, frozen in the place trying to think of an excuse, a man, an alpha, approaches him. “Rog?” 

He turns around at the source of the voice and finds a person he has not seen in years. “Tim?”

He is surprised to see him, Tim has gone to the US with his girlfriend Lisa, who is a model, about one year ago. Tim and Brian are a long-term friends, having gone to high school together, so they had a lot of double dates. Tim and Freddie also are friends and studied design together. So it was just natural for them to become friends again.

“How are you? I thought you were in Los Angeles” he asked.

“I was, but we decided to come back, everything was so chaotic there and we saw that that life wasn’t for us. And then Freddie invited us to his party.”

“Oh, Lisa is here?” He looks around and Tim points to a corner, where she is chatting with Mary and other girls.

“But what about you? 

It is good to meet an old friend, they talked more about their lives and other stuff until the time to the cake. Thankfully during all this time neither drank, so he was relieved that at least Tim didn’t question it. 

For the rest of the party he tried to play like this: he took a glass from a waiter and waited until the next arrived close to him to put the drink there. The lights were in his favour, as it was very difficult to see clearly. Despite this, he had a fun night with he and John dancing around.

Brian called him the next morning, knowing that he was at the party until late at night. When Roger picked up the phone, near midday, he was already awake for about five hours because it seems like the baby decided to make a hell of him today to compensate the good behavior yesterday. Yes, there is a part of him that already thinks about the baby as a baby, although he rationally knows it is not a baby yet and the odds of an abortion are still high until the 12th week. That’s why he doesn’t want to get much attached, not at least until the first trimester is over, he is stressing too much and he doesn’t want to be disappointed. But he knows if something happen he will be devastated anyway, having kids with Brian is everything he always wanted…

He decides to play his morning sickness as a hungover, in fact, he didn’t have to say anything, as Brian already “knew” what happened. Again he is bad about lying to him, but he has no other choice.

“I will survive, Bri. But what about you? It’s been two months you are there” he says, he is not sure if it is a good or a bad thing, it is indeed two months without seeing each other, but it is also two less months they have to be apart.

_ “It is more tiring than I thought” _ Brian laughs and Roger wants to hear it for the rest of is life.  _ “Not sleeping much, though… but I think I will be able to finish the thesis earlier than I thought... “ _

His heart is beating faster, did he hear it right? “Really, why you didn’t tell me before??? You will come home early??”

_ “Maybe, I didn’t tell you to not create too much expectations, but I’m getting the most job done as I can now just to see you again soon” _

He smiles, if he is the motivation for him to work faster to go home, maybe knowing about the baby will help? Maybe Harold is wrong… But he has to think, it is always too much information…

“But you have to take care of yourself too, don’t forget about it”

_ “I am… I have to go, I love you, Rog” _

“I love you too, Bri”

After hanging up the phone he starts crying again. He has no idea what to do, each day that passes he is more and more lost… He puts a hand on his still flat belly. “What will we do now?”


	9. Chapter IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to Ruth and the May's have a surprise

Roger likes the weather at the beginning of october. It is cold but not too much that he has to curl up in three blankets when he is at home nor put four layers of clothes when he is outside. It is a wednesday afternoon and he left work early today. He had planned to go to the new restaurant near Freddie’s house with his friend, but he had a last minute meeting with a supplier that will probably take the whole night and Jim is in Ireland with his parents. 

So Roger called Ruth. Since that day he was there at his in law’s house he didn’t talk about the pregnancy with her, he just gladly accepted the food she brought to him every evening and thanked her. But now he feels he should talk to her, he has so many doubts and for what he is counting, he is already in the 12th week. He is still feeling tired and is sick most of the day, so he can’t enjoy the cool breeze because he gets tired when walking, it is already not easy staying standing all day while he is working, having a walk at the park is an ask for him to kill himself.

The May’s household have a warmth that he doesn’t feel anymore at home. It is different from when he is at his friend’s house, it is comforting in a way he can’t explain, it is the same thing he felt when he and Brian bought their house, it became home already in the first day. 

_ “So, what do you think?” _

_ Brian asked him to close his eyes the moment they arrived in the building. Their new flat is at the second floor and he helped him with the stairs. He was curious, Brian had said that he found the perfect flat. It already has some furnitures and others Brian brought from his old flat, he just said that it misses Roger’s touch. He, on the other hand, said that if it was up to him, he wouldn’t even have a couch, as it was when he arrived in London and had no money. But he also said he would be happy to put his touch of towel in the bed if Brian wants. _

_ “It’s perfect” _

_ “You only saw the entrance” _

_ “It is perfect because it is our house. Our home.” And it really was, Roger is going to help with the bills too, it is not like Brian is giving him everything, they got it together. _

_ That night they made love in their new bed, and then they just kissed and cuddled until both fell asleep. How much he misses Brian’s kisses and cuddles... _

He is brought back to the present with Ruth giving him a cup of tea, she says it is good for the baby and he won’t argue. That calmly feeling remains as they quietly watch the tv. She doesn’t ask anything, despite being curious to know why Roger called her when he could very well spend his evening with his friends. 

But she is glad that his son in law is here with her, Harold is still working in his office and she enjoys the company. She always liked Roger, he is a good man and his son loves him, which is the most important thing. She remembers Brian telling her that he met the most amazing omega, that he is perfect and everything he always dreamt. And Roger is very educated and has great sense of humor. He is also very independent and it is the thing Ruth likes the most about him.

“How it was when you were pregnant?” Roger asks, he was not paying attention to the tv, he was just watching the photos, many with a very young Brian and he started wondering… was it hard on her too? Did she had doubts?

“I was very happy, we always wanted to have a son… but I guess it is never easy, we always think if we are going to be a good parent and we are always scared, first about how to protect the baby growing inside of you and then how to protect the baby in the outside world. But it is the best feeling ever, I knew I was born to do this” she smiles and finally Roger looks up at her. He sees a hint of sadness there, like something had happened, it is the exactly look Brian has when he is in one of his depressive moods, but he doesn’t push further, he doesn’t want to pry and be inconvenient in a house he is a guest.

“I don’t know if I was born to do this” he says quietly.

“It is ok, we never know at first, but when there’s love nothing can go wrong and I’m sure this baby will be loved by everyone.”

Roger nods. Does he loves his baby already? Could he not love this baby? He is not sure. Then he thinks about one thing, it’s been a month since that day at the hospital that he confirmed his suspicions about the pregnancy and he didn’t even talked with the doctor, so no further exams, no vitamins pills, no schedules...

“I have to return to the hospital to the check up, I kind of ran away that day and it’s been already a month”, he chuckles sadly, he feels pathetic for having done this, like he is a teenager that has to run away from his mother because he got into trouble. Well, he did got into trouble.

“Don’t worry Roger, you will have all the appointments at the clinic.” Harold enters the room, Roger hasn’t even realized he was there.

“Clinic?”

“Yes, doctor Andersen private clinic”

“I don’t have the money to pay for a private clinic”

“We got it covered, we just want the best for our first grandchild”

Roger smiles, he is not sure if it is what he wants, he liked doctor Jones, she seems very nice, but he can’t deny his father-in-law help, and he also can’t deny that a private clinic sounds much better than the public hospital. Suddenly he feels like he is taking advantage of them, he is not even family yet and they are getting worried and wasting money on him already. He listens to his father’s voice, saying that he is useless, that nobody will even really love him.

“I-I can’t… it is too much trouble, I don’t want to put this on your shoulders, I’m sorry…” he says and is already getting up to leave. He needs to be alone, he needs to do this alone, it is his fault, it is his responsibility, he can’t let other people take it, he needs to face the mess he got himself into.

“No, Roger, it is no trouble, I already say, we just want the best for our grandchild, and for you to.” Harold says, for the first time since he told them, with a soft voice. “Brian loves you and you are family. You will get married, right? He proposed to you before leaving?”

Roger looks down at his ring and nods.

“This is the engagement ring I gave to Ruth when I proposed. Brian came here asking for the ring because we said that he should give it to the omega he loves and is sure to spend the entire life with, and he chose you. Now you are the responsible for growing our family, we couldn’t be happier and we will help you.” 

Roger is touched by Harold’s speech, Brian didn’t tell him that it was his mother’s ring. It has a history behind, it is a family jewelry that he trusted in him. Ruth hugs him and he tries to think like this, that they love him too.


	10. Chapter X

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger goes to the doctor appointment and John knows more than the thought

He got that appointment for Saturday morning, not wanting to do it during the week because of work, actually he could, but he would have to explain everything to Freddie and he doesn’t feel ready to it yet.

With no doubts the clinic is much better. The chair in the waiting room are much more comfortable. The secretary is an old lady and she even asked him about Brian. He was confused as why she knows about them, but then he remembered that is the May’s that are paying, so it is not so weird… Than she said that she was there when Brian was born. 

Roger got touched by it. Having their baby in the same place that Brian was born has many meanings, especially that probably he won’t be there with him, physically, it is a way to feel close to his fiance.

He was flipping through a magazine when a familiar voice called his name. He looked up and was surprised to see Dr. Jones there. And apparently she was surprised to see him too.

“Mr Taylor?”

They enter a very fancy room. Unlike the hospital, the ultrasound machine is there and she asks him to lay there while she gets ready to do the exam.

“I’m surprised to see you here, but then Rose explained to me that you are a very special patient.” She smiles and Roger feels guilty for not returning that day.

“And I’m sorry about that day at the hospital… I was nervous” he says because he feels comfortable around her, her presence makes him say everything he is thinking and he thinks it is a good thing, considering that he wants her to be his doctor.

“It’s ok, Mr Taylor, it is more common than you may think. But I saw the ultrasound and everything was perfect”

“You can call me Roger”

“Ok, Roger. So, you will feel a little cold, but then you get used to the gel” she explains before putting the gel in his belly. It is never comfortable and he doesn’t know if he will ever get used to it.

She is moving the probe with a very concentrated face. She is young, but is already very experienced. Roger wants to ask her if she ever sleeps working in two different places, but as she makes everything more easy to handle, they aren’t friends.

“Very well, everything is normal for the end of the first trimester, how are you feeling lately?” She asks while putting the sound on and that fast heartbeat fills the room again. Now he wishes Ruth was here with him, or better, he wishes Brian was here with him. He can’t answer her while listening to that sound, it is magical. “And the heartbeat is perfect”

As quickly as it came, it went, at least to him, he wants to hear the heartbeat of his baby forever. Dr Jones gives to him a paper towel and prints a picture. She asks him to sit in the (now not surprising) comfortable chair.

“Now, how you’ve been feeling?”

“The same, morning sickness, been tired, the usual”

“With the second trimester it will get better, you should feel with more energy and the morning sickness will pass. If you notice anything out of usual don’t hesitate to call me. I will ask other exams to check on you, but with what I saw from the first exam and now, there’s nothing to worry.”

He thanks her and leave with the ultrasound picture. The dot he saw the first time is bigger now. His baby is growing and now the risks of miscarriage are lower. He puts the picture in the passenger seat and thinks about driving home, but the day is so beautiful that he decides to take a walk at the park. 

He is still pretty tired, but he feels better after the talking with doctor Jones. He feels relieved. The birds make it less stressful too. He always liked the nature and it was his favourite subject when he was studying biology, although he was good at everything, it drove the professors insane, especially those who thought that omegas were not good students. He hopes his child will be smart, he was quiet smart too, despite not putting too much effort, Brian said it is his special talent. And, of course, there is Brian, it is impossible that his genes won’t pass to their child, he is the most smart person he ever knew. Hell, right now he is out there writing his thesis to become a doctor, it is impossible being smarter than this. Will their child like to study? He hopes so.

He is with his eyes closed, trying to remember the scientific name of the birds. He decided to sit down in a bench near the small lake. He hears someone sitting by his side and before he could realize who was there, he cursed them for sitting right next to him when there are plenty of benches free… but then he smelled that sweet scent that he could recognise anywhere.

“Deaky?” he asks, without opening his eyes.

“I imagined you were here. I went to your house but you weren’t there”

Roger hears him picking Robert from the baby carriage and finally looks at them. The baby is still small, he is just six weeks old and he seems pretty comfortable in his dad’s arms. It is a sight Roger loves, it is like his friend was made to it, exactly like Ruth had told him. They both are so natural and the blond envies them a little, they are so good with this parenthood thing and he feels like he will never get ready to do it. He knows how Deaky and Ronnie were excited to have their first baby - he was there with them. 

“Here” it was just when he sees that John is giving him little Robert for him to hold that he realizes he was staring. It’s been only two days since he saw them, but he can’t deny that he missed that sweet smell from his godson, he would hold him forever if he could, he brings a sensation of peace to his heart.

But today is different, today he imagines Robert playing with his baby, he imagines them being best friends as their parents…

“You know you can trust me, right?” Now is John who is staring at his son and his best friend. He knows something is not quite right with Roger and he has his suspicions, he doesn’t want to push him, but the way he is looking at Robert…

“I know” he looks down at his godson that is now peacefully sleeping, unaware of the world around him. “It’s just… it’s so confusing…”

“And I bet Brian doesn’t know?”

“How do you know?” Roger is surprised, but he shouldn’t be. He and John met at the University, they were two of the few omegas that were studying there and they became really good friends after meeting at the coffee shop, John to study, Roger to kill the time, he didn’t have the money to buy anything… And since then they kind of created a bond, they know exactly what is going on with the other just with a look. 

“You’ve been acting off lately and you didn’t drink at Freddie’s party. I know you didn’t stop smoking because of Brian, if it was because of him you would have stop years ago… and you don’t look at Robert the same way Freddie does.”

“Yeah, it’s crazy, isn’t iŧ?” It is the only thing he managed to say. He can’t look at his friend, not right now. He thought he was hiding it very well, but apparently he is not… what if Freddie knows and that’s why he is more overprotective over him? What if the customers knows? What if Brian knows, even over the phone? It is going to be disappointed if he figured out and didn’t immediately returned… but no, he can’t think like this, it is not what he wants…

“So I figure Brian doesn’t know yet?”

He shakes his head. “And please, don’t tell anyone… I don’t know if I’m ready yet”

“I promise, Rog, but please… let us help, let me help, let me in, you don’t have to go through this alone”

And Roger knows… he does...


	11. Chapter XI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's POV

Brian didn’t accept the application to finish his PhD right away. He’s been studying for years now, but his subject of research was very difficult to find in the lightly nights of London, so he kept with his theoretical research and whatever he could do in his city. He knew he had to spend some time abroad to finish it, and it is his dream, really, he wants to see that ‘Dr’ in front of his name and make his father proud. If they offered it to him right three years ago, he would have taken it, he would have left for one, two, three years if he could. He was already dating Roger, but it wasn’t going to stop him, he was quite of difficult at the beginning of their relationship and he has no idea how Roger stayed with him. So yes, three years ago he knows he would have broke things off with his boyfriend and with no doubts he would have went to Italy to follow his dreams.

But now things are different in his life. They’ve been together for four years, they live together, they have a routine and they are already talking about expanding the family. And it is this last subject that catches his mind. Roger has a stable job and earns a good amount of money working with Freddie at the stall, and he is working as assistant professor at the University, a position they had to give to him because he is not a doctor yet, and the money isn’t bad, but it could be better. They have a stable life for the couple, a house, a car, weekends getaway to the beach, romantic dinners and many drunk nights with their friends. But if you are talking about having kids, than they need more. They need a bigger house that they can’t afford right now, they need to feed and provide to another human being and it definitely calls for Brian to finish his thesis and finally get a position as full time professor.

That night he talked to Roger about it. It’s only one year, with the perspective of a few months less, because he already has a good part done. And his boyfriend was 100% supportive, he said he should do this, because God knows when he will have another opportunity and now it the perfect time, they already have a stable relationship and of course they will make it work as a long distance relationship, why they had invented the telephone, either way? 

Before accepting, Brian talked to Roger again, to make sure if he didn’t change his mind. His boyfriend said to him that he shouldn’t worry. But he does. It is not that he doesn’t trust Roger, God, he would die for him, but what if he realizes he is better without him? That he doesn’t need Brian and his negativity around him all the time? What if he finally realizes that he is too much for this tall, skinny and nerd alpha that has a weird face? Because really, Roger is perfect, he is not only beautiful, with a perfect body, perfect blond hair, perfect blue eyes, perfect cheekbone and perfect lips, but he is also smart, charismatic, outgoing, just natural at everything. One day he will see that Brian is not half of what he expected and he doesn’t want it to happen, despite thinking it is inevitable.

He tries to think about Roger’s flaws, once Freddie said to him that he should also think that Roger is not perfect, that he also makes mistakes and has insecurities, just like himself. Ok, Roger likes helping people… ok, flaws… he is too stubborn, he doesn’t talk when something is wrong with him, he doesn’t like to open up about his deep feelings, he refuses help and he doesn’t want other people worrying about him, despite being very communicative about their relationship since what happened at the beginning, the other issues of his life are very difficult to get into. 

And it is one thing that he worries that will be in their way during this time, that’s why he decided to propose, he thought that having a wedding to organize will make Roger feel better whenever he is feeling down and doesn’t have him to cuddle. He knows how much he and Freddie like to organize parties, they could spend days talking about it.

So he went to his parents house, also to say goodbye to them, and asked his mother’s engagement ring. He didn’t have the time - or money - to buy a ring, but Ruth was happy to start a family tradition. His father is happy that is doing this, he always supported his studies and couldn’t be happier for his son. He wasn’t too thrilled with the engagement thing… Sometimes he thinks his father doesn’t like Roger, but he never said a bad word about him, it’s just, he guesses that Harold wouldn’t like anybody that Brian introduced to them as his partner, maybe he thinks it is a distraction.

That last morning at home was the best he had in years, Roger was so happy and they spend the day together, doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company. Unfortunately the moment of taking the flight came and Roger was with him the whole time. He thought about inviting Freddie and Deaky to be at the airport with them, but he decided against it, first because John is pregnant and he doesn’t want to make him stress more than necessary, they already cried at the party, he will miss his friends too, and second, he and Roger need this moment to themselves.

They kiss a long goodbye, not a long ‘see you soon’. “We will make it work, Rog, I’m sure, nothing will change”.

“I know, it will be difficult, but I’m yours and you are mine, we are engaged and nothing will change our love. I will love you forever, even when you are with your head in books and stars”  _ his _ star said to him.

The flight was relatively short, he was tired but couldn’t sleep. He only managed to after he was settled in in his room, the room he will live in for the next 12 months, or less, he hopes. There’s a table, a single bed and no phone. He found out that the five students and the professores will have to share a phone, but they can ‘book’ the phone and take to their room if they want to have some privacy.

The others teased him when his eyes shone when they told him this. The other students are nice, they seem like good people that are actually having fun being there. They don’t have a partner, three are betas and other two are alphas, and they dedicated their entire life just for the studies. They asked him about his life and what is like to have an omega, it was fun to meet new people, but they had just a little time to do the talking because really, they were there to work.

Some days they were up all night to make some observations, others they locked themselves in their room to write down and make some progress. Brian was sleeping two or three hours only just to finish this sooner. He is the only one who calls home everyday and after two months they let him take the phone to his room everyday, giving the fact that when the others also used it, they do it before him.

As the times passes and he is more and more focus on his thesis, he is also getting more and more worried with Roger. It is a good thing that his mother is now helping him with food, Brian knows who Roger will likely skip every meal and survive only with coffee and that pancake from near the stall. But why only after  _ weeks _ since he left that she decided to do it? He is sure it’s her who offered, Roger would never ask her help, too stubborn.

And some nights he is a bit off too, Brian knows it is difficult, sometimes he wants to give up and just go home. It is not easy to have this pressure of deadline from the University and his own mind making him do everything faster and in with the highest quality he can. But Roger has always been the most confident between them and sometimes he misses it. He doesn’t want to push, either, he is so tired that just the thought of maybe starting a fighting gives him a headache. The conversation about how their day went was enough, the ‘I love you’, ‘I love you too’, the ‘I miss you’ and ‘I miss you too’ and the ‘I wish you come home soon’ and ‘I wish I was with you’ were there at the end of their talk everyday... the only thing showing they are still a couple is the phonesex they do sometimes.

_ At least he thinks of me when he is high on the sex. _

But no, Brian doesn’t want to think that it will change them. It is just that he can’t see Roger’s face, he is sure he is still excited waiting for him to call, he is sure that those words he says are true, that he misses him. No, their love won’t diminish because of it. They are strong… he just needs to sleep.


	12. Chapter XII

It’s been two weeks since that talk with John and his friend hadn’t say anything explicit to him about the pregnancy since then. He is grateful, John knows he doesn’t want to talk to him about experiences and everything involving babies and stuff, still he checks on him more than usual. Roger should be a little pissed off, but he is not, he appreciate his friend’s support.

It made him think about telling Freddie too, but he is an alpha, after all, and he surely will worry about him more than Roger wants right now… it doesn’t help him feel bad for keeping it from him, though.

That morning he woke up feeling good. He’s been feeling more alive for the last week, just as doctor Jones said he would, it is the wonder of the second trimester. He also took the dust off his biology books, it’s been one year since he graduated and those books haven’t seen a light since then… no, worse, since he last studied anatomy. He’s been reading some things that he had forgotten and remembered that at the time he and Brian had just started dating and the thought of mating, getting married and having kids were far away. They were happy and in love and Roger had to fight to get Brian’s 100% attention, the first two things didn’t change, they are still in love and happy - despite the distance and the little secret Roger’s been keeping for the past three months… but it is not the case. But the last thing did, thankfully, with the time, Brian learned how to keep focusing on his studies and still being in a relationship. And he is doing it now as he is doing his research and at the same time calling Roger every day, at the same hour, not missing one single day.

Roger misses him every day, every hour. He wishes they were doing this together.

He gets up and realizes it is Sunday. He had to work yesterday because Freddie had this new supplier that some customers were dying to see the clothes and Roger had to do an extra shift, because he is the best salesman that Freddie has, according to Freddie himself. It is funny how in four years the stall turned into a success, at first it was just the two of them there and Roger has no idea how Freddie managed to pay him. But it worked out well, they now have other three people working with them due to the demand and despite his friend offering him a higher position, Roger always says that he likes convincing people to buy their products - his face helps. 

The work yesterday was good, he didn’t complained and he got to make a good amount of money. He was in a good mood, which surprised Freddie and everybody there. He also had phone sex with Brian last night and it made everything perfect.

He contemplated staying in his pajamas all day, but decided against it. It is a thing to do on Sundays when he can just stay in bed cuddling with his boyfriend, doing nothing. He needs to keep the traditions. He won’t do this alone.

But today he has the day all to himself. John and Veronica are at Ronnie’s parents and Freddie and Jim took the day to do couple things (Roger doesn’t want to picture it, thank you very much), and he doesn’t know what to do. Thankfully Brian will call early today, apparently the sky is perfect this week to his research and he will be out during the night and at the time he usually calls. 

He looks at himself in the mirror. It’s been ages since he’s done that, he never had a problem with his body, he always knew he was pretty and Brian always made sure to worship him. This time, though, he sees something different. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but there it is, that small swelling in his belly. It’s week 14. He has a calendar in the fridge, to keep track of the development, at least one good thing of being graduated in biology, he was doubting he could use his acknowledge to something useful.

But as he kept staring at himself in the mirror he starts panicking. Since today everything was so abstract despite the very real ultrasound picture that is in the fridge beside the calendar - that he looks everyday before making tea (he can’t drink coffee anymore and it is not a good think to him mood) and remembers that day when Brian proposed and put the ring inside the cupboard. From now on it will be difficult not to tell the others he is pregnant, the baby will only develop more and more and he doubts he will fit his own pants in the next days. He will have to tell, he will have to take easy on work because he won’t be able to stay standing the whole day.

No, he is not ready to do this and he doesn’t know if he will ever be. He doesn’t want to break the news to the world before seeing Brian and it won’t be possible because Brian won’t be home soon and the due date is before he even finish his thesis. Roger needs the support from only one person and don’t tell him that he can do this over the phone, he can’t, not yet. He needs the touches and the voice and the eyes he loves very much.

He tries to hold back the tears. He can’t cry. It is his choice. But, well, he still have some months before really showing, so… he can wait, right? This morning he makes it, this morning he doesn’t give up to the panic that was raising inside of him. The little voice inside his mind still giving him time.

He quickly puts some clothes (still his own, thank you very much) and as he is sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of fruits (he is not recognising himself as he never liked strawberries and now he can’t start the day without eating it) he has an idea. It is Sunday and he thought about going to the park to kill the time until Brian calls, but that big store near the University is open (poor employees that doesn’t have the weekend off, but not everyone is lucky enough to work with Freddie) so he decides to go there.

There are more people there than he thought, people really like to buy stuff on Sundays, don’t they? Or maybe they are just walking and an open store is the perfect place to take a look at. 

He goes to the maternity section first and picks some pants. It is a good thing it’s autumn, so the cold weather will make him wear more clothes. He doesn’t even bother to pick some jackets or hoodies, he has plenty of Brian’s that he left at home, he won’t complain and definitely will wear them, screw fashion when you can smell like your fiance. 

But his mind wasn’t in buying clothes for him, no, he actually didn’t even want to do this, it’s just, he is already there, so why not buy them already and avoid going in that section ever again? No, his mind was in that section by the end of the store.

The baby powder smell is intoxicating, he never thought about it before, but it is one of the best scents he ever felt. Will in half a year his own baby smell like this? He hopes so.

The matching tops and bottoms, the bodysuits the teething bibs, the little socks, he wants to buy everything. He remembers when he went shopping with Brian to find the perfect first gift to Robert (they ended up buying the smallest hat Roger has ever seen) but at that time it was different, he felt different towards all the baby stuff. Now it is for his own baby.

And really, he wants to buy everything, but he controls himself, it is still so early to buy everything, he still needs to think about how he will make a nursery… things to think about later, much later. But what really catches his attention are the blankets. They are so soft and tiny and comforting. He thinks he spends an hour just looking at them and touching them. 

At the end he buys one with planets print. He considered if it is going to be too depressed for him to look at the blanket think about what Brian is doing far away from him. But at the end he decided that it is a good thing and he wants the first gift he will give to his baby to be a reminder of Brian.

He can’t wait to go home and wait for Brian’s call… and then ask him everything new that he learned about the stars, while holding the new blanket.


	13. Chapter XIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Brian and Roger met...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this chapter tomorrow, but it is ready already and I can't help myself!
> 
> (We'll have some flashback chapters to see how Brian and Roger met, probably the next two too... hope you enjoy!)

_ 5 years ago _

Roger was trying to find a job since day one. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, he found a place relatively cheap, but far from the University, he has to take a bus and walk another 20 minutes because he has no money to pay for more than one transportation. He always felt the look from the alphas on his way on the streets. He is the weird one, he isn’t supposed to be there, walking alone, going to the school to study and have his own life. 

Thankfully there was another omega, younger than him, studying there too. They met when Roger switched dentistry to biology, one year after starting the course, he is sure John is too young to be there, but he doesn’t question it. They became really good friends, not talking these shit about not having the same rights as the others, just talking about music, studies and everything that came into their mind, sometimes not talking at all, just enjoying each other’s company. John is a very good friend. He has a girlfriend, Veronica, and they are the sweetest couple he ever saw. She studies there too, and despite it, Deaky has the time to give attention to his friend too. Roger thinks that maybe it is because they are both omegas and really, they do need some time away from alphas. Roger is also a very good friend of Ronnie and also their third wheel. 

It's is his friends that said to him that there's this alpha, that happens to be John's friend, is looking for someone to help him with his stall. He is a designer and has his own clothing collections, but also sells some others, Roger didn't caught it right. Freddie wants to be big and John is sure Roger is the perfect person to help him.

It is october and he finds himself in Kensington Market, two years after arriving in London and just surviving, with the hope that finally he will make some money to have a decent life. It turned out that Freddie is really a nice guy. He didn’t asked Roger those job interview shit, he said Deaky already said good things about him and approved his look, especially the pink sparkle shoes, and said it will be great to business, the customers will love. The paycheck wasn’t great, but he could catch the two buses now and buy more food, alcohol and cigarette, he started smoking again. His small flat still doesn’t have a couch, he has other priorities, but he bought a new mattress to his bed. He thought about moving out and find someone to share a better flat with, but he thought better and having a shit flat and keep his privacy is better, thank you very much. 

He also started going out more with Freddie. His new friend - yes, they are not just coworkers, as Freddie call them, they also became friends - surely knows how to party. For the first time in his life Roger feels truly free, happy and like he has a place in this world. 

After two months he is working there, not that he is counting, a man entered the stall. Freddie was doing something in the back, so Roger got up and went to meet the new customer. He is an alpha, that he can tell, and it is not usual for alphas to go there as the target is for more... extravagant people. The first thing he notice is the clogs, why the hell a man wearing clogs is there? Maybe he wants to change style? It is the only explanation. Then he looks up. He has long legs, really long legs. He is wearing a very simple black trousers, a white sweater and a jacket, not the most fashion thing Roger ever saw, and considering it is already december, he wonders if maybe the guy is not feeling cold. But what really got his attention was the man’s face. He is very skinny, but it makes his face look very good. He has a very gorgeous hazel eyes. His hair is dark and it looks like he had is straightened but then regretted to do it. Roger wonders how his hair is when natural.

He realizes he’s been staring for some time now, neither of them said a word, but as he is working, he is the one that needs to make the effort, they can’t lose customer because Roger was ogling him.

“Welcome, how can I help you?” He asks and the man smiles, he has a very beautiful smile, he thinks.

“Hm, is Freddie here?” And the voice! Is so soft and calm, Roger really needs to put himself together and stop thinking about a customer like this.

Before he has the opportunity to answer Freddie appears. The blond is still standing in the middle of the stall, looking at the man that is still near the door.

“Brian, dear, I’m so glad you decided to come, I thought you had class now”

Hm… so his name is Brian and Freddie knows him. But Roger never met him before, he is definitely not one of the friends from the parties. 

“No, the kids have an out of school activity, so I have the day off”

Roger is still there, looking at him and just now he realized how his scent is different, sweeter, something like honey. He barely listen when Freddie started talking to him.

“So, Rog, my very good friend Brian has a date tonight, what about you help him choose an outfit?”

Thankfully he catches the last part and finally moves his feet, he makes a gesture for Brian to follow him, he has to be professional. He thinks he heard he has a date? Really? And he thought he would have a chance…

“I guess you have no idea what to wear tonight?” He asks, again reminding himself that he need to be professional. He is always very good at talking with customers and this time won’t be different. 

“I do, but Fred said I should make a good first impression” he says laughing a little.

“Oh, so it is a first date?” So maybe he still have a chance?

“Yeah, also a Fred thing, he always says I should go out more and meet new people, so he sat up this blind date” he shrugs, Roger can tell he is not comfortable, so he won’t give to him the usual thing he would recommend to a date. He goes with a black suit. Black is good on him and it is safer.

“Here, try this one, it will be perfect on you”

When Brian got back from the fitting room, man, Roger wished he was the one going out on a date with him, he was looking so good.

"Definitely Fred got this right, you are really a natural to choose outfits, Roger" 

He smiles, he knows he is, but this compliment coming from that man is completely different.

"I'm glad you liked it"

"I loved it"

When Brian left, after talking some more with their friend in common, Roger was more impacted than before. However, he still had to work and as Freddie returned to whatever he was doing before, he was alone with the customers until it came the time for them to close the stall.

They still sat there, drinking a beer, although Roger has to go home and do a paper that is due next week and he didn’t even start. But now he's just trying to enjoy the moment, the tall brunet still in his mind.

"Poor man, I hope this time it will work" Freddie says while looking at his watch.

"What?" Roger asks, he knows what he is talking about and deep down he hopes he will have a chance in the future.

"Brian. He is so lonely, always studying or worrying about his own students, he deserves some break." Freddie always cares about his friends, that Roger could tell since day one.

"Yeah, he does" it is what he replies. He wants to ask everything about this Brian to Freddie, but he can't seem so willing. They just met and interacted for about five minutes, it is not like he will fall in love or something, he thinks he just need to meet new people.


	14. Chapter XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are still in the past to look at the beginning of Brian and Roger history as a couple

_ (5 years ago) _

"Come on, Bri, just this one, this time I'm sure it will work. I found the perfect omega for you"

"You say it every time, Fred. I'm tired of it, and besides, you know I don't have time"

Since that awful date he had a couple of months ago thankfully Freddie stopped setting up potential partners for him. He knew he had to find someone, even his mum keep asking him if he is seeing someone, but the real thing is that he doesn’t have time to invest in getting to know another person romantically. Besides, he doesn’t want to talk about it with his friend, but that night the only thing in his mind was that blond that sold the suit to him and works with Freddie.

Roger.

He knew his name before, but he never thought he would be like that. All the descriptions Freddie gave to him do not lives up to what he really is. But he should not think about him like this, he would never go out with someone like him, he is out of league.

“But this time it will work, darling, trust me” Freddie says, again. They’ve been in this for about 15 minutes.

“Ok, when and where?” He needs time to prepare, he will only agree because his friend won’t leave him in peace until the next life if he doesn’t agree. He loves Freddie, but sometimes he is too much.

“Now”

“Now?”

“Yes, get ready and go to that italian restaurant, you already have a reservation”

Brian have to admit that yes, he loves his friend. He always think about everything and besides being grumpy about it, he really likes when Freddie pushes him like this. This is why they are friends in the first place, they complement each other very well. 

“Thank you, Freddie” 

“Put that suit that you bought that day” he winks and says before getting up and going to the door. They were hanging out in Brian’s place in a Saturday night. And he would say it is pathetic. Many times Freddie tries to take him out to a party someone is throwing, to make him live a little, but he is always out of energy and if he really leaves him flat he will be whining all the way and before one am he will be getting a taxi to go home. He is not funny and he always says to Freddie to just leave him alone, but his friend does not.

Some nights he won’t go out and will be just with Brian in his house, drinking beer or something stronger and talking about life, the future and when they are drunk enough they even sing something with Brian playing his guitar. Some nights Deaky is there too, when he is not with his girlfriend, and he doesn’t sing - well, he says he doesn’t, but they all know he does.

Those are good moments in Brian’s life and he appreciates his friends support. But now Freddie left him in a position, he really didn’t want to change his clothes and go out, but he can’t make the other person waiting, right? Although he never admitted to his friend, he is always a little sad after those dates, he is always so boring that the other person didn’t even want him to walk them home, and call him the other day? No chance. So he says to himself that this time he won’t be sad. This are the way they are and if his destiny is to be alone talking about boring things, he will do this.

He quickly takes a shower and puts the suit. The suit that Roger chose for him. He doesn’t straight his hair this time, though, he is trying to accept his own hair the way it is. He decides to take a cab soon and this way he is about half an hour early the time the date was scheduled.

The table is in his name, as always. The waitress is always the same and he is sure the woman thinks he is a loser, he is there every month with a different person. He orders a glass of wine to loosen up a little. It is a familiar place, but he doesn’t like it very much. He used to, that’s why he asked Freddie to set up the dates there, but now he is not so sure anymore…

He doesn’t even realizes the time passing, but he is looking at the door. His table has a good view to the door, but also to the window, his first thought was to show the stars to his date when they are still at the restaurant, but he never got to this point… When he spots a blond man that he recognise very well, although he only saw him once. Fuck, just his luck, why is he here tonight? Maybe he always eats here? Or maybe he also has a date? Now how will Brian focus on his date if the man that is in his mind for the last couple of months?

He tries not to stare, this way Roger will not see him and will go straight to his own table, but he never has what he wants, so of course the blond sees him and smiles. Brian wonders if he knows what his smile does, because god, he think he will die right there.

“Hello” Roger says, approaching the table.

“Hello” Brian replies, it is not the way he usually greets someone, but he is so taken back by seeing the blond there and worse, he coming to his table that he doesn’t know how to act.

“Is this seat taken?” He says, still smiling. He is bold, Brian thinks.

“Actually…” he doesn’t like to say no, he is asking to sit with him and what will he say? Deny him it? “I’m waiting for someone…”

“Oh, a date?” Roger is smirking and Brian is not sure where he wants to go with the questions and the teasing. He just nods.

Then Roger sits in the chair in front of Brian and gets himself comfortable. “So convenient, I am your date”

In this hour Brian wanted to have more wine with him, he really needs the alcohol to process everything that is happening. So Freddie set him up with Roger? And Roger knows? He doesn’t remember telling his friend about his crush on the blond, so how does he know? And in those blind dates neither are supposed to know… Then he realizes he didn’t got up to push the chair for him, a thing he always did when his date arrives, but Roger doesn’t seem like a traditional omega or beta, he is very sassy and likes to tease, so he probably is not disappointed by the lack of the gentleman acts by Brian.

“You are? Well, I guess this time Freddie really did his best by setting one of his friends” 

“Well, I was really curious to know how this blind date thing went and you really got my attentions that day… besides, this suit looks really great on you” Roger winks. God, this man really knows how to flirt. Instead of he being the one blushing with the alphas compliments, it is the other way, Brian is the one blushing and not knowing what to say.

“I guess the seller that chose it for me has a good taste”

He is doing it right, right?

“So, what do you usually orders here?” Roger asks, picking up the menu. Brian is staring at him, how can he change the subject so quickly like nothing happened? And why is he asking about the food when no one ever did?

“Hm… I really like the pasta with sauce, it’s what I always order. And wine”

“I liked the wine” Roger laughs and Brian laughs with him. “But what is so special about this pasta?”

“It is vegetarian” he answers quickly, the words already ready in his tongue. This is not a thing that is discussed during the dinner. The other person usually think it is bullshit to not eat meat just because you can’t stand the animal suffering, once a woman even said to him that the animals would die either way…

“You’ve always been vegetarian?” Roger asks, seeming interested in the conversation.

“Since I left my parents house” He gives the blond a little smile.

“I trust your judgment. I’ll have the pasta with sauce too” Roger says, already searching for their waitress.

“Wait, really? He wasn’t believing in the scene he was watching. Roger was ordering their food and a bottle of wine. ‘The same he always has’, it is what he told the waitress. Brian was speechless.

“What?” Roger asks when he returns his attention to the brunet and sees he is staring with his mouth open.

“This never happened before, people usually think it is too boring to eat this” he catches himself telling the truth, there’s no point in pretending here, Roger makes him feel so different…

“Well, food is never boring”

“I guess you're right”

They both laugh and share a look.

“So, what do you do? I heard Freddie asking you about the school the other day?” Roger asks, now going to the usual questions of a first date.

“He didn’t told you?” 

Roger shakes his head. “No, he said I should ask you myself, well, here I am!”

“Ok, yes, I study astrophysics, applying for a PhD and I also teach math for elementary school, you know, need to make money somehow”

“Astrophysics? So you are really smart, not just the look” Roger says it so naturally that Brian wants to ask him to say it again.

“What about you? You don’t just work with Freddie, right?” He asks, changing the focus to the other man.

“He told you about me? No, I’m a biology student too… I know, it is not common, but”

This time Brian has to interrupt. “I think it is great, Roger, you are smart too, biology is not easy.” He smiles. 

“You think? You are the first person to say it to me”

Brian wanted to reply, but their food arrived and they didn’t have the time to talk again, too busy eating. Roger, despite being bold, is also very educated, that Brian can tell. They both drink their wine and eat their pasta in silence, enjoying the moment. It is a good change, usually the silence that follows the first conversation is awkward, but not this time, this time the silence is natural.

“So, what do you do with your dates after the dinner?” Roger asks after they finished eating. Brian looks to the window behind him. The sky is clear and the stars are bright. 

“Well, this is usually the part where everything goes wrong and the other person leaves” he says, joking, or not that much, it is the truth, after all. Some walked with him but got bored when he started showing him the stars.

“What about you take me on a walk and show me stars?” 

“You want to?”

“This is the first time I meet an astrophysic student, I have to take advantage.”

It is completely different from everything he ever lived, but maybe it is a good thing. Changes are good and Roger makes it so easy. It is not like they are making it because they desperately need to find a partner, no. They walk on the streets and point to the sky, Roger asks questions that no one ever asked to Brian. Brian explains to him and they smile. He even forgets it was a blind date, but he has to thank Freddie. It really is the best first date he ever had. 

At the end of night they were both cold after walking too much in the cold night. Brian walked Roger to his house, they already had their hands intertwined, but neither of them realized it. Before leaving, Roger left a kiss in Brian’s cheek. 

They agreed to meet again on Monday, after Roger shift and Brian class at the school. This is really, really something.


	15. Chapter XV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Brian and Roger committed to each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the flashback...

_ (4 years ago) _

A couple’s first year of the relationship is always a special one. They get to know each other, get used to each other and each day are more in love. With Brian and Roger it wasn’t different. After the first date, they usually got out in the evening, after work, sometimes they went out to have dinner and they watch the stars, but the most of the days they went to Brian house. It wasn’t too difficult to convince Roger to go there, he clearly said that it can’t be in his house, though Brian still didn’t want to ask him why. Then he found out it is because he doesn’t even have a couch.

They talked a lot about work. Brian loves to hear Roger tell the stories about Freddie and what their crazy customers do. When he has an afternoon off, he goes to the stall to watch his friend and - now - boyfriend. Roger loves to hear about the kids Brian teaches, about what they do and the very funny things they say.

Roger is thankful that he found someone that shows love and respects him. Brian makes him feel special, smart and free. He never complained about him going out with Freddie some nights, he never made him stay at home with him, he never asked him to stop working or studying because now he has a duty as an omega. He never did to him what his father said an alpha would do. Brian treats him as the person he is. He didn’t even push to have sex and Roger was grateful for it, he only felt ready after some months. He could still be his own person and he was happy for it.

Brian is thankful that he found someone that loves him for what he is. He knows he is boring and says boring things and is always sad. Roger never complained about him staying home Friday night, never asked him twice to go to that party that he is not in the mood to go, never was too clingy and all the things Brian really doesn’t want right now. He thought he would never find someone like this, hell, he thought he would be alone forever.

But nothing is perfect.

Another year was coming to an end. It has been already one year since they met and almost one year since that night of their first date, one year since the day Brian asked Roger to be - officially - his boyfriend. And then Roger realized something was not right.

Since the middle of the year Brian doesn’t have his own classes anymore, having already finished the required subjects to the PhD. In the beginning of their relationship Roger thought it was ok, he too has many things to study and countless exams to take. But now? Brian still acts like he has to go to University everyday and study like hell to pass this subject that the professor is a bitch. 

And it started to bother him. Brian was still refusing to go out with him some nights and only accepted when it was just the two of them, he started being more distant, or it is what Roger is feeling. And he really doesn’t want to give up, he doesn’t want to, some day, tell Brian that they can’t keep doing this, because he loves him, he really does, and he can’t stand having his heart broken.

It is when one day he finds himself at that same coffee shop that he usually goes with Deaky, talking about his feelings to his best friend. He knows he doesn’t have issues with his relationship, really, he and Ronnie are just the perfect couple, but it is a thing he can’t talk with Freddie, it is just a feeling that omegas understand.

“I don’t want to lose him, Deaks, but I feel like I’m going to, and I feel like it is my fault. Maybe I’m not giving him enough attention that he has to be with that stupid notebook every fucking day? Is it better than me? Or maybe he was really expecting me to be…” with that he starts crying, no, he is not thinking about Brian like this, no, he is not like this. “No, he wouldn’t… he is also so… sad, I don’t know”

His friend is looking at him with soft eyes, like he knows what is happening.

“You need to learn what a healthy relationship is, Rog. It is not you putting him before you, it is not you being sad while he is also sad and you not talk to each other about it. It is you sharing things, trusting each other. What you are telling me is that you really don’t know what is happening with him, and if you are telling me you are not telling him. You two are my friends and I can see that you love each other, please, just go and talk to him”

Roger knows it makes sense, but he doesn’t want to talk, he never had a good experience in confrontation like this and what if Brian break up with him? No, he can’t do this.

“I’m going tell you something that it is not my place to tell, but you have to know.” John starts speaking again. “If you think he is putting his studies before you it is because of his father, he always wanted him to succeed and put too much pressure on him. It is not your fault, neither of you, you just need to sort things off.”

He stayed with his friend for some time and drank another two cups of coffee, but eventually he had to leave. He walked and walked until it was already dark and, without letting Brian know, he went to his flat. He thought too much about all this talking thing, but they have to.

The door was open and Brian was in his room, always with his notebook, that Roger supposes has his thesis’ notes. He’s sit in his bed, a bed that he had shared with Roger for many nights in almost one year, that already created good memories. But this time the bed wasn’t witnessing a good scene to turn into a good memory. Brian was crying and it broke Roger’s heart, despite he himself had already cried today. He almost forgot what he wanted to say.

“Bri” he says, standing at the bedroom’s door.

Brian was surprised to see his boyfriend there. He wasn’t having a good day and the last thing he needed was Roger to see him like this. He has been thinking for the last couple of days, he is not a good boyfriend, he is not a good alpha and he is not a good researcher. And he doesn’t know what to do.

“I think we need to talk”

And these words where exactly what he was expecting, because now he would break up with him and he not only disappointed his boyfriend, but he also disappointed his father by not being able to do his thesis. He is such a failure.

“Ok” is the only thing he says while wiping some of his previous tears. 

Roger sits by his side and takes his hand. It is everything that precedes a break up speech. And he starts talking. “I’m not happy, Bri. I love you, but I feel like you are not 100% in this relationship. I know how your PhD is important and I’m here to support you, but I’m your boyfriend and I think I deserve at least a little of your day.”

“You are breaking up with me” he says, holding the tears, he doesn’t have the right to cry. He know he did this and Roger is right, he did put his studies first and god, how he regrets it.

“What? No, I’m not” Roger says, seeming offended. “It’s the opposite. I want us to be completely together. I love you, I don’t want to lose you…” He stops and takes a deep breath. He looks at Brian again, and this time the brunet couldn’t hold his tears. “Ok, I’ll start with what I didn’t tell you before and this is maybe why we are in this situation, well, Deaky told me it is not what a healthy relationship is and I had no idea how to behave…”

“Deaky told you what?” Brian interrupted, he is not understanding what point Roger wants to get.

“Let me finish…” Brian nods. “I do not have contact with my family, expect my sister, because they never loved me. My father kept telling me that no one would ever loved me because I’m not a model of an omega and it would lead me nowhere. He never wanted me to study, to be myself, hell, I even thing he never wanted me to be born in the first place. So when I found you and you let me be myself, I was so happy, because you said you love me and I thought that I really found someone that loved me for who I am. I’m sorry I never told you my insecurities, but now I think that you really don’t love me that much” He gives a sad laugh at the end and all Brian’s fears really became reality.

“God, I’m so sorry, Rog. I love you, I do. I love you so much that it scares me. I love you so much that I don’t even understand. I guess you are right, I don’t know either how a relationship works, I’m so sorry, I understand if you want to leave me…” he doesn’t know how he says it, Roger has been so honest with him, why can’t he be honest back?

“What’s wrong, Bri? Why are you so distant?” He asks back, again.

“I failed, Rog. I spent all this year studying and hoping I would get the… I spent all this year hurting you and I didn’t even…”

“Whaŧ? Bri, please, don’t cry, tell me” And in this moment he feels so defeated, so broken, that he has no other option.

“I did, Rog, I did put the studies before you, but I guess it wasn’t intentional. I never was in a serious relationship like this and I thought nothing would change, but I was wrong and now… I can’t finish the thesis because I need to go to another observatory and I had no idea I had to and they don’t have scholarship to do it right now…”

“If they had the scholarship you would have went?” Roger asks, quietly. 

He nods. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry about, I understand you. And now we are talking, aren’t we? Isn’t it good?” He nods again. “Ok, so from now on we will always do this, ok?”

“Yeah, we will. I love you, Rog, I promise to be better. You deserve so much better than me, you deserve the world, you are perfect” He says without looking at his boyfriend.

“I’m not perfect, but now we can go on with our lives without suffering alone…”

“Do you want to move in with me?” He asks out of blue, he didn’t even thought about it. Are they ready to live together? He doesn’t know, but it is the perfect opportunity for them to be truly together and for him to not drown himself away from the man he loves.

“I think a new house would be better”

“Is that a yes?”

Roger nods and for the first time that night they both smile and turn their heads. When they see, they are kissing, a kiss that means more than that day when Brian asked Roger to be his boyfriend, because this kiss is their true commitment, this kiss is their first true ‘I love you’, this kiss is their realizing they can do much better with each other.


	16. Chapter XVI

_ The bones of your baby’s skeleton are hardening and its muscle tissue continues to develop. It can straighten out more muscles and studier bones in its spine. Its legs, which are still short are growing longer every day. _

_ Baby’s hearing is developing. At the end of the week 15 it may be able to hear your heart beating and your tummy gurgling. It may even be able to detect the muffled sound of your voice. _

Roger laughs as he reads the book about baby’s development. Definitely the baby will have long legs, it is Brian’s, after all, it will be genetic impossible for their baby to have short legs. Ok, he  _ knows _ it is pretty possible, he is short and those genetic things have maths in them, he studied it all, but with this he can pretend he doesn’t know some things. This hearing thing makes him make a mental note to stop swearing that much, he doesn’t want to take the chance with his own baby. 

Since the past weeks working has become easier, he feels much better and his energy level is at 100% - and he has a lot of energy. So it is friday, he spent the whole day walking around the stall with customers and talking a lot, then he and Freddie went to dinner at Deaky’s and he stayed with baby Robert the whole evening, he is growing up so fast, it is unbelievable, and Roger doesn’t feel like he has to sleep for four days. 

So he just sat up in the bed and started reading the book that is now in his headboard. He likes to know what is happening with his baby and despite knowing that each pregnancy is different, it bring some comfort to him, especially that he’ll have another ultrasound soon, he needs to update that picture on the fridge. He thinks he is still not showing that much, but it is kind of normal, this is his first pregnancy, but he wants to ask Dr Jones if he is doing the right things. He was never one to worry that much about his own healthy, but now he will make sure he will bring this baby to the world with the best he can.

Roger is now waiting for Brian to call, it is already past eleven, so maybe Brian did not finish what he had to do today, he said he was working during the day because he writes better when there’s natural light and as it was raining, no observation could’ve been made. But it’s been more than five hours since it is already dark outside, and being autumn, the day is getting shorter and shorter. 

He decided to pick some photo albums to pass the time. Brian likes to take a lot of pictures, it is annoying sometimes, he always has his camera always in his hands and every moment is a good one to take some pictures of him. There’s two albums only with Roger’s photos, he ignores these, he sees himself in the mirror everyday, thank you very much (but Brian loves these albums, he always looks at them and says ‘how beautiful you were this day, no, you are beautiful everyday). He focus on the album that has pictures of them two. Pictures that their friends took of them and pictures that Brian took in the mirror. 

He is in the fifth picture when the phone rings. He doesn’t even let it ring once completely. 

“Hey, I missed you”

Brian laughs in the other side of the line. “ _ Hey you, I missed you too” _

“So, how was your day?” It is just the usual conversation they have every day.

“ _ Good, very productive, actually, but I don’t want to bore you with the details, too much technical information _ ” he laughs again, but Roger would listen to him talking about those boring stuff for hours and hours if he had to, and would not get bored at all.

“You know I wouldn’t, and then maybe I was going to think that you are so sexy being nerd and we would have mind blowing sex afterwards, you know I love it” he teases.

_ “Oh, I love it too” _

“You were doing it till now?”

“ _ Actually, I called mum one hour ago, but she couldn’t stop talking, when I said I wanted to call you because you would be worry with the delay, she started talking about you and how much you love her food everything. It was funny in the end.” _

Roger tenses hearing it. Ruth talked about him? What if she said something about the baby? No, if she did Brian would have talked about it already and he was acting normal. He knows Harold doesn’t want him to know, but what if she said something without thinking? Especially with the all food talking, she is doing it just because of her grandkid, not 100% about him being alone and needing to be proper feed.

“She did?”

“ _ Yes, and she was pretty excited to talk about you, I guess she is adopting you _ ” Brian’s tone is so free and collected, she didn’t say anything she shouldn’t.

“Bri, I… have to tell you something” He stops for some seconds, has him?

“ _ What, babe?” _

“I…” he looks down at the photo album, it is showing a picture of them kissing in the door of the stall, a picture that Freddie took of them, they look so in love, it was in their second anniversary. “I found those photo albums and I was looking at them before you call”

“ _ Which one you were looking at?”  _ Brian asks and Roger still didn’t stop shaking. God, when will have the guts to tell him? Brian deserves to know, but this was his first attempt and he really really want to tell him the words, but why he can’t?

“Hmm, the one that Freddie took of us in the door of the stall” he says, trying to calm down.

“ _ I remember that day, we went to that new japanese restaurant to celebrate our second anniversary” _

“And I didn’t know it and you said you took me there because I mentioned that I love japanese food” he smiles remembering that day and now he really wants to eat japanese food, although he doesn’t know if he can.

_ “What else? I don’t know if I remember the next, but I think it is that trip we made to Scotland in the summer last year?” _

He turns the page. “It is. It was the love’s first trip, she was very excited” he smiles remembering that Brian said he is jealous of the love he has for his car, but he said that he waited for a long time to buy her, he has the rights to love her as much as he can. “We are standing in front of her, we asked the waiter to take the picture for us, he was very friendly”

“ _ I love this picture…” _

“Me too”

They spend the whole night talking about their memories and laughing when remembering that time when Freddie fell off the chair while wanting to take ‘the perfect picture’ of them. The photo ended up blurry and they decided to put it in the album just because. 

That night Roger ended up sleeping with the good thoughts, the failed attempt of breaking the news to Brian forgotten, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Roger...


	17. Chapter XVII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Deaky being a good friend and Roger being himself

For the first time Roger had to lie to Freddie. Well, it is not a lie, it is a half truth. The clinic only had an appointment to Monday morning and as he is an omega that works, it really doesn’t matter because he shouldn’t work, right, he should be at home the whole day doing nothing. So he had to tell his friend that he had a doctor appointment that day and couldn’t go to work. 

It wasn’t a problem if he wasn’t one that went to doctors. He really never saw one since he was a kid and his mum would take him. And his friend knows it. He had to say something like ‘Brian made me’, that is also a lie but is not, because if Brian knew he definitely would make him go to the doctor. Gladly Freddie didn’t insisted, and also said that he should take the day off and that he will go to his house later so he will have company, maybe thinking he was not feeling well. Roger gladly accepted, he would never deny a night with his friend.

But he also didn’t want to go there alone. He thought about calling Ruth, but he is already asking too much of her, he is sure she has other things to do in a Monday morning, she was with him yesterday to deliver some food for the week. He also showed her the barely visible bump, despite almost entering the 17th week. She was excited and told him it is normal, he knows it is, but as he is still not ready to tell everybody that he is, indeed, pregnant, he also wants to have a bump, so why isn’t the baby collaborating with him? The way he is right now, he just feels that he is getting fat and that he ate too much everyday. Why are they so confusing?

He ended up honking in front of Deaky’s house. He still is not working because of the maternity leave and he does nothing all day, only taking care of baby Robert. He is also alone, Ronnie has to work, and he also knows about the pregnancy, so it is perfect.

John, very pissed off about his friend making noises in front of his house in the morning, showed up in the door still in his pajamas, wanting very much to show his middle finger to his friend, really, Roger doesn’t know about a thing called phone?

“What the hell, Rog?” he yelled.

Roger lowers the car’s window. “Have an appointment, come with me” he gives his best puppy face, hoping to convince his friend.

“You could’ve just called, you know?”

“I do, but this way you can’t deny”

“I have a baby”

“Go change your clothes, you know I have a baby car seat here” he winks. John huffs and goes back inside the house, closing the door, without saying another word.

Roger waits another five minutes and he is starting thinking that maybe he did ignored him, it wasn’t going to be a surprise, though. But then he opened the door again, and before going back to close it, he put Robert in the seat. Roger bought it some months ago, he would never miss an opportunity to take his godson for a ride in his car and now it proved to be very useful, as he won’t have to buy a new baby car seat for his own baby.  _ Good choice here, Roger _ .

“So, you, going to see a doctor in a monday morning? You told Freddie?” Deaky saying, sitting in the passenger seat.

“Yeah, I kind of told him a half truth…” He says, passing a hand in his back of his neck, there is no point in lying to John, he already knows it.

“You still didn’t tell him?” He just shakes his head and starts the engine. 

When he parks, John is looking at the building. It is a middle size building, all painted in white, with the red letters with the clinic name. It is a place they could never afford, even with established jobs. 

“Wow, the May’s are really willing to take care of you. If the inside is as good as the outside, you are in heaven” 

Roger just shrugs, he couldn’t deny it, it is a luxury that he can enjoy because it is not only for him, but he feels a little bad about it. They entered the clinic and Deaky kept being mesmerised by the surrounding, baby happily sleeping in his arms. 

“How is Brian, dear?” the secretary asked, he doesn’t know her name, but she is a very nice old lady, so he was very polite with her.

“He is fine, thank you. Working” he smiles as she hums and gives him his papers. He thanks her.

“This chair is more comfortable than my couch” John says, at least he is having fun, Roger thinks.

“Is your back that bad?”

“Oh, you will see, just wait” they both laugh. It indeed was a good thing bring John with him. 

They are distracted when Dr Jones calls his name that she had to do it twice. Roger gets up and when he realizes John didn’t got up with him, he turned around and looked at his friend.

“Aren’t you coming?”

“Do you want me to go in there with you?” he looks up at him, changing Robert’s position in his arms.

“Of course, that’s why you are here!”

“But with the baby?”

“She is a gynecologist, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” They are whispering, but a woman that is sat beside them looks at them, but they chose to ignore her.

“Ok”

John gets up too and they walk to the doctor’s office that is in the end of the hall. 

“Hello, Roger, how are you today?” Dr Jones greets him. John, as he was doing before, was looking around the room, at the fancy chairs, much better that the ones in the reception, then he looks at the ultrasound machine, if they tell him that an ultrasound machine like this exists, he would laugh, because really, it seems like it came from another century, they are much better than the one he did his prenatal.

“Fine, thank you, feeling very hungry lately” he laughs, it is so natural to be around his doctor, he feels amazed at the bond he already created with her.

“That’s normal. So, who is this young man that you brought today?” she asked, looking at baby Robert.

“Oh, that’s Robert, my godson, and John, my best friend. I hope you don’t mind, I didn’t want to be alone” he says, feeling a little embarrassed right now, he should have asked.

“It’s fine, there’s no problem at all, it’s always good to have someone with you and Robert is very cute, congratulations” she says, looking at John, he just smiles his thank you.

“So we got your exams, everything is fine, with both of you. How were you feeling these last weeks?” Dr Jones asks again as he gestures him to lay down.

“Good, but I’m a little worried about my weight, I’m barely showing and I’m almost halfway through it” as he voices his worries, the doctor is putting the cold gel in his belly and turning on the screen. Deaky is sitting by his side, holding his hand.

“The baby has the average size for the beginning of the week 17. It is normal for a first pregnancy, you still don’t know how your body works, but as your vitamins, iron and calcium are in the right level, there’s nothing we can do, just wait and see how the little one will behave” she explains, printing a couple of pictures of the ultrasound.

“Do you want to know the gender?” He shakes his head, he is indeed dying to know if he is going to have a son or a daughter, but first he needs to tell Brian about it, it will be too much secrets to keep. He cleans himself and gladly accepts the pictures. Finally the fridge will have a new picture.

Dr Jones gives him some more advices, telling him to start thinking about the birth plan and everything. He is glad that John is there with him, listening everything and with his experience, he is very helpful. 

When he drops Deaky at his house later that day, he is crying, those damn hormones. “What would I be without you?”


	18. Chapter XVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian has a surprise for Roger

Roger’s morning routine is very boring now. He wakes up and drinks his tea wishing he was drinking coffee, he looks down at this hand and admires his ring, then he looks at the fridge and sees that tiny figure in the ultrasound - that is not that tiny anymore - and then reads the reminder about the week they are in now. Today is week 18. 

But he doesn’t have much time to do it, he is sleeping much more than he used to and the talking with Brian always passes midnight, so he is always late to go to work. Not that Freddie bothers with it, he is always late too and usually in the mornings the movement is less than in the afternoon, so the other two girls that work with them can handle the stall alone for a couple of hours.

Today it was a little different. When he was getting ready to leave, someone knocked at his door. It is weird, usually the only person that goes there is the postman, but he usually goes there in the afternoon when he is not at home. Strangely, when he opened the door no one was there. He looks to both of the sides, the other doors and the stairs, but no sign of a living soul. When he gives a step to the front, his feet touch something. It is a box.

Before putting it inside of the house, he watches it carefully, god knows it could be a bomb or something. He opens it carefully. The first thing he sees is a paper. He picks it up, leans against the door frame and opens it. It is a letter.

_ My dear Roger,  _

_ you can’t imagine how much I miss you. My days are not the same when I can’t wake up to the most beautiful sight ever, your big blue eyes. Hearing your voice every night is the best part of my day and I can’t wait to be with you again, hold you in my arms and kiss you like there’s no tomorrow. _

_ This is a little gift, wear it tonight. _

_ With all my love, _

_ Brian _

Roger smiles. Brian was planning it and didn’t tell him a word last night. He picks the box up to look at the content inside of the flat. God knows what is in it. He laughs. He will be so late to work, but the curiosity took over him.

He opens the first bag, it is a body stocking with long sleeve, red, the most beautiful piece of clothing he ever saw. It is a thing he definitely would use in a sexy night while teasing his boyfriend - fiancé - and he knows it. In the other bag there’s a black lace panties. They fit perfectly together, Roger thinks. He can’t wait to feel them in his skin, lucky they will fit. They know each other’s kinks so well, and wearing special things for special nights is a thing both of them like. 

The last thing left to open is another box, he opens it and there’s another letter. 

_ I know we never use them, but I think it is the perfect opportunity. Hope to use the real thing soon. Love you. _

He used dildos before, he used to have some of them, but threw them out as soon as he and Brian started having sex, it is not a thing he needed anymore. And Brian’s cock is a lot better. But lately, as they are cannot have  _ real _ sex, and he is hornier than ever, credits to the hormones, he’s using only his fingers, and they are not enough, not anymore. 

He can’t wait to the night to come.

God, it’s going to be a very long day.

  
  


When he comes home, he decides to use the bathtub. The last time he used it was that day before Brian left. The memory of them laying there, Roger with his back pressed against Brian’s chest, Brian whispering sweet nothings in his ear, kissing his forehead. Then they passing shampoo in each other’s hair. Roger misses it, he misses their showers together, he misses Brian’s fluffy hair and how it straights when it is wet. This memory is the one he wanted to remember in his head until Brian comes back, because he plans on taking him to the bathtub to the first shower he will have after returning.

But tonight is special. 

He lays there in the hot water, he uses the bath salts that Freddie gifted him the last Christmas, they really make miracles. He thinks the spends a good two hours there, until his stomach began protesting because it’s been almost five hours since he last ate something.

He dries himself and puts the lingerie. They fit perfectly, although now he can see that there’s definitely a baby bump there, very small, but still. He feels sexy and after he admired himself in the mirror, he puts the robe so he won’t die with cold.

He still has some of Ruth’s food in the fridge, with meat, she says it is good for them and only without Brian there he will eat meat. 

The clock seems to be stuck, his cock is already half hard and he thinks he might die if Brian doesn't call soon. Eventually the phone rings, he is in bed, as always, and it rings once before he picks it up.

“Hey”

_ “Hello there”  _ He doesn’t know if it is his already foggy mind, but Brian’s voice is so  _ sexy _ tonight.

“I’m ready”

“ _ That eager?” _

“Please, you were teasing me the whole day. I know you made them deliver it in the morning so I wouldn’t think about anything else the whole day”

“ _ You are right, and it worked”  _ He can hear the smirk in his voice and Roger is already hard.

“Yes… so, what you want me to do?”

“ _ First I’m going to kiss you. I start with your forehead, then your nose, your cheeks, I kiss your lips, slow, I move down to your neck, I spend a good time there, licking and biting”  _ Roger moans, his hand are almost slipping the phone, he really needs to touch himself, but now Brian is in command and… “ _ You are enjoying, aren’t you?” _

He nods, but of course he can’t see. “ _ Use your words, babe” _

“Yes yes, please, touch me”

“ _ And then I move down, I start taking off your top body. Do it, Rog, take it off” _ He does as he is told, as he puts the phone down for a second. “ _ And then I start kissing your chest, going down, and down, and down, slowly” _ Roger moans again, this time louder. He hopes the neighbors won’t mind. “ _ Until I reach the panties… are you with your new panties, Rog?” _

“Yes” he says, breathless, he can almost feel Brian in his skin.

“ _ Good, and then I start taking them off with my teeth, do you like it?”  _ He moans again. “ _ Then take it off” _

He does as he is told, again. He doesn’t take it off completely, the both clothes in his knee. He doesn’t feel cold anymore, the room is hot, his skin is hot, he feels like he will burst with the desire.

“ _ Good. Then I will kiss your thighs… yes, I will skip your cock for now. No, don’t touch yourself yet” _ He says as Roger is about to do it. “ _ I will keep teasing if you don’t collaborate.” _

“I am collaborating”

“ _ Good. Do you want me to eat you out?” _ Brian asks, and he can feel his tongue circling his hole, but he really needs the action.

“No, I want you to fuck me, please, I think I’ll die if you don’t” he begs.

“ _ Ok, do you have lube there?” _

“Yes”

_ “Good, now open yourself, I want to watch you” _

Roger picks the lube and puts a good amount in his fingers. He doesn’t need that much, but he wants Brian to hear it, he would be mad knowing he is doing it roughly. 

“ _ Talk to me, baby, I can hear your moans, but I want to hear your voice too” _

With the way Brian is talking, Roger can tell he is touching himself. It makes him open himself faster. “I am opening myself with two fingers now. Can you see it? I will add the third finger now, ah, I can’t wait to feel you”

“ _ Did you like the little toy? Prep it too, put a condom and lube, I don’t want to hurt you” _

“Yes” He does it, he picks a condom, the last one that is in the drawer, although he thinks he doesn’t need it, he will do as Brian is asking. “I’m ready”

“ _ Ok, so now I will be on top of you, covering your body. I will enter you very slowly, until I’m all in” _ It is indeed painfully slow, as he bottoms the dildo. It is big, one of the biggest he ever used, it almost feels like Brian’s cock.

“Yes, please, move”

They both moan loudly, Roger is fucking himself in the dildo as Brian is wanking himself. Both imagining the scene they were describing early. 

“I’m close, please, can I come?”

“ _ Yes, yes, I’m close too” _

They moan each other’s names as they come together.

High in their orgams, Roger can’t help but say “I love you”

“ _ I love you too” _


	19. Chapter XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't matter to the story, but I'm feeling like shit today, so decided to post this chapter one day early than planned... hope you enjoy xx

It is a quiet day at the stall, as most of the wednesdays are. It is the perfect opportunity to check the stock and put everything in order. Today he is alone, though, the girls had the day off and Freddie was somewhere talking to a stylish to do something, he said everything in the morning, but Roger wasn’t listening.

He had only three customers today and only one of them took about one hour to find the “perfect outfit” as she said. It could be boring, but it is actually one of the things he likes, he has so much fun watching those womens trying the clothes - and he is very persuasive to make them take more than one piece of clothing.

But now he has nothing to do, it’s been about half an hour since the last customer left, he already ate his strawberries without someone - Freddie - asking him why the hell he is eating fruit now, and it is not even that he likes them, he just needs to eat them. Damn, it’s what Brian’s baby is doing to him, he’s eaten more healthy food for the past months than in his entire life. He may have not had the most healthy lifestyle, but he is sure he will be right at the Brian’s side when they kid will throw a tantrum for not wanting to eat broccoli, but they will make them eat it.

God, why is he even thinking about it. Brian doesn’t even know yet that he will be a father in… five months. He was planning on telling him last night (he even had a speech!) but again chickened out in the last minute. Suddenly his speech seemed useless and he had no idea what to say. "Hey, love, guess what? Some weeks after you left to finally follow your dreams I found out that that you got me pregnant, so yeah, we're going to have a baby and I'm only telling you know, so… surprise?". No he can't say it. How will he justify not telling him the first thing after he found out?

He knows that Brian will be happy, he would never not want the baby, but what if he is mad at him? And will fight with him because when he comes home they will have a three months old baby? And then he will kick Roger out and never let him see the baby again… No, his sweet Brian will never do this. 

It's when he starts feeling something strange. He's playing with the button of his jacket, that he never takes off because what if someone realises he is pregnant, and he is almost touching the small bump there.

It is like a cramp, but not so strong, it's like something is pressing just a little from the inside. He starts panicking. What if something is happening? But no, it is probably his mind trying to fool him again, like it just did minutes before with imagining Brian not wanting him anymore. There's no strong cramps, no blood, no weird pains, so everything is fine.

Another hour passes with him feeling this strange thing in his stomach some times, it is not continuous, so in some minutes he even forgets. Freddie finally arrives and with him another customer, a man, he is an omega and Freddie is talking to him like they know each other for years, but Roger knows he is just being his usual self when conquering news customers. 

After he finishes the sale, he looks at Roger, that is staring at him.

"Is everything ok, darling? You seem a little pale."

Freddie worried. Why is he worried? Why is Roger staring at him? He doesn’t know. He tries to think. His brain is not working properly. Is he ok? He doesn’t know either. Many things are in his mind.

"I'm pregnant"

He blurs out. Yes, indeed, his brain is not working. 

"What?" Freddie asks, although not seeming so surprised about the fact that his friend just revealed a life changing news.

"Oh my God" he starts panicking again. "Why did I say that?"

In an instant Freddie is hugging him. He is not crying, but he is a little desperate that he just told him, without planning and without thinking.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Roger looks up at him, questioning eyes.

“Why would I be? I’m happy to have another nephew, but I hope I’ll have a niece this time” Roger smiles at the words, yes, it would be great to have a girl, but the most important thing is that they will be great friends with Robert.

“Thank you, Fred. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before…” They are both sat now, no long worrying about the stall, they are almost closing for the day anyway.

“It’s ok, darling, I was wondering what was happening with you, you are not acting like yourself lately, it couldn’t be just missing Bri”

He sighs louder than he thought. Now his two best friends know, he feels a little better about not having to hide anymore, but still the most important person doesn’t know…

“What?” Freddie asked.

“I guess it’s both, I really miss him too, but the thing is… he kind of doesn’t know yet?” he says, a little shy, he’s really not proud of himself about it. Thankfully Freddie doesn’t say anything, and they stay like this for some time, in silence, appreciating each other’s company.

Of course Freddie said he was going home with him. It is the middle of the week and they have nothing fun to do, only eat and watch TV, but he insisted, saying he shouldn’t be alone. “I can take care of myself”, but it was useless. 

The first thing Roger did was to show him the ultrasound picture that is at the fridge’s door. Freddie’s reaction was exactly the same as months ago when he saw John’s ultrasound picture, it amazes Roger how much he really is excited about his friends babies. 

“She is already big, darling” he says without taking the eyes off the picture. Roger makes some tea, chamomile, if he has to drink it before sleeping, so does Freddie.

“She is, I’m not that much” he laughs, he took the jacket off, he hates the winter, but the heater is on and the flat is so hot that it seems summer - just the way he likes it. 

Freddie looks down at the very small bump, it is beginning to be more noticeable now, and if it was summer, it would be very difficult to hide it. “Don’t worry, you still have a plenty of time to complain about it”

He laughs, knowing it is the truth. He is about to take a sip in his still hot tea when he feels it again. The weird feeling is his belly. He looks at Freddie, then at the cup of tea in his hand, then at the ‘Week 19’ in the fridge. 

“Rog?”

He looks at the ‘Week 19’ in the fridge, then at the cup of tea is his hand, then at Freddie.

“Oh…” now everything makes sense. How didn’t he realize it before? “It’s the baby” he says outloud and Freddie is still not understanding what is happening.

“I can feel the baby… it’s still something like bubbles, but it is the baby… I was feeling it early today and now… wow, it is real…” Now he is crying, but he is happy, he is finally able to feel his own baby and it will only become even more real for now on.

He hugs his friend again, the tea long forgotten. It is good to have someone with him, it is exactly what he needs right now.


	20. Chapter XX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of miscarriage

At first he didn't want a party. These things don't even exist. So why celebrate the mark of the half of the pregnancy? He can't see a motive to celebrate as he is getting bigger every day, and knows it will only get worse, he is running out of air for just walking and he is getting too hot to stand his own standard of warmth, counting with the fact that he still doesn't want to announce his pregnancy to the world - world means the customers and that lady in the restaurant that he eats pancakes every day. 

But of course his friends don’t care. It’s Friday night, they are all free and, above all the things, they don’t want him to be alone. Since he told Freddie last week it has been the exactly way he imagined, now he can do nothing. And he also can’t argue because Freddie will make him take a break in the middle of the shift and sit down every half hour. He always says he is fine, but deep down he appreciates his friend’s concern. 

It’s not their usual party, tho. They are doing it at Deaky and Ronnie, so no loud music because of baby Robert. Also no alcoholic drink are allowed, only tea and orange juice. It’s very different from what they are used to do on Friday night, they can’t even call it a party, it is just two couple of friends plus Roger hanging out and laughing and telling stories and playing scrabble.

They started, of course, with Jim telling them about the new cat that Freddie brought home and only told him after five days, when he realized that the cat food was running out too soon - and they had agreed to not have more cats! But in the end he agreed because he’s also a big softy when it comes to  _ their _ babies. Freddie said he doesn’t regret a thing and he would do it again. They know he will.

They are all sitting in the floor by the coffee table, that is occupied with their game. Freddie and Jim are sat in the opposite side of the couch, John and Veronica are sat in front of the couch, with John lazily with his head in his wife’s shoulder - they all know they are not married yet, but they all treat them like a married couple, they are so domestic and everything - and Roger is sat near the armchair, with Robert in his arms, sleeping.

The baby was not bothered at all with all the noise they are making, because it’s never calm to play scrabble with Freddie, and Roger also gets agitated with a game. Although it’s not the same without Brian and Roger is a little sad that he's there alone, his friends with their respective ones and he was there, holding a baby in his arms to keep his hormones quiet for a bit, he wanted Brian there to make jokes and to hold his hand like Jim and Freddie are doing or to use him as pillow as John is doing with Ronnie. And also because Brian always beats them all at scrabble. He is the king of scrabble and playing it without its champion is not same. 

"I wish Brian was here" he says out loud, hoping that he is not the only one thinking about it. 

"He will call soon, won't he?" Deaky asked.

“Yeah, yesterday I asked him to call here… no, Deaky, don’t say a word” his friend is giving him that look.

“You should tell him soon, Rog, we all know, why not tell him?” He asks as if it is the most simple thing in the world. Probably it is, after all they are all here to celebrate it and it’s also not fair to their friends to keep asking them to not say a word. Well, but today won’t be the day.

“Ok, Deaky, darling, it is your turn” Freddie says before Roger could reply, it’s probably for the best to drop this subject. “We wish Bri was here too, but it is good to have a chance to win this shit”

They all laugh because it is always Freddie who complains about Brian not giving them a chance, once he even forbade him to play, it was fun to watch them fight. After, they order some pizza as Roger was dying to eat something different and not healthy. 

They chat some more, John had to physically take Robert from Roger because he wouldn’t let him go, he fed him when he woke up crying and even changed his diaper, his first time doing it, and he is proud of himself for nailing it, no need to do those stupid class alone. He complained to be left alone, but it was getting late and “I don’t want to spoil him, Rog” so he had to be put to sleep in his crib.

When the phone rang, he quickly got up, surprising Freddie with his still speed and agility, John apologises to his wife about the using of their phone, but she doesn’t care, she would do the same thing if it were them.

“Hey love” he says quickly.

“ _ Hey baby, how are you today?” _

“I’m good, having a fun night with the guys… Wait” Freddie is standing right beside him. “What do you want, Fred?” he asks, annoyed that he couldn’t exchange two words with his fiance.

“I want to talk to him” Freddie says, not asking if he can.

“ _ What Freddie wants?”  _ Brian, who couldn’t listen very well because Roger put the phone a little away, knows that tonight they won’t have their usual talk.

“He wants to talk to you” Roger answers, a little annoyed.

“ _ It’s fine” _

He passes the phone to his friend. “Here, enjoy”

“Hello darling, how are you? We are all missing you”

“ _ I’m good, Fred, a little tired, but good. I miss you all too, can’t wait to beat you on scrabble again” _

Roger laughs, he is glued to Freddie’s back to hear what they are talking.

“Oh, you will be a doctor, you are crazy if you think you will never play scrabble with us again” 

This time Roger hears Brian laughing, and it is so good to hear it. He smiles, it is good to see the interaction between them, if it was not for Freddie he would never meet Brian, he makes a mental note to thank him again.

“ _ So, are you taking proper care of Roger?” _

“Of course…” he doesn’t have the opportunity to finish because Roger took the phone.

“He can’t even take care of himself, you should ask Jim… Oh, do you want to talk to Deaky?” Roger asks, as he already talked with Freddie, it’s only fair for him to talk with the house owner.

“ _ Of course, you’ll let me?” _ Brian teases.

“Ha ha, very funny… Deaky, come and talk to Bri” He shouts out without taking the phone off his ears. “Here, Deaks, be nice to him” 

“Hey Bri”

“ _ Hi Deaky, how are you?” _

He looks at Roger before replying. He never pressure Roger into anything, but he knows how good it is to have your partner by your side and the blond really needs more than the usual ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’. “Good, having to handle Roger all by myself is not easy”

“ _ I know you are doing a good job. How’s Robert?” _

“Sleeping, he’s sleeping through the night now, so it’s easier”

“ _ I bet you won at scrabble today” _

“You are right” he laughs “Especially because Roger was with Robert the whole evening…”

Before the conversation could escalate more to a patch that Roger really doesn’t want to talk about, he does the same as he did with Freddie and cut their conversations short.

“Good, you already talked to them” 

They talked for about more twenty minutes, before Brian rushed him to go and stay with their friends. He realized that since he left Roger was more at home than before, and when he finally leaves their flat to spend the night with them, the last thing he wants is to bother.

When they hang up and Roger turns around to go back to the living room, he feel his back hurting a little because he was standing all the time. 

“Rog, are you ok?” Ronnie asks, with a worried expression in his face. The others also looks at her, not understanding why she is asking it.

“Yeah, why?”

“Because there’s blood in your trousers” she says with a shaky voice.

Roger looks down, he hadn’t realized it, his back pain is not back pain from not sit down. He tries not to panic, to think about what he can do, to think what he did to cause it…

“Let’s go, Rog, we’ll take you to the hospital” it’s Jim, because Freddie is probably freaking out.

“No, not the hospital, the clinic” he says, yes, it’s the best choice, the clinic, there they already know everything about them, they have their exams and they will provide the best treatment…

“I’ll take him” John says.

“No, you have Robert, stay, we’ll take care of him”, it’s still Jim who’s talking. Roger is not looking at them, he’s just looking down… the probability of an miscarriage are very low now, but the baby can’t survive yet....

“I think it’s best for me to be there with him, you know…”

He feels an arm around him, taking him to the door.

“Go, and call me when you have news”, it’s Veronica.

He’s still not feeling so much pain, just a nuisance in his back, but still it’s never a good sign. He’s already outside and before getting in the car, it’s his car, he can tell, he looks up at the sky. It’s cold, but the stars are bright in the sky, and he thinks that these are the same stars Brian are looking at right now.

He hopes to not disappoint them. And him.


	21. Chapter XXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mentions of miscarriage. 
> 
> (This is an AU and all the medical procedures and terms also do not match reality, just to make sure that nobody will hate me because of it)

“Oh God”

“Easy, Rog, we are almost there”

John’s voice is calm, he wants to ask him to keep talking, because it’s the only thing grounding him to the Earth. There’s blood in his hand and in the seat, he normally would be freaking out if the loved leather seat is stained, but now he doesn’t care. Since he sat down in the car he started feeling something like cramps, and every time he felt them, more blood was coming out.

He could only cry, thinking about what he could be losing. He’s stuck in his mind trying to calm himself down, but the 20 minutes ride from Deaky house to the clinic feel like eternity. 

He breathes in and out, five times.

“I was already feeling them… feeling them move… do you remember the feeling? Of the first time?” He asks his friend with a small voice, if they weren’t so close he probably wouldn’t hear.

John takes his hand, not caring that his own will be dirty of blood too. “I do. And you will still feel it for some time. If your baby is half a fighter as you are, they will be ok.”

He’s not so sure. He’s hearing already in his mind they telling him ‘I’m sorry but there’s no heartbeat’, and it’s unbearable because he loves the sound of his baby’s heartbeat. He thinks about the procedure he will have to do after, and fuck him for knowing this, because he wish he didn’t understand so much about the human body. And Brian? What will he tell him? That he took so long to tell him that he was going to be a father and then lost the baby? Or not tell anything and act like nothing happened? What if in the future they decide to have another baby and they can’t, and then he will have to tell Brian that he knew all the time that he couldn’t keep a baby and gave him false hopes? He can’t admit that he is fraud as an omega, he won’t even be able to give Brian a family.

He only realizes they arrived at the clinic when John opened the door for him. He’s a little relieved, but definitely not ready to face his destiny.

“I don’t think I can walk…” he says, still crying. 

“Ok, stay here, I will call someone to help” 

He wants to say no, that he doesn't want to be alone, but this is why they are here. Quickly a team with three people were running to the car, with John explaining everything to a woman, that he thinks is a doctor. He wonders if Dr Jones is there, he hopes she is, it would be nice to see a familiar face. Someone guides him to a stretcher, other person is checking his vitals, his blood pressure and then injecting something in a vein in his arm. They don’t ask him anything, probably John said he isn’t in a condition to speak, he’s right. 

The dark of the night outside is replaced by the whiteness of the clinic’s ceiling. It’s quiet, very different from an emergency room. The only voices are those from the people working there, they were talking, but Roger couldn’t understand. 

Soon they are in a room. It’s big, from what he can tell. Before moving him to a bed they change his clothes and put him in a robe. They check to see if the bleeding stopped, he can hear that it did. It’s a relief, but probably it’s just the medicine they gave him before.

He and John are left alone there. Now, in the bed, he can see the surroundings. The room has an ultrasound and some other machines, it’s indeed big, there’s a couch and a chair. John is standing right beside him, not sure what to do, they told him that the doctor will arrive soon, in a minute.

Roger avoids touching himself. His hands are still dirty, despite that nurses already took care of the rest of his body, that now looks like he’s been in a hospital to just a check up. Deaky sees that he’s looking at his hand and handle him the tissue paper that is in a table near the chair. 

Before he could thank his friend, a man entered the room. He’s tall, a little chubby, grey hair and unshaved, he’s an alpha that has presence, but has also a calming aurea. 

“Hello, Mr Taylor, I’m doctor Andersen, how are you feeling right now?”

He says, and Roger remembers that time when Mr May said that it was his clinic. Is be being treated by the clinics owner?

“Weak” he manages to say.

“He was bleeding a lot in the car and was complaining of cramps, but now I think he’s not feeling it anymore” John says in behalf of his friend. Dr Andersen nods.

“Ok, let’s see” he turns on the ultrasound and Roger breath is caught in his throat, he’s not feeling pain anymore, but he’s scared, now is the time of the truth and he doesn’t know if he wants to know. He’s more scared now than he was that first time when he went to confirm if he was pregnant, because that time, if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be sad, he would keep living his life until Brian returned and then they could discuss having a family. But now? He already has little things for the baby, he already saw them, felt them, talked to them, he already loves them, they are real, and he knows he will never be the same if he lose them.

The cold gel brings him to the present again. Then the doctor moves it. He feels John holding his hand, he hold it tighter. And then…

“There it is” the heartbeat, strong as always. He cries, but this time he’s happy. His baby is fine, is alive, there is his little miracle, still perfect. “We’ll keep you here for a day just to make sure everything will stay like this. I’ll put the heart monitor, ok? It will be a little annoying, but is necessary”

“It’s not annoying” he says, he’s still feeling weak, but now he is relieved. He’s glad at least it’s not  _ his _ heartbeat, he likes to hear the steady beat of  _ someone _ else’s. Doctor Andersen does some more exams, but Roger is not really paying attention, just doing what he asks him to do. 

“The most detailed exams Doctor Jones will do in the morning, I think you would be more comfortable with her. If anything happens, just press this button here and someone will come and check on you” he smiles at him. He seems like a nice person, those that you drink a wine with and talk about everything without fighting.

“Thank you” he mutters and John thanks him too.

“Harold explicit told me to give the best care to his son’s omega, Brian is very special to us” he says before leaving the two alone in the room. The heartbeat filling the silence, Roger loves these moments with John, they stay in a comfortable silence, supporting each other without words. He wants to hug his friend, thank him for everything he did to him, he left his own son at home just to take care of him, but he is exhausted.

Before he lets sleep take over him, he thinks about the words Dr Andersen told him. ‘Brian is very special to us’. And indeed, everyone there seem to love him. He knows that he was born there, but many were born there too, and they are all from very wealthy family, so Mr May does not have this privilege. Brian never mentioned this doctor, this clinic or anything similar, so it has something to do with his birth. He wanted to know why he’s being treated like someone that is more special than the others, because he’s sure Dr Andersen does not usually goes there to see the emergencies during the night...


	22. Chapter XXII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I'm late, but I couldn't finish this chapter the way I wanted... hope you like it..

When he next woke up, he didn’t know exactly where he was, everything was foggy and he had a slight headache. It was just when he heard  _ that _ sound that everything made sense. He’s at the clinic, in a room, and he almost lost his baby yesterday. For the first time since the scare he put his hand down to touch the belly, he can feel the baby move now, which brings a double sense of comfort.

He looks at the window, he’s in the ground floor because he can see a tree (and no, he doesn't know the fucking name of it, Freddie always asks him and he has to say that yes, he is a biologist but he doesn't know those things, of course he keeps asking just to tease him) and a playground, there's a light rain and the weather does not seems nice. He's happy, though.

Then he looks at the couch, the comfortable couch that he could use as a bed with no problem, but the figure he sees there is very different from the one he saw before sleeping…

"Oh darling, thank God you are awake, I was worried."

“Hey Fred” he says, his voice a little hoarse from the sleep. “Did I sleep that much?”

“I think so, it’s afternoon already” Freddie says helping him to sit up. They stay in silence for a while, Roger thinks when someone will come in to check on him, he doesn’t know if he should tell them that he is awake. The silence is strange with Freddie, they are always making some noise, don’t matter the place, time or situations they are in.

“Rog, dear…” he starts, but suddenly stops, as if he regretted saying in. Maybe something happened while he was sleeping… something with John? No, he’s probably at home, he has a baby to take care of.

“What happened, Freddie?” he asks, taking another look to the heart monitor just to make sure.

“Brian called?” 

“WHAT?”

Why the hell Brian would call in the morning? He never called in the morning, it was usually the hour of the day he was sleeping, and if he will call in other hours he will tell him the day before and he doesn’t remember Brian saying it last night.

“First he called your flat, but no one answered, so he called to Deaky’s house, thinking that you stayed there… Ronnie answered because she was the only there… me and Jim left to pick you some clothes and then we came here…” he stops a little to add a drama, as if it wasn’t dramatic enough… something  _ bad _ had happened yesterday and now this. “When Jim took John home Ronnie told him, that’s how I know….”

“Ok, but what did Brian wanted? What did she told him? She told him I’m in the hospital? She told him about the baby?” he asks without pauses, he really fucking wants to know what Brian wanted and what he knows now… for what he can imagine Brian could be in a plane right now… he wishes he was, but at the same time he doesn’t…

“She said that you sprained your ankle… and he has some weird stuff to do tonight and wouldn’t be able to call, but knowing him he will to make sure you are alive, not that he doesn’t trust her… at the end she even put Robert on the phone in order for him not to freak out”

“Oh, thank god, no one died” he doesn’t know why he said it, but he is relieved that his friend lied for him and also that Brian just has ‘some weird stuff to do’.

He was thinking about it for the next hour. Jim brought him some food, he was tired and Roger loves how he does absolutely everything Freddie asks him to do, they are the relationship goals. And then Doctor Jones arrived.

He was relieved that it was her that time, not that he didn’t liked Doctor Andersen, but having his own doctor is much better. She said he was free to go, but he would have to be in absolute rest for the next couple of weeks and then go back there, but if anything happen, he can just go as an emergency.

To say he was annoyed was an understatement. He won’t be able to work, not even to do his walks at the park, he hates being at the flat without Brian, it doesn’t feel home. But the worse is that Freddie won’t let him be alone.

“We’ll take care of him” he said to Dr Jones, and he knows he will, but fuck, why this has to happen to him? Now he has to deal with his own insecurities, his friends on him all the time and a worried Brian in other country that has no idea what is happening. Just great. 

When Jim took them home, it was already dark outside, not a surprise, considering it’s almost winter… he lost his entire Saturday there. Amazing.

“Here we go” Freddie helps him walking up the stairs.

“It’s fine, Fred, I now how to walk” he says, annoyed since when he learned that he’s grounded.

“I know, but you can’t, what you can do is rest and worry just about growing my nephew or niece, ok?”

When they get in the flat, another surprise to his already full day.

“Ruth?” he asks when spots his mother in law in the kitchen, making dinner.

“Oh, dear, here you are” she leaves the pans and goes to the other room to hug him. She smiles at Freddie.

“You knew?” Freddie nods. “I can’t believe…”

“Who better than then grandma to take care of you?” 

Even better, yes, now he has Ruth over him too. But it’s probably what would happen either way, Freddie has the stall to run by himself, as he won’t be able to work, and if he needs the absolute rest it won’t be a good idea to spend the day with John and Robert, so Ruth is the best option for him.

Roger eats in silence, Freddie and Ruth making the talk. They know each other for a while, they told him that they used to invite Freddie for dinner when they were studying, because Freddie wasn’t in good terms with his parents and Ruth ‘adopted’ him. Roger thinks it’s cute and makes sense why he called her to tell about what happened, she has a big heart and Roger appreciates it, as it’s also been years since he last talked to his mother.

While was getting late, Freddie reluctantly left just after Ruth telling him she would call and Roger rolling his eyes. Of course he didn’t left before Roger was in bed. John had just called to say he would go there the next day and everything was fine.

“Do you think Brian will call tonight?” He asked Ruth. She was in the other room - the room he soon will have to turn into a nursery - making the bed. She immediately went there to see what he needs.

“He called me today. He was very worried, he has a important meeting tonight with his professor, he wanted to postpone, but I told him that I would take care of you” she explained.

“I already miss talking to him… If he is already worried thinking that it was just my ankle, imagine if he knew the truth…” he sighs, knowing it’s not fair, but at the same time relieved that Brian did not went through this stress. “I was so scared, I don’t want him to feel it too, I want him only to be happy…”

Ruth looks at him with an unreadable expression. She sat down on bed, in front of him.

"You know, Rog, I know the feeling you had yesterday very well… it's a thing that I didn't even told to my son, but…" she stops for a second, as choosing her words. "Before Brian was born, me and Harold… we tried four times to have a baby… I had four spontaneous miscarriages, one almost at the half mark, the others before the third month… and they treated me the five times, the fifth time everything went so well, but we were there almost every week because we were so scared… I spent the whole pregnancy worrying that I would do something wrong and I would lose this baby too… but in the end my sweet little boy Brian was born and since the day one I knew he was going to be special… he's a miracle" she says and by the end of the monologue she is crying.

"Ruth?" Roger asks quietly some minutes later, enough time for her to wipe away the tears.

"Yes, dear?"

"That's why everyone likes Brian there at the clinic?" he had already forgotten about it, but something in her voice made him think about it.

"That, and also… I think he doesn't remember, he was just five years old, but God, he was so excited to have a sibling, and I had already forgotten all the troubles I had before… and that was my mistake… it was the seventh month when one day I couldn't feel her move anymore… Harold took me to the clinic but we had to take Brian with us, and of course he was understanding what was happening because he was always so smart… when we got there, we left him with some nurses and then we got the news that the baby… and Bri was crying so much, and I was crying too and all the staff had to take care of me and him…"

He asked Ruth to come closer and hugged her. Brian never told him about having a sibling so probably he blocked it. The seemly perfect life he and his parents have as a family is not that easy… Sometime he complained about not having someone to grow up with and told him how lucky he is to have Claire, but the thing is, it’s a miracle he is here.

He doesn’t know how, but he now loves Brian more and he had no idea it would be possible. Before falling asleep, he put a hand in his belly and thought that they too are having their miracle, but he’ll do anything to, in some years, give their first child a brother or sister. Brian will want it to. 


	23. Chapter XXIII

Roger never liked to be told what to do. He has always been a rebel, trying to push the limits to see where he could go. It was never easy, but he always kept being like this, he found himself in a position he knew he would be, had imagined a million times, but wasn’t ready to: to live by his own. But even there he did what he wanted, not caring for what the others were thinking.

Even the date with Brian he took the first step. He  _ demanded _ Freddie to set up a date with him, because he needed to get to know him better and to hear his voice talking right to him. It ended up being much better than he thought, because they actually started dating and Brian has always respected him. Well, the only thing Brian wanted him to do was to stop smoking, but he never heard him, it helps with the anxiety.

The only time he likes to give up control are in bed. He’s very demanding, yes, but he also loves to see the dominant side of his boyfriend, it’s fucking hot and sexy, so he loves to be told what to do when they are having sex.

But now? Now he  _ has to _ do everything  _ other person  _ wants him to do. And he likes it!

Giving up smoking and drinking alcohol was easier than he thought. He doesn’t feel the withdraw at all and wants to eat healthy foods. This is the good part, the part he enjoys doing. But then he had to just stay in bed. For two weeks.

In the second day he was blaming Brian. Because, really, he had the audacity to get him pregnant and not be with him… it would be much better to have him in bed with him, just the two of them, without Ruth, John, Freddie, Jim or Veronica going in and out his flat every-fucking-hour.

The next day he wasn’t blaming no one, it wasn’t nobody’s fault. These things happen and he’s not the first and won’t be the last person to stay in bed rest during a pregnancy. 

Still it was boring as hell.

Now it’s been one week, just another one to go. In two will be Christmas and he has no plan, he just wants to return to the clinic and be free to go back to work and his daily walks at the park. He doesn’t know if he will do a Christmas shopping, but he should buy something to send to Brian and he definitely should start buying things for the baby. A crib, clothes, diapers, pacifier, everything.

But again, what will he do on Christmas? Usually it’s just him and Brian in Christmas Eve, in the morning they go to Brian’s parents and then Roger drives them somewhere, to enjoy the day together. But now Freddie will probably go to Jim’s parents, John and Veronica have their family now and probably will want to start a tradition with Robert. He doesn’t want to show up to the May’s or worse, to have Ruth going to his flat. The only thing he can think about is…

“ _ Hello?” _ Roger didn’t even realized he had caught the phone and dialed the number. He was thinking about Christmas and then to what Ruth told him about Brian wanting to have a sibling, that he was surprised to hear Claire’s voice in the other side.

“Hi sis” he says, smiling.

“ _ Roggie? Oh my God, I missed you so much” _

“I miss you too, sis, but you could’ve called too”

“ _ I know, but you know how it is, with Uni and everything” _

“I know”

They stay in silence of a while.

“So, will you go home for Christmas?” he asks.

“ _ Probably, why? _ ”

“I was thinking… don’t you want to come here? It’s just, it’s been a while since we spent Christmas together, and Brian is not here and you also don’t have a boyfriend… as far as I know… do you?” he asks in that big brother voice tone, joking, but not that much.

“ _ No I don’t have a boyfriend, don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know” _ she laughs and it makes Roger think… he should have told her before, many weeks before, she should be the first to know…

“Claire?”

“ _ Yes?” _

“I’m pregnant”

Silence.

“ _ How?” _

“You know how” he says, already a little impatient.

“ _ I know, but Brian left like, five months ago, didn’t he?” _

“Yes” he knows what she’s thinking, but he will let her finish her thoughts, not in the mood to, right at the start, say that he’s been hiding his pregnancy for exactly five months.

“ _ So how are you pregnant now? Please, don’t tell me he went there just to…” _

“No… I guess… I am five months pregnant?” 

“ _ You are unbelievable, you know that… but wow, I can’t believe I will be an auntie, I guess I will have to change my Christmas gift” _

“What? Hell no, the baby is an addition, I’m still a person”

“ _ Of course not, you are no longer important” _

She teases, but when Roger was going to reply, someone knocked at the door. Ruth was with him, but she had just went out to buy ingredients for the dinner.

“Someone’s knocking, I guess I should answer.. talk to you later?” he must update her to everything that happened for the past months.

“ _ Sure, bye” _

He gets up, carefully, like he’s doing in the last week. The knock at the door happened only once and he’s already starting to get pissed if he hung up the phone in the middle of talking with his sister and got up to have no one in the door.

When he opened it at first he felt cold, wishing he had put the jumper that is beside his bed, but also as a reaction to protect the baby.

“Mum?”

He wasn’t expecting to contact his entire family today. He doesn’t see his mother since the day he left home, all those years ago. He never went back and she is too devoted to Michael to go and visit him. So what is she doing there today, almost seven years later, in the worst moment ever? How does she know where he lives?

“Come in” She didn’t reply, so he is obliged to invite her in. It’s not that he doesn’t love her, he does, but she made a choice and she didn’t chose him. Now he’s happy, has a fiance, friends, his mother in law is taking care of him, he’ll have a baby in a few months… he just wanted to talk to his sister, not to be thrown back to his blood family.

“You are looking good, Rog” she spoke for the first time. They are now sat in the couch, in other situation he would be standing, with his arms crossed and tapping his right foot, waiting for her to explain why she showed up today and ask all the question. He’s not in the mood today.

“Thanks, mum, you too.” They stay in silence for a while. He could’ve offered some tea, but he’s not allowed in the kitchen. “What are you doing here?” he finally asks.

“I have some news… but I guess you have too” she says, looking at his son. 

“You first”

“I left your father…” she stops, still looking at him. He doesn’t know how to react, he wanted this for so long. “And I also met someone…. actually, hm, he lives here in London, so I will move in with him”

“It’s great, mum, I’m happy for you” he replied, sincerely.

She moves closer to him to stay in a position that she could grab his hand, but still she didn’t. “Claire told me where you live, I hope you are not mad....”

“I’m not”

“Is your boyfriend home?” she asks. She never met Brian and Roger never thought about the possibility of they meeting, Brian asked sometimes, but he said he’s rather not introduce him to the mess he grew up with.

“Didn’t Claire tell you? Brian is abroad finishing his PhD and… he’s my fiance now.” He shows her the ring.

“She did, but… you are pregnant didn’t he come back?” he doesn’t answer this. “What kind of father is he? Roger, I told you to find someone better than  _ him _ .”

What? “He is not like this, he is the most incredible man that there’s on the universe, he’s kind, he’s honest, and most important, he loves me and threats me better than any of you did. We are in this together and you should respect him”

He feels the urge to keep talking and talking to defend Brian. He knows his mum doesn’t know the whole story, but still…

“It seems like you really love him” 

“I do, and I’m happy with him, mum, I really am”

When he says it, she finally reaches out and hugs him. He lets her. He doesn’t cry, as he thought he would, but it’s the most comfortable hug he had in months. It’s good to have Ruth, she’s more of a reminder of Brian, that he truly misses, but his own mother is different.

He hopes that now, with her, things will be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Christmas! I know we are in the middle of the year, but here where I live is winter so... why not?


	24. Chapter XXIV

Roger thought it would be worse. After the scare three weeks ago, his friends being over him all the time and Doctor Jones clearing him from the bed rest last week, he decided not to push too much until the next year… that is right at the corner. 

For the past week he just got out to buy things for the Christmas, Claire will be with him in the Christmas Eve and then he will spend the day with John. He threaten him saying that it is unbelievable he won’t spend Robert’s first Christmas with him, his own godfather. He can’t say no.

So the first thing he did was baby shopping. He never had a clue to what buy to a child, but for Robert he bought a very cute book, that he’ll make sure to read for him, it’s a thing Brian would probably do, but for now he will have to do the job of them both. 

Then he went to buy things for his own baby. Harold had offered to pay for all the stuff, but he denied, he’s already paying for the prenatal and then the birth, Roger can very well buy the other things. He bought a lot of clothes, like a lot. The baby will be born in spring, but it’s never too much. The baby will also grow up very fast, so it’s better to already have clothes for when they’ll be a little older, God knows if he will have time to go out and do the shopping when the baby’s here. He also bought crib sheets, bedding sets, a changing pad, more blankets, a very cute elephant security blanket, bibs and some diapers. He knows he’ll have to buy more things and also the furniture, but it’s already a start.

The day to buy the gifts to the adults was way worse. And to think that last year he was nailing on the gifts and now he has only baby stuff in his mind. For his sister he bought a bracelet, she loves those things and when they were little they used to make them; for Deaky and Ronnie he bought a massager, good thing for parents; for Freddie and Jim he bought a match sweater with ‘I love you more than I love cats’, and it’s 100% them; for Ruth and Harold he bought a Little Richard vinyl, he remembered Brian saying once that they love to hear his songs, and it’s the first time  _ he _ bought a gift to them, it’s always Brian, he’s their son; to his own mother he wrote a letter. For Brian he bought a record player, some discs that they don’t have at home and sent to him, hoping that it will arrive in time for the Christmas day.

His sister arrived early on Christmas Eve, it’s been a while since they last saw each other, so the in the first hours they just chatted and updated each other on what’s going on on their lives. Claire told everything about school and her new job, Roger told her about the decision they made for Brian to spend a year abroad finishing his thesis and the worst timing ever to have a baby. She went mad when he said he didn’t tell Brian yet. Eventually she forgave him because she thinks her brother looks so cute that she can’t be mad at him for too long.

She made them dinner, but as neither of them are good in the kitchen, they ended up eating a very simple roast turkey with hot chocolate, that is not very traditional, but it’s what they got for this year. For the next year, Roger hopes to start a tradition with his family, maybe with the whole family, Brian’s parents, his sister and mother, even his mother’s new boyfriend, and their child. A big family with big celebrations.

They exchanged gifts before Claire left, she wanted to play the Santa Claus to their mother, and Roger wanted some privacy to talk to Brian. He said that he would call after dinner, that they organized to everyone there. She gave him a shirt with ‘best dad ever’ and a baby shirt with ‘I love my auntie’ and said “I told you the gift wasn’t for you”.

When Brian called he was already ready to go to bed, he literally eat for two, the heater was on and he had three blankets.

“ _ Merry christmas, love _ ”

“Merry christmas, did you like the gift?” Roger was excited to know if Brian received the gift.

“ _ I did, but you didn’t have to buy me anything, talking to you everyday is already a very good gift” _

“Of course, not, you deserve a little distraction, is there’s nothing better than music. I want you back with your mental health, not a mess, so you must have some fun” he says, half joking and half serious, Brian really need something else there, especially that he has still half a year to be confined in a room with his thesis, alone.

“ _ I don’t deserve you… I’m sorry I didn’t buy you any gift but… _ ” Roger hears Brian picking some paper. “ _ I wrote you a song” _

“A song? God, you are the best fiance in the world” He loves when he writes songs, it’s his hidden talent.

“ _ Before I start, I want you to know that I love you, I’m sorry I’m not there with you, I know you love Christmas, but I think about you everyday, every hour, every second.” _

And he starts singing. Roger doesn’t know if it’s the hormones or the lyrics, but he’s crying. Brian’s voice is the thing he loves the most in the world, he could spend everyday of his life listening to him singing.

It’s their thing, write songs. He does it sometimes too, it’s their way to write a love letter, to say what they are feeling when they don’t have words to describe or just don’t want to talk. Now with the distance, with everything so cloudy and uncertain, with they missing the touch, the company, the routine, the song is what will keep them together. He makes a mental note to when he will be able to be behind a drum kit he will think about a beat.

_ This room is bare _

_ This night is cold _

_ We're far apart, and I'm growing old _

_ But while we live _

_ We'll meet again _

_ So then, my love _

_ We may whisper once more _

_ It's you I adore _

It’s when he feels something. Something different. Something he never felt before. Something he’s been waiting for. This time he wasn't freaking out. This time he knew exactly what it was. It’s been some weeks since he’s been feeling the baby move, but it was just small movements, like bubbles. Now it’s even more real, because it is visible. He was wondering if it will hurt, and maybe when the baby is bigger it will, but now it is good. Now he is hearing the most amazing voice in the world with his hand on his belly, feeling the movements of their baby.

It is perfect.

He wants to share, to tell Brian that he is feeling like he is the most happy person in the world, but it is not the time. Although he can tell him he is happy, because he is. Maybe it is the Christmas spirit.

“ _ Are you ok? _ ” Brian asks after he finished.

“Since the last time I kissed you I’ve never been better”

After talking to Brian for more than two hours, it’s almost dawn and he’s sure he won’t wake up in time to arrive at Deaky’s when he promised. But he has a good excuse.

“Did you hear it? It’s your daddy’s voice” he seems like a crazy person, but he doesn’t care, it is good to talk to the baby, it is scientifically proven! “You liked it, didn’t you? He loves you so much, I know it, and I love you too, you are so loved already, I can’t wait to meet you”

This Christmas is being one of the best he ever had.


	25. Chapter XXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter, but very sweet

New Year always meant party.

He never thought this year they would be all at his flat, eating homemade pizza, trying to put a four months old baby to sleep and with Freddie on him all the time trying to feel  _ his _ baby movements. 

“It’s just small kicks, Fred, you won’t feel much, way a few weeks” but it was in vein, he kept asking, but well, looking at the bright side, he is asking, not because he is an alpha that is touching other alpha’s omega, but because he respects Roger, and he appreciates it, although Freddie is his friend and he doesn’t need to ask for permission. He would be the godfather, but they will do as John did, he and Ronnie will be the official godparents, as gay couples can’t be godfathers yet.

Poor Robert will have to wait until he is one year old to be baptised because one of his godfather is away…

They spend the night like this, remembering the stories from when they met, laughing and just being the good friends they are. As always Roger thought he would be left out being the only one with no partner. Jim and Ronnie fit in their friendship, although it was like this, and Roger loves remembering it: he met Freddie when he started working with him, then he started dating Jim, he met John in University, he was dating Ronnie, he met Brian at the stall because he was Freddie’s friend, then they started dating, Brian met Freddie when the older was studying, John was also friends with Freddie and he only knew it after one year, and Brian and John met through him. It is such a mess, God.

He feels the baby moving, this little trouble likes to stay awake during the night and it’s one thing that they got from him, but he knows he will complain about it later on, he doesn’t care right now, though. It always amazes him, how he can feel the baby and that it doesn’t hurt at all, it only has love.

When the phone rings, Roger runs to his room. The telephone is permanently there since he’s receiving Brian’s calls every night. There’s five minutes left until the countdown to the New Year and he’s been expecting Brian to call the whole night, although he tried to pretend he was not.

_ “Happy New Year” _

Roger hears some people wishing him a new year over the phone, and it is very funny.

“What is this?” he asked, laughing.

“ _ They wanted to wish you a happy new year…” _ Brian was talking, but someone took the phone… “ _ He can’t stop talking about you, every 10 words that he says 11 has Roger in it…” _ then Brian’s voice return “ _ Ok, ok… Sorry about this, love, they are all drunk already” _

“It’s ok… I wasn’t expecting you calling today, though” yesterday they had talked and Brian had no idea what they would do in the New Year’s there, so he didn’t promised to call, as if he could call his family at midnight, then everyone would want to.

“ _ I’m sorry I kept you in the dark yesterday… but some of the guys went home and there's just three of us here tonight… I'm sorry I'm not one that went home, but I thought it would be better to stay and finish the thesis early… and I wouldn't be able to say goodbye twice" _

Roger's heart is beating fast, Brian could have gone home and then there would be no way he could not tell him about their baby, and he would never go back. Yes, it was very difficult when it was just the two of them, imagine now… He doesn’t even know if he would let Brian go…

“It’s fine, babe, you are there to be awesome and I only want back a doctor, you know that, I can’t accept less...” he thinks about what he told a little early, if the other guys with him are drunk, why isn’t he too? “And… Bri?”

“ _ Yes?” _

“Don’t tell me you were studying?”

He laughs. “ _ You know me so well…” _

“Just, go and have some fun with your nerd friends… even they get drunk in the New Year and you don’t” He is complaining, but deep down he is not, Brian was never one to get drunk easily, he usually takes care of him when they go out and  _ he _ can’t even walk properly, but now he can’t drink, so it’s fair for Brian not to do it either.

“ _ I’m fine” _

And then they hear the countdown from the television in the living room.

10, 9, 8…

“ _ Go to the balcony” _ Brian asks and he goes. It’s cold, but the sky is clear.

“I’m here” he whispers, and despite all the noise coming from the street and inside the house - their friends are crazy - he feels like it’s just the two of them in the world, no distance keeping them apart.

7, 6, 5…

“ _ We are looking at the same stars…” _

“But you are the brightest star in my sky..”

4, 3, 2…

“ _ I love you” _

“I love you too”

1

And then Freddie and John burst into the room and scream “Happy New Year”, he and Brian laugh and Roger can’t wait to have the four of them together, alongside the two newest addition, of course.


	26. Chapter XXVI

In their first anniversary they were still learning, Roger never thought he would be in a relationship like this, that had to face a difficulty right in the first year and that he would stay to overcome it. In his mind, when something like this happens, when there’s not a commitment, it is not worth it. But he developed a feeling so so deep for Brian that he stayed to listened to his problems and help him with it. They still have so much to learn, but both of them are trying, and since that talk they are more open. 

So to celebrate their first year together, Roger took them to a hill outside the city, with a bottle of wine and a clear sky, it was perfect to spend some hours drinking, enjoying the company and watching the stars. He thinks Brian is learning to balance his studies with having fun, so one night out to think about the sky as a way to relax is the perfect gift he thought for giving him. He’s happy that his boyfriend can be more healthy with him and this is really everything he needs.

Brian loved the idea, Roger and the stars are the two things he loves the most, so spending a night with them is really perfect. He’s very lucky to have found him, instead of breaking up with him because he is a selfish student that only thinks about having that damn title, Roger stayed with him and showed him that he can have both things. And he’s never been happier. They agreed that gifts only on holidays, Valentine’s day and Christmas, and their anniversary would be a day to give each other the gift of the company.

The night was perfect, despite the cold, they had fun and even made love there, in the blanket, not caring that they were outside, it was a special night, a night that they will never forget.

In their second anniversary they already considered that they were in an stable relationship. They were living together, they had their jobs, they had a very domestic life and had a pretty good year. That year they spend the whole day at home. Their flat was new and they have been living there for two months. It was a magical day when they decided to move in together. Roger is not a fan of interior design and he really doesn’t care about it, but Brian made a very good job in painting the walls and choosing the furniture.

They were more in love than ever, for each other and for the house, so it was never too much to just stay there enjoying the company and exploring new places, to have sex, of course. The table is a good one, they realized after fucking on top of it in the first day. And they have a couch!

This time they had a dinner inside. Brian cooked, of course, and put a very romantic environment. Two candles, a rose, two glasses of wine and the heater on. Just perfect for Roger. He was never a romantic type, but this is different. They both changed to adapt to the life together, as a couple, and it is not that bad to change with another people, because you grow and this is the life.

In their third anniversary they went to a fancy restaurant. It remembered their first date, three years ago. That date that Roger talked for weeks for Freddie to set up for him. He was dying to know that tall man that walked in in the stall looking for something to wear on a date and he desperately wished that that date didn’t went well, because he needed to have a chance with him. But Freddie kept telling him that he wouldn’t set a date to Brian anymore because he was sad that neither worked, so he would give him some time, wait until he’s ready. But you can’t deny a thing to Roger when he puts something in his mind. Thankfully after the New Year, he got what he wanted. And he wanted to make an impression. And God, are the other omegas fool? Are they blind? Because his crush on the man just got bigger after that night… 

The dinner itself wasn’t the best they had in their life. They are not used to it, and Roger honestly didn’t even know how to eat those strange things. As their first date, the best part was when they went out, walking with no direction, but this time holding hands and making plans for their future. Brian was wearing that suit and it made Roger’s heart go weak, because he, too, remembers that day like it was yesterday, because he, too, couldn’t get Roger out of his mind. Lucky for both of them, they now have each other for the eternity.

In their fourth anniversary they went to Brighton. Roger loves those trips because now he can go with his car. Brian loves it too, he enjoy watching Roger’s focused face when he’s driving, and then he sing along with the radio as he knows his boyfriend loves when he sing. When they were on the road, Brian was thinking if they are really to take the next step of their relationship, because he was sure that Roger was the one he wanted to spend his whole life with, to start a family with, to live everything together.

They spent a nice day on the beach, as it is winter, there were only a few people there and they could enjoy the breeze and the different smell of the air, despite the cold. For the night they stayed in a hotel, not wanting to spend another two hours on the road in the same day, and they could have their traditional anniversary sex there, although Roger suggested for them to do it in the car, as it is the only property of them that they hadn’t “inaugurated”, but he doesn’t want them to be arrest because of this, thank you very much.

It was the best anniversary they ever had, different from the others, because this time it was just the two of them, for real, no friends or parents close to ‘help’ them if they need something. It was just the two of them in a different city, making memories.

Now is their fifth anniversary and for the first time they are not together. As with everything they knew it was going to happen, they discussed it and decided to use the date, that also marks the halfway of them being apart, just six months left until Brian is back, to update each other with a picture.

Brian is constantly tired, he looks more like a zombie than a human and he really didn’t want Roger to see him like this, he’s more pale than ever and has dark bags under his eyes, but they planned it and he can’t back off now.

Roger is worried because his face changed a little, he’s a little more chubby, has more cheeks, like he was when he was younger, damn those people that remain the same while pregnant, because he feels completely different, despite being still on the smaller size… He didn’t want Brian to see him like this, but he has to as they planned.

Brian put the picture beside the others that were already there, as if he needed it to remember about his fiance.

Roger put the picture in a frame in their bedroom, so he can look at it while talking to his fiance, just to pretend he’s seeing him too.

They definitely don’t care about the changes and they both still think the other is the most beautiful person in the world. 


	27. Chapter XXVII

They were still reluctant to leave Robert with him, well, actually they were reluctant to leave Roger alone, never mind leave him with a baby. It took a lot of discussions, John had already talked to Freddie and asked him and Jim to spend the night with Robert. It was a very planned night, for weeks, actually, and John and Veronica would have the whole night just for them, with no worries. But of course Roger found out and freaked out. How could them not think about him? He is the godparent! He has the rights! If Robert’s parents die he will be the one responsible for him! So why he can’t take care of him for one night?

So that Saturday morning they went to Deaky’s house, to confront him, how dare him, to say he is his best friend and then not even tell him about his get away night with his wife! Roger feels betrayed. He was furious when he arrived there and of course Freddie was there too, they were best friends now, always talking and going out together, and making plans about Robert. And what Roger has? He’s no fun anymore, can’t drink, can’t run, can’t wear his fashion clothes, he can’t even work properly, as he’s now just sat behind the counter…

“You can’t stress right now, Rog…” John said when he started yelling and cursing everyone in the house, of course he made sure Robert was sleeping in his nursery, he would never do this in front of him.

“I’m not stressed, and I’m not disabled that I can’t take care of my godson!”

“What’s wrong with Freddie being with him?” And Roger really wants to punch John for being so calm, he knows he’s doing it on purpose.

“I have the rights and I can take care of a baby, Freddie can’t even take care of himself!”

“Look, I’m not offended because it is just your pregnant brain talking”

“What are you talking about, Fred?” 

“Rog, it’s just… you have to take care of yourself, you are entering the third trimester, it’s not easy to handle a seven months old baby, he’s already eating, he’s moving around a lot…” it’s John who answered and everybody expected Roger really to go crazy with this one, but what he did really was to sit up and cry.

They left him like this for a while and it was Freddie the first to approach him. “What’s going on, honey?”

And instead of snapping at him like early, the blond hugged him and started crying again. “It’s ok, Rog, you can talk to us, we are family”

“It’s just…” he starts, but he’s hiccupping. Ronnie brings him a cup of water, he thanks her before drinking and starting talking again. “You all think I’m incapable of doing regular things and I don’t even have Bri with me, so… I really really really just want to spend a night with my godson, play with him, show him the stuffs… it’s just… if it was normal you would’ve trusted Brian…” he looked at John. “It is not normal and I want it to be normal”

It really got him, all the days spending alone in the flat, all the treatment, he likes it, he likes spending sometime with himself and he likes being spoiled, but it’s not how he imagined being pregnant, he imagine Brian with him in the flat, Brian spoiling him, they going together to buy stuffs for the baby… not the nursery not being ready when there’s just three months left for the baby to arrive in this world. And he doesn’t even have the guts to tell Brian… he had six months! Six months! And he still didn’t do it. But he will have to, eventually?

“You will, but don’t worry about it right now” he didn’t even realized he was talking out loud until Freddie replied. 

“It’s ok, Rog, you can be with my son tonight, but don’t hesitate to call, ok?” Deaky finally gave in.

“I promise I will return your son intact”

“I mean call if you don’t feel ok”

And there they are, the three of them in a big hug in the middle of the room.

Freddie was with them the whole afternoon. They opened a box with a teddy bear, a very cute one (ok, Roger thought that every teddy bear were cute, he can’t help himself), and gave them to Robert. He had picked up some of his toys, but it’s good to have something in his house just for him, like something he will be looking for when going to Uncle Rog. He was impressed that the baby eats a lot and is crazy about banana.

It was a good day, they also went to the park, like a little happy family. And they are, even if it is just his best friend with his partner, his other best friend’s son and himself, pregnant with the baby of his fiance that is in other country.

When he was alone with Robert he thought it would be different. He was never alone with a baby before, but he was feeling confident, so maybe it is the pregnant brain that Fred said early… Before getting ready to go to bed, he picked him up to change the diapers. It’s not easy to hold a baby with the belly on the way, actually, it’s not easy to do everything, really. He thinks his belly grew a lot in the past weeks and it will only grow more until the last month, thank God for jackets and scarfs on winter, he’s not sure what he would do if it was summer, probably never leave his house again.

“Soon you will have a cousin to play with you, isn’t it exciting?”

It’s kind of crazy to talk to a baby, but Robert actually babbled a little, it’s very cute and melted Roger’s heart to think that he wants to have a conversation with him.

It was just the time to put him on the bed that the phone rang. Roger sat up and picked up the phone. It’s the best part of his day.

“Hey love”

“ _ Hello, baby, how are you today?” _

“I’m good, just waiting to talk to you”

“ _ Oh, something happened” _ Brian asks, Roger never talked like this, but he just decided to tease a little.

“No, I just miss you a lot, that’s all”

“ _ I miss you too… but I have some good news” _ he says, and the blond can tell that his voice is a little more excited.

“What is it?”

“ _ My professor thinks that I can finish the thesis at home, at home I mean at Imperial, so I will probably go back one month earlier than we thought” _

“Really? Wow, can’t these five months move faster?”

It’s when Robert makes a little baby noise that Brian could hear over the phone.

“ _ Is it Robert? Is Deak with you?” _ He asks, it is a good opportunity to make them interact a little over the phone.

“No, he’s here alone with me… Ronnie took John somewhere...”

“ _ He will sleep in the bed with you?” _

“Of course, he’s our godson, I have the rights to spoil him”

“ _ Well, at least you will practice for when we’ll have our own… I don’t mind you spoiling our baby too…” _ Brian says, innocently, but something twisted inside of Roger, and it’s not their actual baby, that is sleeping now that he’s awake, just to wake up when he will try to sleep and make his bladder as a trampoline to make him get up to go to the bathroom at least three times.

It is something in the way he talks about hypothetical babies and how he can feel that it is something he wants, in the future. Roger wants it in the future too, but he can’t dream about it, because it is real and he can feel it.

“Oh…” is the only thing he managed to say, still absorbed in his thoughts… should he tell him? Well, Bri, guess what, you don’t have to wait so long for it, because in three months we will have a baby. 

“ _ What? Is everything ok?” _ His oh always so worried voice...

“Yeah, it’s just, you don’t have the opportunity to practice” nice dribble, Roger.

“ _ Don’t you think Deaky will have the second before us?” _ And this time he tries not to be affected by it, Brian doesn’t know, it is fair for him to ask those things.

“I guess not, they are quick, but not that much”

“ _ We never know… and they are alone right now, aren’t they?” _

He laughs, glad that Brian didn’t asked or talked more about babies and everything. They talked a little more, eventually Robert slept and Roger knew it wasn’t going to be that easy for him in the first months with his baby, it’s not going to be giving milk, changing diapers and putting the baby to sleep like he did today with his godson. It’s going to be so tiring, at least Brian is coming home earlier, but the way he wished is not enough.


	28. Chapter XXVIII

“Freddie? What the hell are you doing?”

The last thing Roger expected was Freddie in his house in a Sunday morning. He had slept like, only two hours, firstly because he was up until three talking to Brian, they actually didn’t realized the time was passing so quickly, it was just when one of the others researches knocked at Brian’s door saying that he was keeping the phone there for longer than he needed, because they know they would’ve spent the whole night talking. And then when Roger thought he could sleep, the baby decided to wake up and be very active. They were sleeping the whole time, even when he was lazily caressing the belly, the baby was sleeping, and to the hell everything if it is the effect of Brian’s voice. And he knows it could be, he loves hearing him, it’s obvious that their baby would too, especially now that they listen and interact with everything in the outside world.

So he had to get up to go to the bathroom, but instead of going back to the bed, he decided to pick up a book and read, maybe it will calm both of them down. Of course it didn’t, maybe the baby is already tired of listen to his voice everyday, because he does talk a lot, especially when he’s at the stall with Freddie and there’s no customers. Then he got hungry and went to the kitchen, he sat up there, but as everything that he does now is dictated by the other human being, he could stay there for so long, as his back was urging for some soft surface. He wished he had unpacked the nursery furniture he bought, that chair seems like heaven... 

It was just at five that he could fall asleep, but at seven Freddie bursted in and woke him up. He was already in a mood for not sleeping, and his friend just closed himself in the soon-to-be nursery and didn’t say a word! He had a couple of cans in his hands, and God help him to what he will do. It is the room his child will sleep for some time…

When he got up and made a tea, after about an hour, he started thinking that Freddie is probably the best person to paint the walls, he will thank him after he explain why he had to do it in the morning.

He was almost sleeping again when Freddie finished.

“The nursery needs to be perfect, darling”

Roger sighs. Freddie starting making him coffee, he keeps the beverage at home in case if one of his friends or Ruth need it and many times he kept himself picking it instead of the tea. It’s morning, you should be drinking coffee…

“Should I go inside and look at what you did?”

“Not yet, let the paint dry”

“I don’t know if I want to know what you drew there”

“Of course you do, don’t be silly, and you will love it… besides, Jim will come here later to set up the crib and the wardrobes”

Why Freddie don’t tell him the things he plans to do? Roger definitely is not in the mood to finish the nursery, not today. All the clothes, toys and other stuff are in the bags in his room, the crib and the wardrobes were delivered but he hadn’t thought about getting them ready. He knows that Ruth went mad when he said he had bought the stuffs, they wanted to give it to them, but he refused, he will not accept one more thing from them… just a blanket and a teddy bear that Ruth brought to him saying that they were Brian’s. Those are in his bed, because they smell so good.

“But you don’t have to do it.”

“Oh, don’t we? Who will do it, then? You? You can’t even tie your shoes anymore…” he says, taking a sip of the coffee after each sentence.

“Don’t be mean”

“So a thank you will be welcomed…”

“Freddie, you are already drinking your coffee…”

“You know that I love you, darling, and I have to take care of you, you have too much to think already”

And in that moment a wave of affection over his friend took him and he  _ had _ to hug him… he’s giving too much hugs these days, and it’s becoming really difficult to reach out to the other person.

They had already had lunch when Jim arrived, he and Freddie went straight to the nursery and spent near two hours there, or that’s what Roger thinks because he slept on the couch and only woke up when Freddie slightly shook him, a big difference comparing to the morning. He appreciates it.

“Everything is ready, Rog”

He had already forgotten what they were there for. “What is ready?”

“The paint in the walls and the furnitures, now there’s missing only the clothes, toys and the baby, but the only person who can do this is you”

Oh, the nursery, yes, his friends were there to finish - or start - the nursery. Thank god, because there’s only ten weeks until the due date and he wouldn’t ask for help, maybe he would wait until he was desperate saying that the baby will be born and don’t have a nursery ready despite everything being there.

He stands up and, slowly, goes to the door that is closed. His heart is beating fast, he hadn’t planned a nursery because he hoped that he would do this with Brian, that they would be living in a big house with at least three rooms and a big garden, so he still doesn’t have a dream nursery in his mind.

“Go ahead” Freddie encourages him.

He opens the door, the smell of the paint is still very strong, but everything is in place. There’s the crib, everything… and the wall. The wall is white, but there are several planets that he could name if he wasn’t absorbed in the situation, it’s so unique and cute and comfortable and clear, a perfect place for a newborn. 

“It’s…” he doesn’t even know what to say, how to describe it. “It’s perfect, Fred, thank you, I wouldn’t have wanted it other way”

He didn’t imagine it like this, but now seeing it, it’s everything he wanted. He could be mad that it’s the universe that is keeping Brian away from them, but he’s not, he loves it and he knows that Brian loves it too, so much that they are spending months apart because of it. But maybe if it wasn’t because of it, he wouldn’t have this little creature to think about now and make the time spend so quick and so slow at the same time. If he could change it, he would have wanted it very planned, but he has it right now and wouldn’t change the way it’s going…

“Just one more thing” he says and points to the ceiling.

It’s dark and there’s stars. It seems like the night sky. When he realizes he’s crying. Fuck, he can’t wait to have his baby with him, to have Brian back, to have his family complete.

“It’s the sky in April, for when they will be born”

“I love it… just miss the cars, tho”

And then he wiped the tears and both started laughing.


	29. Chapter XXIX

Brian was tired, very tired. He knew it was going to happen when he decided to continue his studies and try for a PhD, he knew it was very demanding and it’s not the most healthy thing for his mental state. But wanted to do it either way, because in the end it will worth it all. 

But he wasn’t expecting to go there and try to make one year of work in half a year only. He was pushing himself to do it, he was the whole day in the library, with his face in many books, trying to create that perfect relation to the theories he had in the beginning, to make a perfect thesis, and then at night he would go outside to the observatory and just try to get exactly what he needs from the stars. In the middle of it he would call Roger.

This time that he spends talking to his fiance is the time the others take to sleep. He is still not used, even after half a year, to be the only one that has a family in the outside world. He feels out of the place, always worrying if something is happening back at home.

And he knows, he knows Roger can take care of himself, but still somehow he feels guilty for leaving him alone. Sometimes he calls his friends too, to talk to them because he also misses them, but also to ask them how Roger  _ really _ is. Sometimes he doesn’t ask for help and maybe he’s afraid of asking him for help right now but maybe Freddie or John know something. But they never have anything to say. “No, he is fine, working a lot, tho” or “no, he is fine, he always helps me with Robert”. And ok, maybe he is fine.

He also knows he should stop worrying that much. He’s not sleeping and it doesn’t help the fact that he must be 100% alert to all the details, to everything he is writing. Other times he doubts of himself, he almost cries over the papers, thinking he won’t be able to do it, that he’s not worth it and that he should just give up, go back home and be a regular teacher instead of being a researcher and an University professor. Or maybe he should pick his guitar and look for a band…

When he found himself he was on the phone again, in the light of the day, dialing a number that he last expected he would.

“ _ Hello? _ ” it is a female voice and Brian had to think hard to remember her name, he couldn’t.

“Hi, it’s Brian…” he says instead and before he can talk again, she is already answering him.

“ _ Oh, hi Bri, I’m gonna call Tim” _

God, he knows her name, they’ve been dating for a long time, he and Roger even went to double dates with them. After a couple of minutes his friend picks the phone.

“ _ Hey, man, how are things going? _ ”

He wasn’t thinking when he called Tim, why is he doing it, why suddenly the wish to talk to someone that is not over Roger all the time? And to talk to someone that knows him for ages and is not his parents?

“I’m so tired, Tim…” it’s the first time he is saying it outloud and it seems more true now. It’s exactly what he was fearing, that in the moment he would say the words, his world would fall. “I don’t know what to do, I want to do it, you know I do, don’t you? But it demands so much that I don’t know if I will be capable of finishing…” it’s the part of the thesis, but there’s more. “And I never thought it would be so hard to be away from Roger… I miss him so much, everyday… And… He feels so distant over the phone sometimes, like he didn’t want to talk to me everyday… I feel like he is keeping something from me and I’m going crazy here…”

He says everything in one go, he’s not sure if Tim was listening or if he just gave up on him too. It’s just when he hears that breath before Tim started talking that he got relieved that he didn’t messed up with him too.

“ _ First of all I’m sure you are capable of doing it, you are the smartest person in the world and you are definitely one that can do this, I bet your thesis are the excellent…” _ He stops for a second. “ _ And Roger loves you, I’m pretty sure he misses you too. I saw him last year at Freddie’s party and I could tell that he was not having the same fun he has when he is with you… I bet you are just two idiots that are only sad because you miss each other and don’t talk about your feelings. _ ”

Brian is not sure if this is what he needs… maybe it is the truth, but does he want the truth? He has no idea.

“ _ Look, if it will make you feel a little better, I have a party next week and I can go to the stall to buy the clothes… I can also check on Roger and then I tell you how I think he is, ok?” _

He nods, but then he realizes that Tim can’t see him. “Yeah… I think so… Thank you, Tim, you are a good friend…”

“ _ You would do the same thing for me, I’m sure _ ”

After they hung up Brian didn’t have the energy to do anything. He just closed the door and slept.

  
  
  


When Tim finally had the time to go to the stall with his girlfriend, Lisa, it was about one week after he talked to Brian. He was worried about his friend, he was easily trapped inside his mind and having too much to worry was not a good thing. And beside, there’s nothing he can do. He talked to one friend and then will go and talk to another friend. Roger is probably fine, and as he said, just missing Brian as well. He knows how a relationship can be and sometimes he and his girlfriend spend a whole evening without talking to each other, just watching tv and eating popcorn and he’s sure they do it too… it’s just harder to do it over the phone, when you have the obligation to talk all the time and tell every single thing you did even if you did nothing.

“Tim, darling, it’s so good to see you!” Freddie greeted them at the door. “Lisa, you are even more beautiful than the last time I saw you” and he kisses them in the cheek.

“You saw me last week, Freddie”

Tim explained to him what they need for the party and he and Lisa (more Lisa) spent a good hour trying on different clothes. He hadn’t see Roger yet, it’s weird because he’s always there, he doesn’t like missing a day of work, and with Brian out, he’s sure the blond is not very fond of being at home alone.

It’s just when he went to pay, as Freddie and Lisa kept talking about fashion and everything, that he saw Roger was there. He was sat behind the counter, looking very bored, reading a newspaper. Besides looking bored, he also looks tired and it is exactly the face he pictured when he was talking to Brian. They really are soulmates. But in general he is looking good, his face has something different, but nothing that worries him too much. His diagnosis is that he is fine and Brian has nothing to worry about.

“He is fine, just looking tired as you, we talked for some time and he is the same old Roger that I got to know” he said to Brian after he got home and called him. He hears his friend breathing again and wonders if he spent all the week thinking about it.

He just hopes everything will be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: drama!


	30. Chapter XXX

A week has passed since that day that Tim just showed up at the stall. Roger thought about it for some days and he found it very strange. Ok that he and Freddie are friends and they are friends too, but usually they just go out in a party or some bar, and usually with Brian too.

That day he was feeling like shit, actually his mood is very poor these last days. He didn’t want to see people and he didn’t want people to see him. It’s very difficult now that he can’t hide the bump anymore, the jackets and scarfs are not enough. He feels so big and he’s just at week 33, he can’t imagine how he will feel for the next weeks and it sucks that he knows that the baby will double their size before they are born. 

He’s not feeling that happy anymore, he can’t sleep well and his worries about his look are in his mind the whole time. He never had doubts about it, he knew he was always pretty and after he started dating Brian, his boyfriend made sure he felt loved and cared. And damn it, this is the exactly same thing he wanted right now. It doesn’t matter that John or Freddie or him mum or Ruth or anyone tell him ‘oh, you are looking amazing today’, because he sees in their eyes that they are doing it just to make him feel better. No, he wanted to see those eyes that shine with love, that he knows whatever comes out from his lover’s mouth will be the truth. 

He likes to imagine that Brian would love to see him like this, that he would say that he is beautiful because he’s carrying their child, that he should be proud of himself. Then he would take his legs and massage his feet that god, can’t stand him standing for five minutes that are already swollen, Freddie’s hands are divine, but not the hands he wanted. Then Brian would kiss him and they would make love saying how much they love each other.

But it’s not happening, so he’s miserable eating chocolate without letting his doctor know about it.

Then he thinks again about that day he talked to Tim. It’s not that he wasn’t happy about seeing a friend, he was, but he was watching him like something was odd in him. Well, he knew something was different, but Tim couldn’t know what it is, so bless the counter that he can hide behind, not just from his friend that is also friend’s with his fiance that doesn’t know about the pregnancy, but also from the others customers. He decides that when Brian call tonight he will ask him about it, if he knew that Tim went there and talked to him.

And then there’s the other thought and he doesn't like to be jealous, he's never jealous, it's just right now the idea of Brian talking to other people without him knowing feels a little like a betrayal. He knows he's not being coherent, but what is coherent in his life right now? 

That evening he didn’t eat, he doesn't feel like it and he thinks that maybe the baby is not liking the idea of being left without food for some hours, because they won't stop kicking. He will eat, eventually, but right now he feels like his stomach won't hold anything. 

He waits for Brian to call and to add to his stress he is thirty minutes late, he's never late when it comes to call him and when he can't call at the right time he usually let him know. Well, maybe he called Tim before… Or maybe something happened and they didn’t have the time to call him to let him know. Fuck, why is he like this? Why can’t he just be normal? Nothing is happening, he is just freaking out.

After another fifteen minutes of him creating a thousand scenarios in his head from Brian talking to another person to him dying in another country without him and without knowing about their child, the phone rang. He thought about waiting a little to pick up, to make Brian feel what it is to be kept waiting, but he couldn’t, after the first ring he hungrily answered the phone.

“Bri?” and he is even the first to speak! Too much for not being eager.

_ “Hey love, how are you?” _ he has that always sweet voice that almost makes Roger forget the he is in a bad mood. Almost.

“I’m good… Why are you late?” he asks as if Brian was late for a date and made him wait hours in a restaurant.

“ _ I’m sorry, I was too caught up in the writing… I’ve been in it since the morning and lost track of the time” _ he can hear he is really sorry and feels kind of sorry, he seems tired. But then he thinks back to a talk they had months ago, when Brian said that he would still give the attention to him, call him everyday at the same hour and keep thinking about him all the time. At the time he said that he should focus on the thesis, but of course, think about him too. But now? Now he wants the attention.

“Hmm…” he is not jealous of a writing that is keeping him away from his fiance and keeping his fiance even more away from him. He is not jealous of a good, a wonderful, thing that is happening to them because it is keeping Brian away from him while he is pregnant. He is not jealous of a thing that he knows is more important right now that is keeping him from telling him about the baby!

“ _ Is everything ok, Rog?” _ he still has his sweet voice and how can he be mad at him?

“Yes, Bri, everything is fine” he doesn’t know if he said it casually or coldly. It doesn’t matter.

“ _ Are you sure?” _ he insists.

“Yes, why? I’m a little sleepy, that’s all” good excuse!

“ _ Ok… So how was your day?” _ it’s the same thing everyday, why is it the same thing everyday?

“Boring… but I was thinking about last week that Tim showed up at the stall and stared at me like I was some weird dude there… do you have something to do with it?” there, he said it, and at first his intention was not to be that cold, he just can’t help himself right now.

“ _ No… I just talked to him, I don’t know, two weeks ago…” _

“Oh, you talked to him?”

“ _ Yes, I was so stressed and…” _

He didn’t let him finish. “And you couldn’t talk to me? Am I not enough anymore?” Very good, Roger, and you are not a jealous boyfriend… oh, no, fiance, soon to be husband.

“ _ I talk to you everyday, love, you know it’s the best part of my day” _ and damn it this sweet voice.

He had a reply ready, but a very hard and a little painful kick his his stomach. It’s the hardest until now and he wasn’t ready and involuntarily he gasped.  _ Nice one, baby, you are already at your father’s side and you don’t even know him? _

“ _ Rog? Are you sure you are feeling ok?” _

“Yes, I am fucking fine, I think I will hang up now…” he doesn’t really want to hand up, he wants to say everything and let Brian take care of him, but he can’t.

“ _ But we didn’t even talk…” _

“I think it’s a good idea for you to call Tim instead…” not jealous!

“ _ Rog, you are not yourself tonight, what happened?” _ he is still so calm, it usually makes him feel calm too, but right now he is even more pissed. Maybe he should have eat something. The baby kicks hard again.

“Oh my God, Brian, I already said everything is fine. I’m good. Perfect. Never been better. The truth is that I don’t want to hear your boring little talk about whatever shit you are writing…”

_ “Rog… _ ”

“And don’t fucking ask if I’m fine, what will you do if I’m not? Hm? What can you do? I can take care of myself, I don’t need you, I’m fucking fine here. You don’t need to bother to call me anymore”

And he hung up.


	31. Chapter XXXI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's point of view of the fight

It was wednesday and he just wanted to get some work done, he didn’t even know what day of the week it is, he usually gets that the day is over because it’s the time to call Roger. But that day he was really inspired. He finally could finish that analyse that he made of the sky last week and it is a pretty evolution, he thinks that now he has everything he needs to comprove his theory. It was one of the best days he had, in terms of writing and when it was getting dark outside - he could make it through the small window of the library - he decided to make some review. He is inspired so it’s probably the best day to do so. There’s still a long way for him to finish, but the job that must be done there will take him another two months or so, and he will be able to ask them to let him finish it at home.

But he was so concentrated in it that he completely lost track of time and it was just when one of the professor entered the library telling him it was late - he was going to do the review of another student, they have a weird routine - that he realized the completely missed the time to call Roger. It never happened before and it’s probably because he won’t be out to observe the sky tonight that he let himself consume in the writing.

He ran to the corridor the phone is in, and without taking it to his room he dialed the number, hoping that Roger isn’t too much worried.

“ _ Bri? _ ” Roger’s voice seem almost normal, but there’s something there, in him calling his name instead of just saying ‘hi’ that is not quite right.

“Hey love, how are you? _ ” _ He, at least, tries to keep it normal.

“ _ I’m good… Why are you late? _ ” Of course he was going to ask.

“I’m sorry, I was too caught up in the writing… I’ve been in it since the morning and lost track of the time _ ” _ there’s no point in not telling the truth, it’s what happened and it’s not like he forgot, he is calling him right now. He knows his fiance, he’s not one to go to sleep early, so half hour late is not that much.

“ _ Hmm… _ ” He seems jealous, and it’s a new thing for him. He never saw Roger get jealous, he’s always so confident, he guarantees himself, it’s usually the other way… He always had a little of jealousy, especially because Roger is the most beautiful person in the world and he’s just himself.

“Is everything ok, Rog? _ ” _ If something happened, he wants to know. Did he said something yesterday? No, they had their usually talk. Isn’t he giving him enough attention? If so, he will promise to get better.

“ _ Yes, Bri, everything is fine _ ” he snaps and Brian wants to defend himself, but he  _ knows _ something is wrong and the only way to get something out of Roger is pressioning him, so he tries again.

“Are you sure? _ ” _

“ _ Yes, why? I’m a little sleepy, that’s all _ ” He knows he’s not telling the truth, a sleepy Roger is not like this, he knows him. But he won’t push, if Roger doesn’t want to tell him what’s going on, fine.

“Ok… So how was your day? _ ”  _ He decides to change the subject, do the same thing they always do, talk about what they did during the day, then just talk about nothing and everything. This will work.

“ _ Boring… but I was thinking about last week that Tim showed up at the stall and stared at me like I was some weird dude there… do you have something to do with it? _ ”

But God, why is he so difficult today? Why bring it a whole week after that happened? Tim went there, then talked to him, then told him what he saw that was the same old Roger working. He thought it was in the past, but no. 

“No… I just talked to him, I don’t know, two weeks ago… _ ” _

“ _ Oh, you talked to him?” _

There he is, the jealous Roger. That’s knew. And jealous of Tim? Tim is an alpha that has a girlfriend that is an omega. Tim is exactly like Brian, except that Brian is already engaged with a man that is an omega. Tim is his friend. Just friend, not best friend, but a good friend that he knows for years, that he trusts. 

But what will he say to Roger now? He barely remembers the day he called Tim, for him it was ages ago. Again, there’s no point in lying.

“Yes, I was so stressed and…” but he couldn’t finish because Roger talked over him. This never happened before.

“ _ And you couldn’t talk to me? Am I not enough anymore? _ ” He takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t have the energy to fight, he doesn’t even know  _ how _ to fight with Roger, it’s a thing they never do… He tries to remain calm, if he’s calm then maybe Roger will also calm down.

“I talk to you everyday, love, you know it’s the best part of my day” 

Then he heard him gasping, like something was happening right now. A million things crossed his mind, from the broken ankle he had months ago that is not healed to him dying right there while talking to him and he can do nothing about it.

“Rog? Are you sure you are feeling ok?” he tries again, it’s not this simple anymore, he can hear he is in pain and he would be a terrible partner if he let him suffering like this.

“ _ Yes, I am fucking fine, I think I will hang up now… _ ” he snapped. And he snapped not wanting to talk to him anymore. What the fuck is happening? Why he is suddenly jealous and then mad at him? He just wants to understand!

“But we didn’t even talk…”

“ _ I think it’s a good idea for you to call Tim instead… _ ” God!

“Rog, you are not yourself tonight, what happened? _ ” _

“ _ Oh my God, Brian, I already said everything is fine. I’m good. Perfect. Never been better. The truth is that I don’t want to hear your boring little talk about whatever shit you are writing… _ ”

_ “ _ Rog…” He can’t believe what he is hearing, everything is so.... Unreal. And it got worse, of course, he thought it couldn’t get worse, but it did. And then his biggest fear became true.

“ _ And don’t fucking ask if I’m fine, what will you do if I’m not? Hm? What can you do? I can take care of myself, I don’t need you, I’m fucking fine here. You don’t need to bother to call me anymore _ ”

And then the terrible noise of the line going down.

I don’t need you.

You don’t need to bother to call me anymore.

He repeats the words in his head, over and over again. He is still holding the telephone. He can’t bring himself to move. What happened? They were doing it fine, he thought, it’s been more than half a year. 

But of course it was going to happen. Why Roger would want to stay with him? Now that he saw how it’s good to be free, how his life is better without Brian in it? He is not bothered by Roger saying that he is boring, he can live with it, but the way he said the rest, he was really pissed.

But no, he can’t leave it like this, he will go back and he will try to reconquer him. He did it once, didn’t he? Roger loved him once, he can surely love him again. He will even propose again, with a big event, they way he deserves it, not putting the ring near the coffee pot in a boring morning.

And should he stop calling him? Or should he insist? He doesn’t want to stop talking to him, he said it’s the best part of his day because it is, what motivation he will have knowing that at the end of the day he won’t have someone to talk to? But at the same time he doesn’t know if he can handle Roger hanging up in his face again.

When he realizes he is going to the door, he didn’t even saw himself putting the phone down and walking. He is so numb.

“Brian? What are you doing?” It was his professor, he should talk to him, but right now he can’t.

“I’m going to the observatory, I have a small doubt and hope I will catch it today” it is a lie, he doesn’t have doubts. “I will show you when it’s ready”

And then he left the house. It’s cold, one of the coldest days they ever faced there and it was probably wiser to stay inside, drink a hot tea and try to sleep with plenty of blanket and the heater on. But he doesn’t want it.

So he left without taking his overcoat.


	32. Chapter XXXII

When Roger woke up the next day he was feeling a little better, although he’s thinking in not going to work today. He usually likes to spend the day there, talking to Freddie and watching him and the other girls interact with the customers, he’s not always bored. But today he feels like staying inside, warm and cosy, just watching crap things on tv, eating and talking to the baby that is moving a lot nowadays. And, of course, just wait for Brian to call him at the end of the day…

_ Oh _ .

Then he remembered what happened yesterday. Did he really do that? He snapped at Brian? Brian? The love of his life? Ok, they disagree a lot in a lot of things, but they never fight, they never say bad words to each other, they have a healthy relationship. And how could he have done it? It’s not Brian’s fault, nothing is his fault, him being a bitch is not his fault.

It’s eight in the morning and he is already freaking out. He can’t call Brian right now, he has no idea what he is doing and he hopes he is sleeping, he won’t take it from him... but he feels bad for leaving him a whole day thinking he’s mad at him. 

So he called Freddie, he probably just woke up too.

“Jim? I need Freddie” he didn’t even let the other man talk, he knows he is the one who always answers the phone, somehow Freddie is scared of answering phones, he never dared to ask why.

“ _ Is everything ok, Rog? And the baby?” _ he asked, worried, before screaming to call Freddie, this is another thing he really miss doing to Brian…

“No… the baby is fine, I am not” 

“ _ Ok, do you need to go to the hospital?” _ He’s worried and Roger doesn’t know how to feel about it.

“No, no, I just need Freddie”

“ _ I’m here, darling, what do you need?” _ he’s brushing his teeth. He called him while he was brushing his teeth! But he doesn’t care!

“I fucked it up, Freddie, really really bad” he cries.

“ _ What?” _

“Can you come here? Please?” He has no idea why he needs his friends that much, and Freddie has to work today too, but he needs someone to comfort him. After Freddie said that in five minute he was there, he called John. John also comes with Robert and a baby scent always makes him feel good.

They arrived together, maybe they even talked to each other, but Roger doesn’t want to think about it. He had started to cry and hadn’t stop yet, just remembering the words he said yesterday. He opened the door for them, but he quickly sat in the couch, too weak to stand still. Freddie carefully put the baby carriage inside and they both sat down with him.

At first they didn’t say anything, didn’t asked either. They just stayed there, hugging him and wiping the tears. John got up to make them tea, and after the whole five minutes Roger was still the same.

“I said horrible things to Brian yesterday…” he started, after drinking the tea he calmed down and could properly speak. He makes a pause. “I don’t know why it happened but first I was jealous of Tim” he laughs at himself, he is so stupid. “And then I told him…”

He had to make other pause or he will start crying again. “It’s ok, Rog…” Deaky said, trying to comfort him.

“I told him that I didn’t need him and that he shouldn’t call… Why I did that? I am so stupid!” He wipes a few tears, saying it outloud again didn’t feel good as he thought it would, he still feels bad.

“Oh, honey, we know you didn’t mean it, it’s just the hormones” it’s Freddie who talked now, and he knows he is right, he has some mood switches now that he didn’t have before - he has always been a little for the angry side, but nothing that affected his personal relationships.

“I didn’t even let him answer, he was worried, asking me if I was fine. I WAS NOT” he raises his voice, trying to stand up again, but the fours arms that are on him don’t let him do it.

“Calm down, Rog, please” John says in his always calm voice.

“And instead of telling him and letting him… I just snapped. And I don’t even know if he…” Freddie opened his mouth to say something, but Roger already knows what it is. “And don’t say he understands, Fred, he doesn’t know, how is it fair to him? He’s probably thinking I want to break up with him”

“He’s Brian, he will probably call you today and you can talk, everything is going to be ok, Rog” 

“Do you think, Fred?”

“Of course, I know him too”

“And until then we will distract you, you can feed Robert now if you want, I brought his food”

Roger is still amazed by how a little baby can eat so much, it’s magical to see the process, he is so grown up that he is already eating proper food!

“But you don’t have to go to work?”

They both say ‘no’ at the same time.

  
  


They spent the whole day together, and Roger almost forgot what he did yesterday. He always has a lot of fun with his friends and that’s why he called them in the first place, he could very well spend his whole day alone laying in the bed and thinking about the mess he created. 

But many things made him miss Brian: once when he stopped what he was doing and just looked at Freddie and Deaky, they were laughing at some stupid thing, but they were not complete, a piece of them was missing and it is not the same without him, the right thing is the four of them together. Then they were discussing names, if Brian has a right it is to choose their baby’s name, it’s so unfair that he is not here to do it.

The time passed quickly and when he saw they had already eaten the three boxes of pizza they ordered and he was not so patiently waiting for the call. It was an usual evening, but this time he was with Freddie and John, both of them sit on the bed with him. It could be normal if it wasn’t for him almost freaking out.

“What if he did call?” he says about five minutes before the time Brian usually does.

“He will” John says, trying and failing to put Robert to sleep.

“You can put him in the nursery, it’s empty” he points out, seeing that the baby is struggling with the environment. “But I did tell him to not call…”

The five minutes pass incredibly slow, Deaky returned after successfully putting Robert to sleep in the nursery, and Roger was almost passing out because of his nervousness, his own baby very active for this hour when normally they are very quiet.

He looks at the clock. Time is passing and nothing. The phone doesn’t ring.

“He won’t call…”

“Just wait, dear, last time he was late, wasn’t he? Maybe…” the bad news is that Freddie doesn’t know what to say, it was him being late that caused the fight, and he knows that if Brian would call, he would do it on time, he really doesn’t know what to do to calm Roger down.

“I just wanted to tell him everything… to say I’m sorry… to say that I love him and…”

No one say anything for about fifteen minutes as Roger is staring at the phone.

“I’ll call him” he finally decided, he won’t let it like this.

He dials the number. Making a call to another country is very expensive and Brian does it because the University pays for it, but right now he doesn’t care, he  _ needs _ to talk to him, he thinks he will go crazy if he spend a day without hearing his voice.

The phone rings for about three times until someone picks up.

“ _ Hello?” _ It’s a male voice, probably a beta, Roger thinks.

“Hi, could you call Brian? Brian May?” he says, his whole body feeling the nervousness.

“ _ Is it Roger?” _ the mans asks, does he know about them? Well, of course, everyone there knows about them.

“Yes.. may I talk to him? Please?”

There’s a pause. “ _ They didn’t call you?” _

He almost drops the phone. “No?” he’s not understanding what is happening.

“ _ We had to take him to the hospital, he’s good, but he had to stay there. You can call there.” _

He’s at the hospital? He’s good? But had to stay at the hospital?

“Ok, thank you” he manages to say before hanging up.

Without saying anything, he stands up and goes to the closet, changes his clothes and goes to the living room to pick his car key. Freddie and John are right behind him, not understanding why he is doing what he is doing.

“Rog?”

He sighs.

“I need to go and see Brian”

“What?” They both say at the same time.

“He’s at the hospital, he needs me”

“You can’t travel on an airplane, Rog” John says.

“I’ll drive then” nothing will change his mind, he can’t leave him like this, in another country, alone, thinking he doesn’t want to talk to him anymore.

“No, you will stay here, I will call Ruth”

“I can’t leave him alone, Fred” 

“He won’t be alone, trust me”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: Just bear with me, one more chapter and everything will be good, I promise


	33. Chapter XXXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little rushed and it is because I was all over the place these last couple of days, it was my birthday and I kind of don't like it, so I was very nervous and anxious because of it. It interfered in my writing, but if I kept looking at this chapter I would never post it. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. 
> 
> Next chapter we will go back to Roger's point of view to know what was happening with him.

He spent the night watching the stars, imagining how it would be if he was up there instead of just in another country. He can dream that the stars he is studying and analyzing are closer than they really are, so he can reach them and see how they are. He picked up a paper and a pen, and started writing. This time it’s not from the observation, he doesn’t feel like doing it right now, only thinking about what just happened.

So he started writing a song. He wished he had the Red Special with him right now, because he can also hear the melody. It’s a sad song, but it doesn’t matter right now, because this is the way he is feeling. 

_ In the year of '39 assembled here the volunteers _

_ In the days when lands were few _

_ Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn _

_ The sweetest sight ever seen _

Eventually the stress from the previous hours caught him and he fell asleep, not before putting the paper with the song in his pocket, no one can see it. He was feeling the cold, the night doesn’t forgive and the observatory doesn’t have a heater system, he couldn’t care about it.

He dreamt about being home, about meeting Roger when he already have the PhD, they would meet exactly the same way they did. Freddie would insist for him to go to that last blind date, he would go with the thought that it would go the same way as the others, but the person that was his date is the most amazing person in the world. They would do the second date, the third, and they would start dating. They would say ‘I love you’ for the first time exactly the same way they did, as they would make love for the first time. They would move in together, design their house and make very good memories there exactly the same way they did. But in his dream he would never have that offer to move to another country for a year, because he already finished it, so one day he would take Roger out on a date. It would be very different, but he is sure Roger would love. It was so vivid in his dream, almost like he was actually living it.

Roger loves cars and he loves racing. So what better than take him to the world championship that is in England this weekend? He was happier than a little kid in the middle of those cars, he watched in awe those drivers and Brian really loves seeing him like this. He did the right thing. The race eventually ended, and he knew that it didn’t matter the driver who won, Roger enjoyed it to the maximum. “I really loved it, thank you, Bri” and he kissed him. At the end of the day Brian took the courage and did it. They were in the line to get an autograph from a driver when he got in one knee and took the ring box from his pocket. "Roger Meddows Taylor, I swear I had a speech, but seeing you so happy made me forget it. I want to make you happy like this every day of our lives, forever, if you let me. Will you marry me?" "Yes, yes, yes, I love you so much Brian Harold May". He puts the ring in his finger and they kiss.

The dream then goes to another place. They are in their flat, apparently everything is normal, he is in the kitchen, making them dinner, it’s an important event, but he’s not sure what it is, the smell is good and when he sees he already finished it, he went to call Roger. He found him sitting in the armchair, Brian wants to hold this scene forever in his mind, it’s so peaceful, there are the two people he loves the most in the world, his husband and their baby, that is sleeping in his chest. He never thought he would be so happy, this is everything he ever wanted to have. He kissed Roger and then kissed the little head of their baby.

He was feeling cold and then he wasn’t. The image in front of him became blurry and then there was white. So much white. 

He opened his eyes and he wasn’t in the observatory. What the hell happened? He wanted to get up and just start his day, probably, if it is the morning, but there is something in his arm….

“Oh, finally you are awake” It is his professor, what is he doing here? Where is he? And why ‘finally’? God, he is already thinking too much.

“Wha…” he tries to speak, but has to clear his throat. A glass of water appears in front of him. “Thank you. What happened?”

“In the morning I went to the observatory to search for you and you were unconscious, so I brought you to the hospital, you were very cold, almost hypothermic, you should be more careful, Brian”

He blinks. Did he let this happen? 

“Oh…”

“And you’ve been out for the whole day, I was worried”

His professor is a very closed person, he is very professional and they only talked about the research until now. He knows he is an unmated alpha and doesn’t have a partner either. But he is showing genuine worry, maybe it is because if he is sick he can’t work, and if he can’t work, the professor can’t work either.

“What time is it?”

“Almost ten…”

He’s really been out for the whole day. It’s probably because it’s been months since he last slept for six hours straight, but he really didn’t need it to be like this. He feels fine now, and could go home right away. 

“I need to call Roger, he will be worried…” it’s just when he said it out loud that he remembered why he went to the observatory without his overcoat in the first place. Because Roger said that he should worry about him anymore and that she shouldn’t call.

“I asked the nurse to call him, but they said that here the laws are different and they can’t give information to an omega if you are unmated.” The professor is reading a magazine now. “So they called your mum, she’s coming, probably will be here any minute”

He blinks again. And again. And again. He’s getting himself a headache. Not that he wants Roger to travel all the way from England  _ just _ to see him, but he really needed that, he needed to see him, to make sure they are fine, to make sure they are still together.

A young doctor comes in. He asks him some things, that he just answers automatically, he’s here, but his mind is somewhere else. He gives him some more painkillers and tells him that he should spend two nights at the hospital just to make sure he will get some rest.

“But I don’t have the time, I have to finish…” he says while the doctor is still in the room. But it is the professor who stops him.

“Brian, you are ahead of the others, if you keep like this you won’t finish it because you will collapse again. Trust me, I read what you already did, and it’s good.”

Despite everything he smiles, it's worth it, if the person that will evaluate him is saying that he did good till now. After the doctor left, he thinks he slept again, this time a dreamless sleep, because when he woke up there was a hand holding his and when he opened his eyes the professor wasn’t sitting in the chair he was previously.

He looked at the source of the warm hand and saw a face that has been months since he last saw.

“Mum?” He really missed her, her unique scent that only brings calmness to him, her way to make him feel safe.

“I’m here, baby, how are you feeling?” she says, caressing his face, like she did when he was little.

“I think I’m good now,” he hums.

“Yeah, you slept for twelve hours, you needed it. Why didn't you tell me you were pushing yourself?” Ruth says in a motherly voice, not scolding, just worried.

“I just want to go home sooner…” he closes his eyes. “How is Roger?” He knows she’s been talking to him more than she did before, and he really loves it.

“He called when you were sleeping. He’s good, but worried about you, he asked me to say he is sorry, but didn’t tell me what happened. Are  _ you _ ok?” 

“He called? He wants to talk to me?” If Roger called the hospital it is because he knows about what happened, did he try to talk to him last night? Then he remembers the song he wrote before, apparently, almost freezing to death.

“Are my clothes here?” Ruth looks over the room and finds them in a cabinet. “There’s a sheet in the pocket. Can you give it to Roger when you come back?” 

He didn’t want him to see it, but now, there’s no better way than that to let him know what he is feeling. No more secrets and just a few months. Then they will be together again.


	34. Chapter XXXIV

“No Freddie, you are not understanding, I must go too, I can’t leave it like this”

They called the May’s about half an hour ago, and Harold answered saying that Ruth was going to the airport, that he shouldn’t worry, that everything will be fine. “Call me if you don’t feel well”, he even said to Roger. 

It was late and Freddie was trying to put Roger to sleep, at least for a couple of hours. But it’s never easy to make Roger do something, especially now that he is convinced that instead of calling the hospital he should go into a plane for a not welcomed trip.

“You can, and you will. Now, close your eyes and try to sleep, I’ll go make some tea”

John went home some minutes ago, as Veronica was already worried, but Freddie made sure he was going to stay with him, leaving Roger alone is not a good option either.

And then Roger is in his room again, everything is silent, only the noise coming from the kitchen. He tried to sleep, really did, but the baby doesn’t want to. They are moving more than the normal, not collaborating with him either.

“I know you miss dad, I miss him too…” despite having to stand the kicks every day, every hour, he still likes when the baby reacts to his touches and voice. But now, now everything he wanted was for them to stop, to sleep a little so he can rest. He knows it is his fault, if he hadn’t said those things to Brian he wouldn’t get sick and they would have talked tonight and the baby wouldn’t be demanding him the other father’s voice. 

“It’s ok, we’ll talk to him soon…”

“Rog?” Freddie returns to the bedroom and sits beside him. “Can’t sleep?”

“No, the baby is very active, I think they are missing Brian’s voice” he says with a sad smile.

“Well, you can always put our tape, there’s Brian’s voice in there too” Freddie suggests. They had recorded some songs some months ago, but never started the project of a band because of kids and work.

“I’ll call the hospital” he decided, if Freddie won’t leave, he has to talk to him, like immediately.

He picks the phone and dials the number. He thinks about the phone bill, but he will figure it out later.

“ _Hello_?” a woman with an italian accent answered.

“Hm, hello, may I talk to Brian May, please? He was admitted in the morning” he says, nervous, he doesn’t like to talk to other people over the phone, always preferring personal contact.

“ _Are you related?”_ he rolls his eyes and Freddie asks silently to know what is happening.

“Yes, I am his omega” he waits for about five minutes, almost yelling at the woman as he can hear her talk to another person.

“ _I’m sorry, but in our system he doesn’t have an omega, I can’t give you information”_

“WHAT? No…” he doesn’t even know what to say, it is unbelievable, everything is going wrong today, it can’t be possible. He puts the phone down. “This bitch doesn’t let me talk to Brian because he has no omega” he imitates her voice and rolls his eyes again.

“Give me the phone here, they are conservative, they won’t deny it to me”

Roger gives the phone to him, still pissed, he doesn’t even hear Freddie being all lovely to the woman, he knows it is the way to get it, but he wanted to murder her. First they don’t let him go there, then they don’t even let him _talk_ to him.

“Here, they are transferring the call to his room” he picks the phone again, his heart beating fast. They said to him that he is fine, but now he will make sure of it himself.

“Hello?” He says, until unsure. 

“ _Roger, right?_ ” A male voice answered. He already knows this voice, from a previous call, but he can’t remember who the man is, probably someone from the University, as he also knows his name. He’s glad that until Ruth is not there there’s someone watching him.

“Yes… can I talk to Brian?” he asks, it’s almost two in the morning, the other man is probably tired himself and he is calling because he was an idiot the other night.

“ _He’s sleeping right now… but he already woke up, said he had to call you, he was worried that you would be worried if he didn’t call”_ he can tell the other man is smiling and he is smiling too. Even after he said horrible things to him and being in a hospital, Brian still thought about him. “ _Do you want me to wake him?”_

“No no” he says, quickly. “He needs to rest”

“ _He does.”_

“I’m sorry to ask, but who are you?” He needs to know who the man is to thank him properly.

“ _I’m Tom Adams, Brian’s professor_ ” the man says proudly. He always knew Brian was the professor’s favourite. What not to like in him?

“Thank you for taking care of him, Dr Adams” he says, almost crying.

“ _It’s my job. And you know what, Roger?”_

“What?”

“ _He’s doing it for you_ ”

And finally, in more than 24 hours he could breathe again. And he could finally sleep.

  
  


That night his dreams had a real baby for the first time. A very small baby in his arms, blond hair that you need to really look to realize it’s there and sleepy hazel eyes look up at him as it’s asking for something. 

It was already afternoon when he woke up, feeling much better than the day before, he smiles remembering his dream, he wants a baby that looks like both of them, but he really wants a baby that is the copy of Brian, he can imagine himself just looking at their baby. 

There was a smell coming from the kitchen alongside with some noises and a rushed talk. He stands up carefully, after a restless night the baby is still sleeping and he doesn’t want to make sudden movements to wake them up, he never thought it would be so hard to have a sleep schedule even before the baby is born.

In the kitchen a very domestic scene: his two best friends are at the table, discussing something and eating some kind of soup that he doesn’t know how it got inside of his house. 

“Fred? Deaky? What are you doing here?” he asks, laughing. He has to admit that the thing they made for them to eat smells really good.

“Welcome back” Freddie says, standing up to hug him. “You slept for almost half a day, we knew you should eat, but you were so cute sleeping” he grabs his cheeks and if Roger was in his normal self he would’ve punched him.

“Two days in a row that both of you don’t go to work” he points out, picking a spoon to eat. “John, didn’t you just return to work? Already finding excuses? And Freddie, if both of us are here, who is watching the stall?”

“God, you are already in your motherly mood?” Freddie says and they three laugh.

After about fifteen minutes, Roger couldn’t stop asking Freddie to call the hospital again, being already afternoon Brian is probably awake and as he was told, he will be discharged tonight. He needs to talk to him right now.

“I won’t fight you because of our baby. Here, talk to your prince” Roger shows him the middle finger before thanking him.

The phone rings twice before someone picks it up. He doesn’t let the person say anything.

“Bri?” he says, quietly, not sure how he is, also a little scared.

“ _Rog?”_

“Oh, thank god. Bri? Are you ok?”

“ _I’m now…”_ But Roger can’t let him finish, he needs to say the words.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so sorry, I love you, I didn’t mean what I said, I was stressed and… I love you so much, Bri, please, never leave me, I can’t stand the idea of losing you” he says in one go. There, finally.

“ _I love you too, Rog, I will never leave you if you never leave me”_ Brian promised, and God, how much Roger loves to hear those words.

“You are stuck with me forever” he laughs. Right now he is truly happy, they are good, Brian is good, everything is good again.

“ _I will be back soon, Rog, I promise”_

He knows he will. And he can’t wait.


	35. Chapter XXXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short, but very cute chapter

He never thought he would really enjoy reading biology books. It is great to have a degree and he’s always been - modestly - a smart person, he could’ve done whatever course he wanted, but he never liked spending his time and energy with those things, unlike Brian. 

But right now he’s invested in a pregnancy book that he had to buy in the second year and is finally reading it like he should have done before. He just got out of an appointment with Dr Jones and they talked about Braxton Hicks, and that’s why he is spending a very lovely lunch time at the stall reading, while waiting for Freddie to bring their lunch. He is almost useless to the stall now, the two ladies are working double to cover for him, as he is in the counter or at the back the whole time.

At the 34th week of the pregnancy, Freddie said he should stay at home, but he doesn’t feel like it, not right now. Since Brian is away he doesn’t feel their flat in the same way as before, it’s just him, lucky now he can spend his time in the nursery, a completely different place that feels different, smells different and makes him feel at peace.

But god, it’s getting really difficult to read, fortunately Freddie arrives with his fish n chips, that he really really wants to eat, and this time he didn’t blame the baby, well, in his own mind, but to make Freddie walk four blocks to buy him the food he  _ had _ to say to him it is because of the baby, he will do anything if he blames the baby. The truth is that Brian’s child is very healthy and only likes fruits and vegetables and he really hopes they will collaborate and keep the greasy food down. It is his body, he has to have his own pleasure too.

“Thank god, I’m starving” he says, grabbing the package.

“You were eating strawberries when I left” 

“I’m starving for real food”

Freddie hums in response and joins him behind the counter. “Still reading?”

“Yeah, but had to stop, I can’t fucking see” he explains with his mouth full, why stop eating when you have to talk if you can do both?

“You are 25 and already like this? I thought you were only half blind” Freddie jokes. Roger always had problems with his eyes, but he hates to wear glasses, he says it is not fashion and there’s no way he will wear those horrendous things. Only sunglasses, but those he can’t wear inside, so he always opted for not seeing things instead.

“The pregnancy makes it worse, I think, there’s a lot of hormones bullshit and I’m always the one that loses, so unfair” he complains, but it is not that he hates being pregnant, he is actually enjoying it for the past couple of weeks, his body hurts, he can’t see properly, but he can sing and read and communicate to the baby and they always reply, it’s magical.

“You are a spoiled little bitch, Roger Taylor”

“Oh, I know, and you love spoiling me” he blows his friend a kiss, he doesn’t mind.

  
  


He learnt to enjoy spending some time alone in their flat, and it’s probably because he is not alone anymore. He has been talking “alone” since he found out about the baby, but now it is real, so he doesn’t feel like a freak just mumbling around the house to no one.

So he sat on the couch with a big bowl of fruit, turned on the television and stopped in a music channel. A very cool song started playing, he never heard it before, probably the band just released it and is promoting the video. He catches the beat of the drums and taps on the bump, the baby answers kicking back, he laughs, it doesn’t hurt, it is a good feeling, almost like the one he feels in his skin when he is tapping, but from the inside. The baby is keeping the rhythm, but he knows it is just his imagination, but it is good and he does the same with the next song.

He has the bowl supported in the belly, and when Something, by The Beatles, started playing, he had to pick it quickly to not fall. He looks down to see what happened, he raises his shirt and sees a very different scene. He knows it can happen, but it is so odd really seeing it, a tiny foot, happily kicking. He smiles.

“You are a little drummer, aren’t you?”

That night he spends two good hours talking to Brian, he’s in such a good mood, he is so happy, he never thought he would be this happy at this point of his life. When Brian said that he had to go to another country in other to get his degree, Roger was strong, he said he should go and he would be forever by his side, he wasn’t lying, but he was sad that he had to be left behind, then, when he was alone, he found out about the pregnancy and didn’t have the guts to tell him, he spent many nights alone, crying, thinking about what the hell he should do. Well, he still didn’t tell Brian, but things are moving faster and he, finally, can enjoy what he has. He doesn’t like to say those things, but he is grateful and he will get what the world is giving him.

“Bri?”

“ _ Yes?” _

“You know I love you, right?”

“ _ If it is how much I love you, I know _ ” they both smile.

“Can we sing?” 

“ _ I thought you would never ask” _

And it feels like the three of them are already together.


	36. Chapter XXXVI

Roger never thought he would want to stay at home, but when they reached the last month he shyly asked Freddie if he could already start maternity leave. At the beginning he thought he would keep working until the due date and everything would be fine, after all he is alone at home, but it is a new experience teaching him that he doesn’t know anything about life and his own body and mind.

I have control, I can still do whatever I want, he kept saying.

But all those things are bullshit, because he fucking can’t control what is happening. Of course Freddie was happy to let him stay at home, saying that he will check on him, daily. But the truth is, Roger wants to be alone.

It is so contradictory, what his mind is making him do. He doesn’t feel embarrassed anymore, not having told Brian, because he is feeling he is coming home soon. In this stage of the pregnancy, despite the pains he feels all over his body and the ever less mobility, he feels at peace. He is not thinking about the birth and the difficulties it will bring, apparently his mind decided not to think about it yet, despite being at week 36. 

So he started washing the baby’s clothes. There are so many, he bought more clothes than necessary, it’s like he’s having twins. And they are so little, he spent the whole hour watching the little pieces of clothing dancing in the washing machine. The most delicate pieces he will wash himself, not wanting to risk. The wardrobe in the nursery is almost empty, but he smiles at the thought that tomorrow it will be full of clothes ready to be put straight away in the baby.

He wonders when he will have to go out to buy new clothes. Will the baby grow quickly? He thinks so, they probably have Brian’s genes to it, so definitely they will have long legs. Will Brian be here to go shopping with him? Probably. He said that he managed to shorten the work in two months, so in another two months he will be back. The baby will be one month old. Perfect, the time he needs to adapt to the new life.

The next day the clothes were already dry, so he set himself to iron them. He never did ironing before, his own clothes usually have a fabric that don’t need to do it, and when Brian needs his shirt ironed he does it himself, or asks his mum. He finds the iron and thinks a little before turning it on, he decides to do it either way and finds it quite easy. Maybe it is his nature that despite never doing it before he, somehow, knows how to be a housewife. His back hurts because he has to stay standing in a way that the belly does not touch the edge of the table, still he spent the whole day doing it. Later that day he did not let Freddie in, not because he didn’t want to have dinner with him and chat a little, but because he fell asleep at six pm, only to wake up with the phone ringing, thankfully, he couldn’t have missed Brian call.

The other day he started cleaning the nursery floor, he rearranged the toys and the teddy bears and spent the whole day there. The nursing chair is so comfortable that he decided to even take the telephone there and just enjoy the, still, quiet place. He covers himself in the first blanket that he bought, that with the stars, and choses one teddy bear, the one Ruth gave to them, the one that was Brian’s. It still has his scent, so he stays hours there with a nice feeling, not a nostalgic one, but one that sees a bright and happy future.

  
  


“Rog?” It is a very lovely Friday afternoon, not too cold and not too hot, a perfect day to go out and walk in the park. He can hear Freddie calling him from the door. He locked it, as he doesn’t like the idea of strangers trying to open the door.

He suddenly felt an urge to clean the house and make a nest in the room. This last task that his mind, out of nowhere, made him do, he already did. He picked some blankets, pillows, clothes, his, Brian’s and the baby’s and carefully organized them on the floor. Will he use it? Probably not, but he knows that he feels much better seeing his little fortress there, he knows he can’t fight his instinct, so he will do it without questioning.

But now he is cleaning the kitchen, he has already vacuumed the living room, just to make sure it is not completely dirty, but the kitchen is in a much worse situation. He can’t move the table, so he’s trying to clean with the broom without seeing much under it.

“What?” he yells back at Freddie, he just can’t leave his cleaning work right now to open the door,  _ it is _ a life or death situation. 

“Can’t you just open the door?” 

“No” he shouts as he tries to bend down a little, it’s not easy, but thankfully he is already finishing the kitchen floor.

“Why the fuck not?”

“Don’t curse in front of the neighbors”

Freddie laughs. “You are definitely a parent already. Now open the door.”

“I can’t, I’m busy” he moves to the cupboard, the poor furniture didn’t see a cleaning probably since they moved in, so he starts taking the utensils out.

“So I’m gonna knock down this damn door. In one, two...”

Roger decided not to take the chance, he really doesn’t have the money to change his door, but it takes him a moment to get up. “I’m already fucking going”

When he opened the door, Freddie was impatiently tapping his feet. He didn’t say a word after he took a step to enter the flat, but Roger stopped him. “No, take off your shoes.”

“What?”

“You heard me, take off your shoes?”

“But why?”

“Because I’m saying so”

“Yes, already a parent, I can swear I saw my mother right now” but of course Freddie did as he was told. 

Roger also didn’t pay him any attention, he is always there, so it’s not like he needs to host him every time. When he was going to the kitchen again, he heard his friend laughing. He turned around to face him, he didn’t ask, but he was staring at him like he wanted to kill Freddie for laughing.

“My, Brian would go crazy if he saw you like this right now” and he laughs more, Roger still didn’t get it, why is it so funny?

“What are you talking about, you insane?”

Out of curiosity and as Freddie kept laughing and didn’t answer him, he went to the bedroom to look at himself in the big mirror in the wardrobe. He tied his hair in a ponytail, but half of it is already out; he is sweating, so his face is wet; his big shirt, to cover the bump, is also half wet because of the water he was using to clean the floor, as the pants bar.

“Yes, only Brian would be crazy to want me like this” he says as he comes back to the kitchen. 

“Don’t say things like this, darling, you look cute” Freddie winks and Roger throws a dishcloth at him.

“Now shut up and help me cleaning this mess”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: some action!


	37. Chapter XXXVII

Since he started having the Braxton Hitch contractions Roger thought he could handle everything. They don’t hurt, but are uncomfortable, he always has to stop what he is doing to focus and let it pass. He is living with it and doesn’t bother anymore when it happens. Freddie, on the other hand, always freaks out, thinking that the time is coming, thankfully he has Deaky that already went through it to calm the other down.

The only time that he had the fake contractions and didn’t have to stop was once when he was talking to Brian, he was listening to him saying something about the birds that go every morning in his window and he was so into that little monologue that he didn’t even had to take a breath and focus on the Braxton Hitch. Magical, he knows, he would be in heaven if he had Brian here with him for the birth.

Oh, the birth, he has a birth plan. Doctor Jones asked him what he wanted to do, he said that no way he is going to do it at home, he knows it is better because of the environment and all, he and the baby will already be in their home, but what’s the point in mobilize a team of the clinic, it’s a waste of time and energy, Brian won’t be there either way, so he rather do it there, in the clinic, with pain medicines and the hospital if something goes wrong. So he will just go to the hospital when he feels it’s the time. 

She also asked him to designate an alpha to accompany him, and he gave Freddie’s name, for the other companions he gave John’s and Ruth’s name. They already know it, so it’s settled. 

The bag with the baby’s stuff is also ready. Well, actually he does, undoes and redoes it many times. Which clothes should he put in it? Which clothes will he put on the baby to return home? He has no idea. Yellow? Or should he go with white? Will it be cold or hot weather?

Now he regrets a little to not know if the baby is a boy or a girl, it would be much easier to decide the little outfit. He can imagine a little girl, exactly like him, blond hair and blue eyes, but she will be tall, Brian will be wrapped around her fingers, and Roger will love every moment of it, she will be a drummer and will love nature, she will be adventurous and fearless. But he also can imagine a little boy, exactly like Brian, dark and curly hair, hazel eyes, he will also be tall, he needs his kids to be tall, he will look at his son and see the imagine of his father, he will do everything to him, he will be a guitarist and will love the stars, he will be shy and smart.

Roger likes to think that he is ready.

But he isn’t ready now.

He feels a stronger contraction, it is not painful, but definitely stronger than the contractions he had before. He starts wondering if this is it. It's week 38, so the baby is already full term, they can be born perfectly. But he is not counting on doing it right now.

When it passed he decided to do something it’s been ages since he’s done. Actually he never did it without Brian. Actually he doesn’t even know if he is allowed to do it. So he goes to the bedroom and grabs its case and takes to the bed. He opens it. She hadn’t seen the light in nine months. He picks her up and places her in his legs, he can’t play properly because of the big belly, but sitting down will be easier. He looks at her, the beloved guitar that Brian built with his father… will Brian want to do something like that with their child too? 

He plays some strings and tunes them. It is strange to do it alone, this is Brian's signature. He plays something soft, but at the end of the song he feels the same contraction again. This can't be. It's not right. He has two more weeks to prepare! And he is alone!

But he won’t take a chance, no. What if it’s not a long birth and if he waits longer he will have the baby here? No, he needs to go to the clinic. He gets up and puts the Red Special in her case again, leaving her on the bed.

First he thinks about calling Brian and telling him. He will be a little desperate, but at least… but he has no idea where he is and if he can find him in the house, it could take minutes, minutes that he may not have! Then he picks up the phone and dials the number of the only person that can help and understand him.

“John?” he doesn’t even let him talk. “I need you to go to the clinic, please, meet me there in 10, don’t ask, please. I love you.” He hangs up and goes to the nursery to pick up the bag. There he feels another contraction. He can’t wait any longer.

When he goes down the stairs and enters the car, he prays that another contraction doesn’t hit while he is driving. It’s very difficult driving like this, but he has no other option.

Every red light is a torture and he can’t hit the gas because he can’t risk an accident. He tries to breath and focus, the baby is also a little impatient, despite that they are moving less now. 

The drive seems eternity and he is relieved when he parks. Then he starts laughing, he really drove himself there.

  
  


John really wasn’t understanding. He was just going out to work when the phone rang, Robert was already with his mum so everything is ready for his plan: he and Ronnie will have a date night. But then Roger asked him to go to the clinic? And he doesn’t explain why, what is happening and why he called him? He curses Brian, despite knowing that he doesn’t have a clue about what is happening and this is 100% Roger’s fault, but he does have a bad timing in leaving to another country right after knocking up his boyfriend.

So instead of going to work, he went to the clinic. He has to be there for his friend, it is one of his duties and he knows Brian trusts him and Freddie to let Roger live and not just survive. And this is a very difficult moment, he remembers his own experience, nine months ago, he was already feeling awful and Ronnie was there with him all the time. By the end of the pregnancy she also took maternity leave and spent all the time with him, very helpful having your partner with you, but it can’t help but being uncomfortable and full of mood swings. He can’t imagine how it is for Roger without Brian, so the least he can do right now is trying to put Roger second in his priority list. Robert will always be the first.

“I’m here for Roger Taylor, please” he says at the reception to that lovely lady that he met the day he went there with Roger, she opens a smile and guides him to the room. So Roger is in a room, this either can’t be a good thing or is a good thing meaning that the baby will be born today.

When he opens the door a doctor is examining his friend. Roger has an annoyed expression, but it is normal. He sits down on a very comfortable couch by the side of the bed, he really loves private clinics and really wishes he had the money to pay for one, but he doesn’t say a word, just nods to Roger to let him know he is here for him.

“When did you start having those harder contractions?” The doctor asks, apparently he already finished the exam.

“I don’t know, about two hours ago?” Roger says in a doubtful ton. Oh, now John knows what happened, Roger probably thought it was the birth contractions, it is kind of cute the way he is worried, it is so normal to mistake the contractions, but Roger has been reading many books… wait… if he is here alone, did he come alone?

“Ok, it’s normal, you are not dilated, and this baby won’t come out anytime sooner. I know you are anxious, but the time will come. You can go, just try to relax, some yoga will do good” the doctor is also very friendly and Deaky likes him already, it’s not that his doctor wasn’t good, but he was always in a hurry and treated him like he treats everybody, oh, the differences when you are paying…

“Thank you, doctor Andersen” Roger says and after the doctor left the room, he looked at his friend.

“What?” John asks, Roger is not with the same face he had seconds ago, at first he was looking good, at ease, but now he is starting to get desperate. At least they are in a hospital.

“Sorry… but I was…” he doesn’t let him finish, he goes to the bed and hugs him. That’s why he called him and not Freddie, because he understands, and he does.

“It’s ok, Rog, it’s your first pregnancy, it’s ok to have a false alarm” they stayed like this for a while, just feeling each other's calm scent, until Deaky helped him change back to his clothes so they can leave.

“It’s not just that… it’s just… I don’t know…” Roger is struggling with finding the right words to express what he is feeling, but he wants to, he needs to share, it’s not a thing he would share with the doctor, but it is so important to him too. “Everything hurts, you know? I can’t find a comfortable position any more” they laugh, not finding it funny, it’s more of an acknowledged laugh. “The baby may not be born today, but they will in two weeks and they don’t even have a name, and I haven’t told Brian and everything is moving so fast that I don’t even know…”

Roger sighs and despite not knowing what to do either and not having a solution, Deaky has a thing that maybe will help. “Come on, let’s go to my house, I have ice cream, we can share”

Roger smiles. “Yeah, it’s a good plan”


	38. Chapter XXXIII

The days are passing painfully slow.

And by painfully he really means it. He knew it was going to happen, he was actually prepared for it, he had long hot showers, hot thermal bags and a ball. When he was feeling stronger pains he did one of those things. 

The hot showers usually in the mornings or nights, before Brian called, so before bed; the thermal bags all the time, really, Ruth brought them to him and said that he should put them in his back to relieve some of the pressure; and the ball is from when he is bored, Doctor Jones gave one to him saying that it will be good for the birth, that it can help a lot, but he’s not sure if he wants to use it, it’s kind of funny now, but during the real birth he is sure he will only want pain medicines and that it finishes soon.

But still, all those things don’t prevent him from wanting the only thing that would really help: Brian. He knows it would be different with him, having his scent and protective mood around would make everything better. But it’s not like this and he needs to be content with the teddy bear that still smells like him.

Ruth, Freddie and John take turns to stay with him, Freddie is usually the one that spends the night, as he would never let Deaky stay away from his own house and kid, and they don’t have a spare room anymore for Ruth to sleep in, so poor Jim that is left without his boyfriend…

Roger really appreciates his friends and family support and efforts to keep him company and make sure he is ok, he will never admit it, but it’s exactly what he needs, he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and he knows that after it passes he will never be alone again, and he can’t wait for it.

It seems like the due date will never arrive, the days are so slow, his movements are limited and the only thing he can do to pass time is to listen to the radio, watch bad TV shows or just stare at whoever is with him, as subjects for making a conversation are scarce.

That night he started thinking about names. The baby will be born in less than a week and they still don’t have a name. He thought about maybe a neutral name, like Chris, and then he decides which name it will be, but he went against it because he didn’t want the baby to get used to get called with this name and then after they are born he will change his mind, or worse, if Brian will hate the name and say he never wanted his kid to have this name.

Freddie was making God know what in the kitchen, and Roger is sincerely scared of asking him what it is, but he calls him to the bedroom because he feels the need to complain to another human being that will actually make a conversation with him.

“Is everything ok, darling?” He enters the room with a dishcloth on his shoulder.

“Yes, it’s just, I’ve been thinking…” Roger starts, but his friend interrupts him.

“Oh, that’s very dangerous” Freddie says in a serious tone.

“Shut up”

“Ok” and they laughed before Roger started talking again.

“This baby here still doesn’t have a name and I honestly don’t know what to do”

Freddie sits on the bed besides him. “You don’t have a name or…?” he pries, he has a suspicion, but he wants his friend to talk about it. He never talks to them about missing Brian, about telling Brian or anything that he does with Brian. It’s not healthy to keep things like this to himself.

“Or!!! How will I choose a name alone? Brian can’t come home and I can’t just say ‘surprise we have a baby’ and then also surprise him with the name, I mean, it’s our child’s entire life, he needs to have a say on it too…” And Roger thinks it’s not fair to do it to him.

“I think you should just ask him, the name he would like, I mean” it was the only solution Freddie could think of. What else will he say? 

“How?” Roger looks at his friend like he just said an impossible thing to do.

“I know you will find a way” he pats his shoulder and gets up. Roger groans. It’s going to be a long night.

  
  


Freddie was almost sleeping when the phone rang, Roger was caressing his head and it was so good, he jumped with the noise, everything was so calm, the silence so good. Roger laughed as the second ring echoed in the room, Freddie knows his friend doesn’t like people prying in his talk with Brian, so he gets up to leave to another room, not before trying to signal Roger for him to remember to finally talk to Brian about the baby.

Roger was feeling anxious, having Freddie by his side was helping, but not much. He needed the silence, but he knows his friend is a very loud person, so he appreciates him accepting the cuddling and then, of course, respecting his privacy. He knows he wants him to tell Brian, but he’s still not sure.

“Hello, love” he answers in the third ring, after he is sure that Freddie is not listening anymore.

“ _ Hi babe, how are you today?” _

“You know I’m better now” he says, they always joke about it, but tonight it’s true, he is much better after just hearing him asking how he is. And then hearing his laugh.

“ _ That’s good to hear… I have some good news for you, then…” _

“Good news?” The only good news he can think about is Brian coming home like, right now, the rest are only partly good news.

“ _ Yes, I think you will like it” _

“So stop teasing and tell me!”

“ _ I almost finished here… I’ll go home sooner than you think” _ Roger’s heartbeat is getting faster and faster, but he can’t show how eager he is, or can’t he? He thinks he can, after all it  _ is _ his boyfriend, no, fiance, future husband, father of his child, that he doesn’t see in nine months.

“Brian Harold May, don’t keep teasing me, sooner when?” He pretends he is mad, but he is not, not at all.

“ _ You will see…” _ He can hear the smile in his voice, and he smiles too. He knows how hard it is to Brian too, if a graduation is not easy, he can’t imagine how a PhD is.

“Bri?” He decides to ask, he has to.

“ _ Yes? _ ”

“Can I ask you something?” He asks in a low voice, thankfully everything is silent also where Brian is. He is a little scared, but he needs to do it, it’s the only way he can give birth to this baby without so much worrying.

“ _ Of course, love, you can ask me whatever you want _ ”

“If we have a baby, which name would you like?”

“ _ Hm…” _ he thinks for some seconds. “ _ For a girl, I like Margot, but also Ana, it’s more simple _ ”

“And for a boy?” He wonders.

“ _ I never thought about a boy’s name, actually _ ” Brian says, a little embarrassed.

“Really?” Roger asks, but he doesn’t judge, they never talked about their preferences when it comes to start a family, and it is just natural for Brian to want a baby girl, he’s an only child, it’s not like him that grew up with a sister and really doesn’t mind if the baby is a boy or a girl.

“ _ Really… Did you think about names _ ?” It’s fair for him to ask back, after all, to him, it is a normal conversation, not an actual conversation about a real baby.

“I like your girl's name… and for boys, Aaron or Matt, I don’t know…” He did think about some names and he does like the names Brian suggested.

“ _ I think they are perfect… _ ”

Brian says, and then silence. They stay about a minute just hearing each other’s breath. Until Brian asked.

“ _ Do you want kids?” _

“Yes, everything I want is to have kids with you… Do you?” If only he knew...

“ _ Yes, I just want to be happy by your side, having kids with you is just a part of it _ ”

He smiles.

“I love you”

“ _ I love you more _ ”


	39. Chapter XXXIV

The next morning he was still thinking about the conversation he had with Brian the previous night. He woke up early and got up quietly without waking Freddie. He wasn’t hungry, which is not a normal thing, but he didn't think too much about it, he made a cup of tea and went to the couch.

He turned on the television to watch the early news, but they didn’t get his attention. Brian had said that he will come home sooner than he thinks, what did he mean by it? Automatically he looks to the door, but this sooner is too soon, they talked six hours ago, it is impossible to take a plane and be home in so little time. But a man can dream.

After some time on the couch, his back is hurting like hell, so he decides to spend some time in the nursery as Freddie is still fast asleep. In that he envies his friend and all the other people that are not pregnant, they can sleep so easily, they don’t have a baby pressing their bladders so they don’t go to the bathroom every hour, they can move easily and they can roll on the bed. Despite this, he likes being pregnant, those are the only things he won’t miss. He will miss the kicks and the interaction he has with the baby, it’s different and he created a bond that he knows will be unbreakable, it’s just the two of them for now, they needed it.

He sits on the very comfortable chair, he sighs and closes his eyes for a second. He feels something different, a pressure in his pelvis, he never felt it before. He tries to think, he doesn’t want to get all desperate like last week, he’s sure if he goes to the clinic again with a false alarm they will laugh. It soon stopped and he’s thankful for it.

After a good half hour resting his back, he decided to get up to see if Freddie is already awake, he has to leave soon for work and Roger can’t let him be late. The bedroom’s door was still closed, so he went back to the kitchen to make some coffee for his friend.

Before he heard the door opening he felt something. He had a cup in his hand that he held strong to not let it fall. He looked down and realized that his water had broken. This is it, this is really a movie scene, he is standing in the middle of his kitchen and the first sign is the water breaking. Great. He doesn’t feel a pain, just the same odd feeling he felt before.

He waited there for about five minutes and that feeling came back. He finally holds the bottom of the bump and feels it’s harder than the normal, it’s really a contraction. He looks up again and sees Freddie coming in the kitchen, unaware of what is happening.

“I can’t believe I’m already late”

“Fred?”

“Yes?” And he looks at Roger.

“Call Deaky”

“Ok” Freddie says and Roger can tell he is starting panicking. He goes back to the bedroom and the blond finally moves, he follows Freddie, but his movements are even slower. He picks comfortable clothes and decides to take a shower. A shower will be good.

“What are you doing?” Freddie asks after he hung up the phone. “Deaky will be here soon, don’t worry”

“You don’t worry, I’ll take a shower” he says calmly.

“Shower?” He doesn’t even answer, he doesn’t have the time, literally, to calm Freddie down, it will be Deaky’s problem when he arrives.

The shower feels good, but he wished Brian was with him, he is calm now, but his alpha with him would be perfect. Getting dry pants gave him another mood. When he got out John was already there, of course, telling Freddie that everything will be ok and he shouldn’t worry too much.

“How are you feeling?” John asks him.

“Fine, the contraction already started, so…”

“I’ll pick the bag” Freddie gets up and disappears to the nursery.

“Thank you for being here, Deaks, it means a lot” he’s really getting emotional now, isn’t he?

“I know how you’re feeling, you will do great”

They go down to where John parked his car, Roger wanted to go with his own, but he doesn’t let anyone drive it, except Brian, and he can’t quite drive it himself, so he has no other option. The drive was quiet, only the soft music playing on the radio, the contraction hit again and they are 20 minutes apart, this time he feels a little more pain, maybe it’s the anxiety, he doesn’t know.

He will finally meet his baby, after nine months.

When they arrive at the clinic, Freddie checks him in and he is a little disappointed that it’s not that lady at the reception, the one that knows Brian and he forgot her name.

They put him in a room very similar to the one he was the week before, just this time the room has a shower, a bath and is a little larger. It doesn’t feel homy, but it’s better to have safety.

“I also called Ruth, she’s coming” Freddie told him after he changed his clothes and was laying in the bed. He’s not sure what to do right now.

“Thank you, Fred”

They were all settled in when Doctor Jones arrived, she made all the exams and had a surprised face. “Well, you are more dilated than I thought, if everything goes at the same speed, the labor may last another five or six hours” she smiles at him. Roger is not sure if it is a good or bad thing, it’s good because there’s been about an hour and half since the water broke and he, hopefully, won’t have a day long birth, but at the same time he also wished that the baby would be born, like, right now. “It will help if you move around, you can use the ball, the bath, anything you want. Call me or one of the nurses if you feel something different or just feel that it evolved.”

Roger thanks her and decides to walk a little.

As the time passes the contractions become more and more painful, he’s getting even more anxious and no positions are good. He takes another shower, he sits on the bed, on the ball, he lays down, he walks around the room, in the meantime Ruth also arrived and sat with the boys.

The contractions are not stable in minutes, it’s getting nearer in each one. In this moment he couldn’t take anymore, he was strong up to this point, right no he can’t be anymore.

"I can't do this alone, no" he is in the middle of a contraction, they are ten minutes apart and he is not fully dilated yet. But as the moment is arriving faster and faster, he is more sure that he won't be able to do this.

Why did he let the situation lead to this? Why all those months ago he didn't tell Brian? Why was he so stupid in thinking that he would be able to do this alone?

He looks at his friends. He loves them, but it is not the same. He wants Brian, he needs Brian. 

"We are here with you, honey" it is Ruth who speaks. She is holding his hand, and despite the contractions had already stopped, he is still holding her hand very tight. 

And then he starts crying. What will he do? The baby needs to be born now, it’s not what he wants, but what the baby needs. He’s waited for nine months for this moment, he had time to get ready and he really thought he was. He really thought that only his friends would be enough, but it’s not. Physically he feels fine and ready, but emotionally he feels tired, and those two parts of his are fighting.

"I can't do this without Brian. I need him" In this moment he has another contraction, now five minutes apart. This is going faster now, faster than he expected and he can't believe in it.

"No no no" The baby can't be born right now, not when he is alone.

"Freddie, go and call Brian" John asks him, he can’t think about anything else, Roger is stubborn but maybe if he hears Brian’s voice it will make it a little easier.

"But…" He starts protesting, but it is a life or death situation.

"There's nothing we can do" Freddie sights and leaves to room to look for a phone.

Roger is listening to his friends, but is not paying attention, he is trying to focus and think how he will do this. But then he hears someone telling the security to make them go there, the door is closed, but he still can hear it. Roger thinks he is hallucinating and in this moment another contraction hits him. He closes his eyes. Did he just hear Brian's voice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for taking that long to post this chapter, but as the sports are coming back I have a lot of work to do in my evenings... Next chapter I promise we'll be here by the weekend!


	40. Chapter XL

Brian knew something was wrong. He should have gotten home sooner. He should have pushed more to Roger to tell him what was happening. He feels betrayed. If it is what he suspects, it is almost time… no, they wouldn't do this to him, would they? Probably everyone knows, their friends, his parents… Oh…

No, each thought is worse than the previous one. It was his father. He was the one who always said that he should put his studies first, that he should focus on getting that PhD before committing with an omega and a family. No, he can't believe that they did this. 

If he is about to have a son or a daughter… he might be a fool but not that much. He knows if Roger is pregnant then the due date is fastly approaching. And that's why he was acting so weird. He thought it was the distance, but it was just him spending a difficult period without him. How could he not realize it? What kind of partner is he, what kind of father will he be? A father that doesn't know a thing about his child. A father that hadn't even put them first.

Because he would. He would give up everything to be with his family. And his father knows it.

When the plane landed, he did everything in a blur. He doesn't even remember picking his bag and entering in the cab. He was going home.

He thought about surprising Roger. He did finish his thesis in a record time. He spent so many days without sleeping, just so he could be home early. Of course he still has some things to do, but he can do it at home. 

But Rogers' talk about babies yesterday made him think. Why would Roger want to know which name he would like to put in a fictional baby? It is because the baby isn't fictional. 

He got home, but nobody was there. He went to their room and there he found a blanket, he recognized it as being his. He picked it up. It smells like them. Probably Roger slept with it and now the blanket has their mixed scent. 

He is scared as he goes to the guest room's door. It is closed and he doesn't know if he wants to find out what is inside. He opens the door slowly. At first he sees a crib. Then a chair. He looks up and sees stars painting on the roof. The planet's decoration. These are the things he sees. There's much more. But his eyes go there. There's everything a baby needs. And he feels Roger did everything by himself. 

But where is Roger?

He goes back to their room and picks the phone. He calls his parent's house. It rings and after some time he hears his father's voice.

“Dad?”

"Brian? Are you ok?" His father asks, as he is truly worried. Brian knows he never calls this time, but he won't buy whatever his father will try to say.

"No, dad, I'm not ok. Why did you lie to me?" He doesn't say anything for a while, waiting to hear the reaction.

Nothing.

"What did you say to him?"

Nothing.

"Dad, what did you say to Roger? Why when I come home I see a fucking nursery?"

He usually doesn't swear in front of his parents, but it is too much. He is much more than angry.

"Are you home?"

"Yes I am. But answer me. What. Did. You. Say. To. Roger?"

He hears his father taking a deep breath. 

”Brian, it is…” He starts talking, but Brian realizes he doesn't want to hear it. He already knows enough. 

"I can't believe it. You manipulate him. You know how he is, you know that he suffered his entire life with his own father and then he goes there and trusts you and you do this? You betrayed me and you manipulated the man I love. I can't believe you went that down just for me to… I can't believe you let him go through all of this alone"

He is red in his fury. He never talked to his father like this, but it is about  _ his _ family.

"I'm sorry, son, but we all did what was best for all of you." He pauses. "And I think you should go, it's been one hour that your mother left."

"What?" He is not understanding, what does his mother have to do with it?

"Your friend called and Roger is in labor… he is in the same clinic you were born in" that last sentence Harold says in a hurry because Brian is already hanging up the phone.

He never drove so fast in his life, he is not even sure how he knows the way to the clinic. He realizes it is the first time he drives Roger’s car, he has a passion for this car that he never saw something like this. And if it was in the garage, someone took him to the clinic. He smiles a little at his thought that probably Roger would drive himself to have the baby, or maybe even do the birth himself. 

He still can’t believe it. It is worse than he thought before, he doesn’t even have time to prepare himself. He is about to become a father. All the insecurities he had before came all the way. How will he manage to take care of his family? Will the baby recognize him? Will he be a good parent?

He parks in front of the clinic. It is the clinic he was born in, now Dr Andersen has it a lot bigger than almost 30 years ago. He never went there and he knows where it is because it is in his childhood house neighborhood. He is sure he will get a ticket today, either for speeding or for parking not in the right way. 

He runs, he is already late, too late. No matter if his child is already in this world or not, he already missed so much time. A young woman is in the reception. He asks Roger's name and he is indeed there. He explains that he is his alpha, the baby's father and that he wants to go in there. To add in his stress and fury, the woman says that there's already an alpha with him and that there's no registration that he is the father.

He doesn't have time for this bullshit. He looks at the signs and sees which way he should go. He passes the reception ignoring the woman's complaints. He runs again. He has no idea in which room Roger is. What will he do? 

He can't think too much because a couple of securities stop him. He explains to them what is happening, that he must go in there. But they don't want to let him. He feels like he is about to punch them. It is too much, he needs to get to Roger, really, his life depends on it. 

"Brian?"

"Freddie? How is Roger? Where is he?"

"Sir, you still don't have the authorisation to go in there"

"Thank God you are here… wait, why are you here? It doesn't matter, Roger is begging for you."

The securities look at each other. "Please, I need to be there with him" Brian begs again. He is getting tired and now he knows that Roger is asking for him…

"We will take you there, but if the omega doesn't want you there we will have to arrest you" one of the security guards says.

He doesn't care about it.

When they open the door he sees that blond hair that he hadn't seen in nine months. The most beautiful blue eyes were closed. He can feel that Roger is in so much pain, but is holding it. He hears him murmuring something like "I won't do this". His own mother is by his side. He is half laying and half standing in the bed. It doesn't seem like a comfortable position. Brian then looks at his middle. There is a big baby bump. A baby that soon will be in this world.

"Love?"


	41. Chapter XLI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's national holiday and I had time to write, so... another chapter!

Roger opens his eyes when he hears the voice. It is Brian. It really is Brian. He blinks and then closes his eyes again. He opens them again. He can’t believe it. 

"Bri?" He asks, he has to. He doesn’t remember about the surprise Brian had for him, that he said he would be home sooner than he thought. No, right now he thinks it is a miracle, that Brian heard him asking for him.

"I'm here, Rog, I'm here" Brian gets closer and kneels beside the bed.

"I'm sorry, Bri"

"Don't be. I love you" he kisses his forehead. He is already sweating and exhausted. But now he has another strength. Brian really heard him and is now here with him. Now he feels strong, like he can really do it.

“I love you too” he says, he wants to kiss him, he wants to kiss him so badly. He imagined that in their reunion he would jump on Brian and would never let him go, well, he would have needed to introduce their baby too, and then they would spend days together, he would not even let Brian leave his side.

But right now the situation is different. “Help me stand up” he asks Brian, he needs to properly welcome him back.

Brian gets up on his feet too and takes his hand, he supports himself and stands up. He smiles. He missed how tall Brian is, how he has to lean down a little to kiss him. And it’s exactly what he does, their lips meet in a very tender kiss that Roger almost forgets he is in the middle of labour.

“I missed you” they say together and they both laugh. It’s like they didn’t see each other in a lifetime, but at the same time they feel like they’ve never been apart.

“I think I need to walk a little,” he says still with his lips near Brian’s. He remembers that the last contraction hit after five minutes, if the time continues like this, the next will be in three minutes, he needs to get ready.

“I’ll look for doctor Jones” Ruth says, neither of them paid too much attention, although they know that having a doctor right now is very important. They don’t even realize Freddie and John are leaving the room too, they both knew Roger wanted them there because of Brian was not, but right now he’s here in flesh and bone and everything Roger needs is him, their complete family.

“How are you feeling?” Brian asks as they pace the room, Roger really hopes it will finish soon, but before he can answer another contraction hits, he hugs Brian thighly, that caresses his back. It’s a long minute, but it’s not the same he had before, definitely his alpha’s scent helps a lot.

“Fine, I think I need the bed” he answers after the contraction stopped. He didn’t count the gap between them, but really, right now he doesn’t care.

“I have an idea” Brian sits on the bed with his back against the pillows and opens his legs, he gestures to Roger to sit down, with difficulty he manages, the pain is there the whole time now, not just during the contractions, but laying against Brian’s chest makes it bearable.

Brian puts a hand on the bump, Roger can feel the baby is very low. “Hey little one, it’s me, your dad, we can’t wait to meet you.”

Brian couldn’t believe what was happening, 24 hours ago he planned on surprising Roger, then taking him out on a date tonight and enjoying their time together. But what he said over the phone made everything click and he was right, they will have a baby, that will be here any minute now. He’s happy, how couldn’t he be? This is everything he wanted, he has everything he ever wanted. And how can Roger look so beautiful even like this? He can’t believe how lucky he is, that this man is all his. He will make sure that after this they will finally bond and get married. And they will have their own kid with them!

“Bri?” Roger says as he takes his hands again, he can feel that the baby will come soon, the contractions are more painful and more frequent. 

“Yes?” Brian answers, kissing his forehead again. He wanted to let Roger do it without pain.

“I couldn’t... “ he stops, it is difficult to talk, but he has to “do this without you.”

“I’m here now, it’s all that matters”

After this contraction passed, doctor Jones arrived with two nurses, they look young, like her, not that Roger cares about it right now, he just wants this to be over soon so he can meet his baby.

“Michelle?” Brian asks, Roger looks at him to see a surprised face.

“Brian! I’m glad you made it on time” she says as she puts the gloves on.

“You two know each other?” Roger can’t believe it, he wants to focus on this new discovery, but someone else needs his attention.

“Yeah, we went to school together”

“And Brian has always been the smartest…” She jokes. “Ok, how are you feeling, Roger?” She examines and before he can answer she says “you are full dilated, whenever you feel the need to push, you can”

“I’m ready” he mutters, only Brian hears him, but he is not, he’s anxious, he’s in pain and he never really prepared himself for this moment. Everything he read is not applying to himself, it’s so quick, he’s sure some stages were skipped and he’s been in labor for about nine hours, he expected it to be slower…

He supports his arms in Brian’s arms and he feels it, he can feel the baby going down and it’s so weird, he wants to laugh. He felt the baby kicking inside of him for months, but now he’s finding weird the way the baby is going out. They never prepared him for it in biology class.

He wants to scream, but in this first really really hard contraction he can’t, he doesn’t know why. He stops and takes a deep breath, he can feel his throat is dry and some water would be great, too bad he knows he can’t drink or eat anything right now.

After a minute he feels it again, this time he presses himself against Brian harder, it is too painful. When it stops he realizes he didn’t feel the baby move this time. It goes like this for another five minutes, that he feels is taking longer than the previous hours.

“Ok, Roger, just one more time” Doctor Jones says, but the voice he pays attention to is not hers.

“You are doing great, I’m so proud of you” Brian is whispering in his ears. “Our baby will be here soon, you can do this.”

He nods. He is exhausted and he wants to sleep. But he does it, he does it and this time he screams, the pain is almost unbearable, but he keeps pushing, if he stops they will have to do this again and he’s willing to help his baby.

When he stops he lays his head on Brian’s chest and they hear it. That loud cry of a newborn, their newborn baby. 

“It’s a girl” Doctor Jones says and gives her to the nurses, that will make sure she is a healthy baby. But Roger knows she is, he can feel it. Brian kisses his forehead again. He did it, they did it.

Finally a nurse puts her in his arms and he’s sure he never felt a love like this.

And there she is, their little miracle, the life they created together in a night full of passion, in the worst moment ever. But she's here now, a perfect baby girl in his arms. He is tired, god, but he feels so good. 

He looks up at Brian behind him. He's here too, it's real. Their family is complete.


	42. Chapter XLII

It feels like he slept for days. When he opened his eyes he wasn't sure where he was and what happened. It's just when he smells two amazing scents that he remembered. Brian is back and their baby was born. 

Then he feels sore, everything hurts and he can't barely move, giving birth is exhausting. Alongside the pain in his body there's the thought. 

He opens his eyes and Brian is holding their daughter. He's standing and he's so tall that the baby seems even smaller. How can it be possible? Him being even better with their kid in his arms? It was made to be like this, for the two to be together. Brian will be a perfect father, he already is.

He tries to sit up, but it is still difficult. He remembers that after she was born he refused to let the nurses take her for further exams, he gave her to Brian, that left the position he was in to sit beside them, they stayed like this, cooing all over their newborn baby until eventually they had to give her to the nurse. She didn’t open her eyes yet and Roger really wants to know the color of her eyes, she has little hair, but he can tell they will be blonde. She is just perfect.

Brian realizes he woke up and walks to him. “Welcome back” he says before leaning down and kissing him.

“I should say this to you…” Brian puts the baby in his arms. “Welcome back, Bri, I missed you”

“I missed you too… And I will say that I liked your surprise better” he is smiling and right now Roger knows he’s not mad at him. He feared so much that he would hate him for keeping the pregnancy in secret, but yeah, you can’t be mad when looking to this beautiful face of this little creature they created together.

“I don’t know if I could do this if you hadn’t your surprise” this time he smiles back, both of them looking at the sleeping beauty in Roger’s arms. “But how did you manage to return so soon?”

He looks deep in Brian’s eyes, he looks so tired. “I tried to do everything as quick as I could, then I negotiated with my professor and he let me finish the thesis at the University here”

“Did you sleep?”

Brian sighs, Roger knows he is lacking sleep and the last thing he needs is his fiance collapsing because he didn’t sleep.

“When was the last time you slept?”

“I took a nap on the airplane”

“What time is it?”

“Nine AM”

“She eat?”

“Yes, probably she’ll be hungry again in a couple of hours”

Roger gave her back to him and gestured to put her in the crib, next to the bed. Brian was not understanding, he didn’t let her go since Roger fell asleep, he just stayed there, feeding her with the bottles the nurse gave to him and watching her sleep and then open her eyes when she woke up. He didn’t even let her have the time to cry, already giving to her what she wanted. Then Roger moved a little to give him space to lay on the bed.

“You need to rest too, sleep a little, if she wake up I pick her up”

He lays down beside him, it feels good being with Roger again, even if today is in a hospital bed, he missed his warmth. Roger puts his head on his chest, Brian puts his arm around him. They enjoy the proximity they didn’t have in months, Brian can feel the tiredness, but then he remembers a very important thing.

“She still doesn’t have a name”

“Well, I liked your suggestions, she looks more like an Anna, don’t you think? It’s an Italian name too, perfect.”

Brian just nods, he’s happy that Roger agreed with the name. He can’t wait to have her in his arms again and tell her that now she has a name, but right now he will just close his eyes.

He woke up with the noise of a little cry and Roger getting up. Soon the cry stopped and he could hear Roger talking, before opening his eyes he smiled. He is still tired and he feels like he could sleep for days, he knows it is impossible now, but it is for a good reason. He has a daughter now, it is a big responsibility, but he couldn’t be happier. 

When he finally opens his eyes he is greeted with the sight of his fiance with their daughter in his arms, giving her her bottle. Brian thinks about how it was difficult for Roger to spend the whole pregnancy alone, but he also thinks about the bond he created with the baby and that at least he wasn’t completely alone. When the blond was sleeping and Brian was with her the whole night, at first he was scared she wouldn't recognise his voice alone, as he had only held her with Roger around, but she was sleeping peacefully the whole time in his arms.

He was watching Roger when he felt someone staring at him, he turned his head and saw John sitting on the chair. He smiles at him.

“Welcome back, Bri”

“Oh, hi Deaky, thanks” he says, still a little sleepy, but he gets up nonetheless to give his friend a hug, he missed his friends as well too, and John looks different from the last time they saw each other. He seems older and then Brian remembers he still has to meet Robert.

“You look tired”

“Thanks, you look great” he smiles, he really missed Deaky’s sincerity. “Where’s Freddie?” He asks, he already saw him, but they didn’t have the time to talk.

“Didn’t let him in, he would wake up both of you” John says and Roger laughs. Brian walks to him to give him a kiss, he knows he will never get tired of doing this. He enjoys and gives Anna a kiss on her little forehead too, this he is already getting used to do.

“Well?” John gets their attention again. “Now you’ll tell me her name?”

“You didn’t tell him her name?” Brian asks Roger, but he was already expecting it, really. Roger just shrugs.

“No, he said he would only reveal her name when you wake up, well, you are, so…”

“Let Freddie in and I’ll tell you” Roger teases more.

“This way you will give a party to reveal her name…” John says, rolling his eyes and going to the door. Of course before he left Roger had the audacity to say “maybe I will”.

He then sits on the bed again and makes Brian sit with him. They are in the same position they were before falling asleep, but this time their baby is in Roger’s arms.

“You really had to do this, hadn’t you?” he says, stealing another kiss.

“Of course, they deserve it”

  
  


Freddie was in heaven, he was very excited to meet his (not that) unofficial goddaughter. He was jumping since he found out that she’s a girl, he is already making plans on spoiling her and taking her shopping, dressing her, and no one can stop him. But Roger was making it difficult to let him meet her, he knows he needs his time with Brian and to bond with the baby, but it’s also not fair to him! He wants to meet her!

But he wasn’t ready for the load of cuteness. She is so little, her skin is still red-ish and she is a perfect baby girl, she looks like a newborn, but he’s sure she’ll be just like Roger.

John and Freddie fought to hold her as her parents just looked at them in awe, they really missed their time together.

“So? Will you tell us her name now? We can’t call her baby forever” John asks again, he’s really impatient, maybe it is because he already told them the gender and the name of his baby long before Robert was born.

“Or her name is baby?” Freddie tries, he expects everything from them.

“What? No, I wouldn’t have agreed with this” Brian says as Roger looks at him.

“No… her name is Anna”

They both look at her and start fighting again to see who is going to hold her now. Roger looks at them and then at Brian. Thankfully, in the end, despite his insecurities and mistakes, everything went right.

“We are going home soon” he says to Brian and kisses him again. He can’t wait to start this new life with his soon-to-be husband, their newborn daughter and their friends.


	43. Chapter XLIII

Tonight it really feels like going home. Tonight he drove his family home. The fact itself was a surprise, normally Roger doesn't let him drive his car and Brian himself likes the idea of his boyfriend giving him a ride, but tonight everything is different.

Anna is a very calm baby, she doesn’t cry very often, only when she needs to eat or change diapers, but they don’t even let her tell them she needs those things, they are already ready.

“She’s like you” Roger says when they are settling in, him carrying the baby and Brian the bag. “I can feel she has the same personality as you” he is smiling and he smiles too, he’s still not sure if it is a good thing, but if Roger likes it, he likes it too.

The house is tidy, Brian realizes it now, probably Roger was having nesting instincts and he feels bad for not being there for him when he needed to, but he doesn’t say a word about it, maybe the blond doesn’t even remember and he doesn’t want to fight because of the past.

Roger put the car seat on the couch and unbuckled the seat belt. While watching his own little family, Brian remembers that he has to call the University and tell them that he needs at least two weeks of paternity leave. He has no idea how it will affect his position, he just needs to present his thesis to be a doctor and get the permanent position as a professor. Not that he cares about it right now, he can find another job as a teacher if they don’t want him, now he just needs to be with his family.

“What are you thinking about?” He didn’t even realize Roger is now standing in front of him, with Anna in his arms.

“I’m so happy to be home” 

“I’m happy you are here too… now” Roger gives a dramatic pause, that with a Freddie quality. “I think it’s time for me to show the nursery to both of you.”

Brian doesn’t mention that he was already there, but honestly, he doesn’t even remember very well, too many things happened and back then he was thinking too much. Right now is the time to meet what Roger chose for their baby.

“Here” Roger says while turning the lights on. “Here is your little universe, my little one, made just for you.” He knows she can’t see, after all she is sleeping and she won’t even remember, but he feels like telling her that she can also be safe there.

“It’s perfect, love” Brian looks around and tries to catch everything. “It is a beautiful nursery.” He says while caressing Anna’s little forehead.

“The painting is all Freddie’s work” Roger explains.

“I will make sure to thank him later,” Brian smiles. “I think I should heat up her milk,” he says, now looking serious. Roger can feel that she needs to be fed soon, but he had no idea that Brian could feel it too.

“You can feel it?” He asks, surprised, it is news to him that the alpha can feel those things.

“Yeah…” he shrugs. “Since the moment she was born. Now sit here and I will bring the bottle.”

Roger wants to protest, he is supposed to do it, to heat the milk and feed her, and Brian is supposed to go to the bedroom and sleep, he needs to rest after pushing himself too much to be home sooner than they planned initially. But Roger does what he said, he sits in the comfortable chair and rocks Anna in his arms.

“You are a very lucky girl, you have the best dad in the world” he whispers before Brian returns with the bottle. The moment he stepped in the nursery she woke up and showed to Roger her two beautiful hazel eyes that he will never get tired of.

Brian sits beside him as they watch their daughter eating. They could spend their whole life like this.

  
  


“So you didn’t break your ankle” they were laying on the bed just the two of them. It’s getting late and they are both tired, despite Anna not being a trouble at all, but they decided to leave her in the nursery and turn on the baby monitor. They were just enjoying each other’s company and heat body when Brian remembered what happened some months ago.

“You are mad at me” Roger is laying with his head on Brian chest and is caressing his skin. Everything was perfect until now, Brian is taking it so well, he is so happy that Roger is a little bothered by it, he didn’t even ask why he never told him.

“Of course not, why are you thinking like this?” Brian didn’t like the tone of affirmation Roger gave, like he was expecting him to be mad.

“I lied to you, Bri, I kept the most important thing of our lives from you, you should be mad at me”

“Oh, no, I would never be mad at you, Rog, look at me” he makes Roger look up to him, but before he keeps talking he also makes him straddle him, to look right into his eyes. “Now it’s perfect”

But instead of continuing, he kissed him first. “First of all, I love you, never forget it, ok?” Roger nods, but he’s not understanding anything. “If it was your fault, then maybe I would be mad at you, it was not.”

“The only one who could tell you was me, so how was it not my fault?”

“It was the circumstance, love, I was not here and I was stressed too…” he takes a deep breath and locks his eyes again on Roger to show that he will never be mad at him. “And my father manipulated you, he always wanted me to finish the thesis before anything and he knew if you told me I would come back without thinking twice”

“It was my choice” Roger says quickly, he’s not sure if it is to defend himself, Harold, or just the truth.

“I know” Brian holds his face with both of his hands. “You chose what was best for me and for our baby, but not what was best for you. And I can’t be mad at you for doing this.

“Bri…”

“No, Rog, I am so happy, you just made me the happiest man on the universe"

"Really?"

"Really"

They share a very soft kiss, a kiss that showed all their emotions, especially their love for each other.

“I will never let you go again,” Roger says between kisses.

“You say it like we broke up… but I will never leave, I promise I will be by your side forever.” Brian means it, nine months was too much time to stay away from his family, he will never do this again.

“I think she needs us” Roger points as he gets up from Brian’s and the bed, ready to head to the nursery.

“I think we need her” Brian laughs, but Roger agrees. Of course they miss each other, but now they have a new member in the family that they need to enjoy, and they would never let her sleep alone on her first day at home.

And this is how they fell asleep, Brian in the right side, Roger in the left and Anna in the middle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... I was going to end this story in the next chapter, but then I thought that a sequel would be great, then I changed my mind and decided to continue the story in this 'book' with their future... But I will take an hiatus, probably three months, because I have an idea for another fic that I want to write (don't worry, it's also Maylor and I'll post the first chapter probably this weekend).
> 
> Thank you so much for your support since today, it really means a lot to me.  
> See ya xxx


	44. Chapter XLIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with this story! I really love writing this one, and hope you'll still enjoy reading xx

Brian was trying not to get stressed. He got a call from the University saying that they can’t give him another two weeks of paternity leave because they don’t have a substitute professor to put in his place anymore. He was happy because he got the job and now will earn more to provide for his family, it’s making the months he spent away from them worth it. But he’s not ready to leave them for hours during the day, how will he focus on teaching when he knows Roger can’t sleep while he changes Anna’s diaper because he is not there? 

He sighs. Now he can’t even take the little clothes from his daughter because she’s moving too much for a two weeks old baby girl. He doesn’t want to snap with her because she doesn’t deserve, God, she’s just a baby, she doesn’t even understand. She doesn’t understand that he’s not feeling only the pressure to leave them again, but he’s also continuously thinking that she still doesn’t recognise him as her father. Yes, he has the smell that she probably recognised, and Roger told him that she knew his voice when he called before she was born. But it is not enough for this small thought inside Brian’s mind. He lost too much, he lost a big part of her development and he doesn’t want to lose even more. Will she also grow up with him working all day and being tired during the night?

“What do I do, hm?” He says, looking down at the small baby in the changing table, her big hazel eyes, same as his, looking at him as if she’s really understanding what is happening.

“Is everything ok?” Roger is standing at the door, looking at both of them. Brian sighs. After this Anna finally stops and he can change her diapers and clothes. It’s probably Roger’s voice. When he finishes, Roger wraps his arms around him, looking at their child happily changed and ready to eat and go to sleep.

“You are doing great, Bri, what was the problem?” Roger asks again, after he got no answer.

“You should be sleeping,” he says, picking Anna up.

“It’s ok, I want to enjoy you, I still miss you,” Roger kisses him. He wants to open a smile. Roger is so clingy since he got back, it’s normal for two things: they spent nine whole months apart and in addition to this he just gave birth, the hormones are all over the place and he really needs his alpha.

“I miss you two, babe, I’ll only give her her formula and we three can cuddle,”

It’s their routine now, really. It’s just the three of them, John said to Freddie that they should only visit them when they ask, because they need their time, so they aren’t seeing either of their friends. They just stay inside the house, cuddling, looking at Anna, watching her grow up, and how quickly they grow! Brian is always surprised to see that even being days old she already learns new things, everyday. And, of course, the couple enjoy themselves, with tender kisses.

That’s why Brian doesn’t want to let it go, he needs this to bond with them. Actually, he really needs to _really_ claim Roger, they can’t postpone it anymore, so when Roger is able to, he will finally do it. 

But as he lays down on bed, Anna already sleeping after getting her milk, laying on Roger’s chest; and Roger, with his head on Brian’s shoulder; and himself with his arms around the two, he knows he has everything he ever wanted, and he knows they can do everything together.

“What is this?” Brian woke up early, he needs to be in the University before the class starts so he can talk with the Principal. He was thinking about getting breakfast ready and leaving everything ok for Roger to spend the day alone - well, he will not be alone, because John already said he’s going there, so he can be a little less worried. But he wasn’t expecting what he saw once he opened his eyes, before it he realized Roger was not in the bed, but it’s normal, as Anna is sleeping in her nursery. But Roger wasn’t there, he was in their room, with a food tray in his hands.

“Good morning, I made you breakfast,” Roger answers, with a smile, puts the tray on the bed, and kisses him.

“There was no need, babe,” he says, kissing him back. 

“Oh no, there was, I need to spoil my working fiance,” he smirks. Brian smiles, it’s going to be a long day, but Roger already made the start so good. He eats, takes a shower and gets ready in under one hour. He was still sleepy, so it is a record. His body is still struggling to get back to normal hours of sleep, and he still feels the need to sleep in the morning.

Leaving was bad, especially when Anna was peacefully sleeping and he just wanted to spend the whole day looking at her. But he needs to work, or everything would be worthless.

  
  


Roger was worried. Since Anna was born he and Brian shared everything, but now with Brian getting back to work, he doesn’t know what to do with his days. He was already kind of used to spending the day without him before, but he had his own job, that’s why, but now that he’s on maternity leave, what will he do? Anna is still so little. He can take her on a walk, or read her some story, but it will take only half of the time he needs to kill before Brian is back.

And there’s also his own need to be around Brian. He knew he missed him, but not that bad. It seems like he’s addicted to Brian’s scent and touch, and he needs it every minute - that he resolved with wearing a shirt with his scent, and it also helped the baby, apparently, because she was so calm in his arms. 

But there’s also Brian. He’s worried about him. He knows he thinks about everything he missed and Roger feels guilty about it, and he can see it in the way Brian wants to do everything to both of them, the way he doesn’t let neither of them go, the way he was sad when he learned that he needed to go back to work. And Roger wanted to take all these feelings away, and only give him good thoughts.

His thoughts were interrupted with someone knocking at the door, and only then he remembered that John called asking if he wanted company. Of course he said yes.

“Wow, where’s Robert?” It’s the first thing he said once he opened the door. 

“That’s the only thing you like about me?” Deaky says, entering the house and sitting on the couch.

“Don’t tell me you came here to see me, I know you want to spend time with this beauty here,” he says, not teasing this time. John, of course, picks her up from Roger’s arms.

“Hmm, newborns smell so good,” he holds her close and Roger sees that he’s good with kids.

“They do,” he agrees, also remembering how his godson was when he was born.

“I can’t wait and I also can’t keep it as a secret,” John starts, still looking down at Anna, but as he continues he looks at Roger. “You are the first to know, except from Ronnie, of course… I’m pregnant!” 

“That’s great! I thought you were going to have another one even before. I’m so happy for you,” Roger goes and hugs his friend, he’s so excited and Roger loves it about him.

“I’m happy too, we didn’t expect, but you know we want a big family”

“Well, it’s perfect for a celebration!”

“Celebration?”

“We only have apple juice here, don’t worry!”

They laugh, and spend the whole day talking about babies. They are really 100% parents.


	45. Chapter XLV

That day Roger came back from the shopping feeling down. He was carrying Anna on his chest, and doing his best not to cry and wake her up. She’s a very calm six weeks old baby girl, and slept the whole time, except when she woke up because she was hungry. 

And if he was quicker and had made the grocery shopping fast, it wouldn’t have happened. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty about giving his daughter formula instead of breastfeeding her, he actually never thought about it, he was never worried, as his doctor and the pediatrician said that it can happen, his body just didn’t produce any milk and they guaranteed that Anna will have every nutrients she needs. He didn’t even discuss it with Brian, as when he woke up the next day Brian was feeding her, at that moment he felt like it will be a thing both of them will share. It was just not meant to be for himself, nothing to worry about.

But that woman had to say something, of course they always do. He doesn’t even know her, he doesn’t know her name, and she had the guts to tell him he’s less than herself because she breastfeeds her baby, to tell him that he wasn’t supposed to be with her if he’s not able to do the less he can do for her. 

And he tried not to care, he tried to stay calm and think about the good moments the three of them had until now and the healthy baby girl they have. But how could he not think that yes, maybe he’s a bad parent? Maybe he should have tried harder when he was pregnant, and god, what if it is his punishment for not telling Brian about their baby? 

He puts Anna in her bassinet that is in the kitchen and tries to prepare dinner. Not that he makes dinner for them, he usually waits for Brian to come back from work - he leaves at four, so he’s home considerably early - for him to cook for them. But today he feels like he should do it, that Brian should come home to everything perfect, and not him being lazy and leaving the hard work for him alpha that is already working and tired. He should be a good housewife, he should be a good omega, he doesn’t even do things omegas are supposed to do. He hears his father’s voice inside his mind, and this time he doesn’t ask for it to shut up, he braces it and tries to do what he’s supposed to do.

First he goes to their bedroom and gathers all the dirty clothes, they are giving priority to the baby’s clothes, and Brian was hoping to do their laundry on the weekend. But now Roger won’t let him do it, he will do it himself, right now. He puts the clothes in the washing machine and goes back to the kitchen. Anna is still sleeping, but soon she will wake up again and he needs to prepare more formula for her. He wishes he had another way, why is it so easy with John? He didn’t have any difficulties with Robert…

He tries to make a veggie lasagna. He chopps the mushrooms, the carrots, the onion and the eggplant. But when it’s time to make the sauce he has no idea what to do, it is a simple tomato sauce, but how the hell does he cook it? He thinks about calling his mum, but she will probably laugh, he never does it, she won’t take him seriously. Then he thought about calling Ruth, but she will want to make the dinner herself.

Anna caught his attention again, as she woke up. He picks her up and sits in the kitchen chair. She eats quietly, the same way she does everything. Roger loves how similar she is to Brian, it is really good to have two people like this, in contrast to his chaotic personality.

She finishes the bottle and looks at him, as if she wants to say something. She makes cute sounds, but nothing too elaborate yet, and he doesn’t know if he wants her to grow up or to stay like this forever. The hazel eyes make him almost forget about his problems.

“You are just like your dad… you know you are so lucky to have a dad like him, don’t you?” She moves her little legs and Roger laughs. She won’t go back to sleep, and it is a good sign, as she will probably sleep during the night.

But all those feelings from before come back, and this time he can’t hold his tears. Before sobbing he managed to put Anna down in the bassinet again, and give her her teddy bear. He holds on the table, alongside the food for dinner, that he didn’t have the ability to finish.

He doesn’t know for how long he was there, but he heard the door opening. It could only be Brian and he wanted to disappear, he doesn’t want him to see him like this, all fucked up because of his inability to be a good father and husband - and they are not even married!

“Rog?” He hears him calling him, but he doesn’t answer.

“Love? Are you ok?” He enters the kitchen, and it is Anna the first one to greet him, with a little noise. Brian gives her a kiss and turns to Roger.  _ This is it _ , he thinks.

“Hey, what happened?” He kneels down on the floor, besides him, trying to catch his face, but Roger looks the other way. “What are you feeling? You know you can tell me anything…”

“I know…” He says, quietly, feeling bad that Brian is being so kind with him, the problem is that he always thinks about him, and it makes Roger think he doesn’t deserve it.

“Let’s go to our room, sit on our comfortable bed and talk, ok?” Brian suggests and he nods. “I’ll bring Anna’s crib too”

“It’s not a crib, it’s a bassinet,” he corrects.

“There, this is the Roger I know,” and damn it, Brian always makes him feel better. 

He sits on the bed and waits for them. He starts feeling bad again because Brian didn’t even have a shower and he already needs to do everything for them. When he comes back, he sits by his side and wraps his arm around him. The first instinct is to let Roger lean in. 

“Are you feeling better?” He shakes his head. “What can I do to make you feel better, then?”

“I was supposed to be doing it…” he starts, still mumbling.

“Doing what?”

“Do you think I am a bad parent?”

“Where did you take this from? You are an amazing parent, love, you’ve always been,” he knows Brian won’t lie to him, but…

“You do everything, you work, you cook, you clean the house, and I do nothing, I’m useless,” he finally says and is met with an incredulous look of his boyfriend.

“You are still recovering, Rog, and you take care of our daughter, you do much more than I do, you take care of our most precious thing… hey, look at me,” and Brian makes him turn his face, he wasn’t wanting eye contact because he’s crying. “You know that I never asked you to do anything, I never asked for us to be a traditional couple, I love doing things for you, and you have no idea how many things you do for me,”

“You are perfect, Bri, I don’t deserve you…”

“You know it’s not true,” and he kisses him, a tender kiss, soft, in his lips. “You know what? What about we ask Michelle, I mean, Dr Jones, when it will be your next heat and if you are clear… and we finally bond as I promised you?”

“Yeah, I would like that…” 

And again, damn it, Brian always makes him feel better...


	46. Chapter XLVI

When Anna was almost three months old she spent her first day without her parents. Roger was apprehensive of leaving her, but it is for a good cause. Well, it is for the best cause possible in this world: they are about to get bonded. So Brian drove her to her grandparent’s house for spending the next two days there, with everything she needed. It’s not some strangers, she has a good relationship with her grandma Ruth and is very happy when she’s with her. Brian, on the other hand, is still not talking with his father, which makes everything uncomfortable.

But tonight will be a special night for them. They have everything planned and both of them have been waiting for this moment: the day they are getting bonded, the day that they will seal their love and life together, the day they will be, finally, really, truly, mates.

_ It is different from being in this side of the clinic when not pregnant, Roger thinks, it’s even more different being there with Brian. But today he will finally learn if he’s ok to have sex again, and the most important thing: if his body can recieve the mating bite. He’s been begging Brian to do it for ages, but they never had the right moment, they had plans before committing to each other, and on their schedule they would probably start talking about having kids now. But this phase has already passed and now they need to adjust. Roger knows that his body already changed because it’s not normal for an omega to have babies before bonding. _

_ Doctor Jones called them in the waiting room by herself, and sometimes Roger forgets that she and Brian know each other for a long time. _

_ “Brian, it’s good to see you here! Roger, you too, dear! How is little Anna?” She asks while walking them to the office. _

_ “She’s perfect,” Brian answers, very proudly. _

_ “Good, so, why are you two here?” _

_ “We want to make sure I’m 100% ready to get back in action,” Roger says, smirking. Brian blushes, he’s not used to talking about those things, especially to someone he’s still trying to separate the friend to the doctor. _

_ “Ok, let’s do a check up, but I can already tell that you recovered well and will be no problem,” Dr Jones guides Roger to the table, and it’s also different there, this time without the ultrasound machine. _

_ “So Brian finally decided to claim you?” She asks, to relax while she does the exams. _

_ “Hmm, it was about time...” _

_ “Ok, you can get dressed,” she says after some minutes, taking off the gloves. _

_ “So?” Brian, who’s been quiet until now, asked. _

_ “As I said before, everything is normal and there should be no problems. As the heat changes after the first pregnancy and it will take some weeks to start naturally, I will prescribe this medicine to induce the heat, so you take it one day before the day you choose, but I’ll also prescribe this contraceptive, you need to start taking them a week before…” _

_ Roger looks at her with questioning eyes. “I assume you won’t want to have another baby right now?” _

_ “No no…” he answers, not expecting it. Actually he never thought about it… _

“Are you ok?” It’s been two hours since Brian returned after leaving Anna with his parents. They were sitting on the couch, watching the second movie of the day, having no idea what to do while the medicine is not kicking in.

“Unfortunately yes, I never thought I would be waiting to have a heat, but I guess so many things changed….” he whines, and Brian too can’t wait for it to start, they’ve been planning it for weeks now, and it seems like their birthday in the end of the month will arrive and the moment of the heat not…

“What about a shower?” He suggests they should do something together, because in a night without their daughter they are like the regular parents: each one doing one thing or watching tv. No, they are here alone because they will finally be bonded together.

“I think it’s perfect”

“Ok, let’s go”

They start kissing there on the couch. It’s the first time in months, in almost a year, that they are having a night to themselves. It feels like the first time they kissed. They manage to get up and walk to the bathroom, still kissing.

Brian manages to take their pants off, at least this skill he didn’t lose with time. He stops the kiss, not only to breath, but also to take the shirts off too. Roger whines, but soon after the contact starts again.

“Here, just let me open…” but Brian can’t have a second to open his mouth away from Roger’s. Somehow they ended up under the water, cold at the beginning, but they couldn’t care less. Until now they had no idea how much they missed each other like this, in the most raw and loving way, the way that only they can do it. It’s hard and so soft at the same time.

And Roger enjoys it while he can think properly. He can already feel the heat starting, that thing in his stomach that he felt for the last time the night they conceived their daughter, and their lives changed forever. But this time he’s happy, he’s happy to break the kiss to massage Brian’s scalp with his hands and take care of his curls, he’s happy to let Brian do the same with his own hair and then apply the soap carefully in his hands to explore his fiancé’s body.

They take out of the shower and, as they did inside, one dry up each other, it’s tender, like their next steps. Thankfully they are already naked, because it finally, finally starts. He doesn’t need to say anything, because they are about to get bonded, but they already have a connection.

Brian carefully puts him on bed, on his back, and straddles him. The room is smelling good, beside their own smell, the sheet is also special, made of silk, and it creates an amazing sensation in his skin. They retake the kiss, this time with both of the impatient, wanting, desiring. 

It is not a need. They don’t want to label it like this, it’s not like that, they are together for five years, they already have a family, they do it because they want it. They get lost in each other, but not wasting time, the preliminary is as important as the action itself. 

Brian starts getting down, and this time the heat is almost unbearable that Roger wants to complain, as he did everytime, but there’s a space inside his mind that knows that what is about to happen is the second best thing in his life, so he waits.

He waits until he feels the kisses teasing him, until he feels the lips on his most sensitive spots, until he almost screams when he feels the tongue licking there. And he’s amazed by how calm Brian can be, he does it smoothly, first in his dick, then moving to the balls, and finally the hole, that is already leaking and begging to be filled. 

He doesn’t need preparation, but Brian always makes sure he’s ready. He moves up again, kissing all his body in the way, stopping in his mouth. The moment he pushes his tongue inside is the moment he presses two fingers in his hole. Roger wants to scream with the pleasure, but he’s lost in the kiss.

Soon the two fingers are not enough, so he begs. He begs because he’s not ashamed of doing it, he begs because he knows he will have what he wants, what they want. They stay with the three fingers for a while, until he whines with the loss of contact. But the feeling of being empty will soon go away.

And it still amazes him how Brian still asks. He always did it, and apparently he always will. “Are you ready?”

“I-I’ve been… I’m ready since forever,” he manages to say, and above him he can see the bright smile on Brian’s face. It’s not a comfortable position, but it is the position they need right now.

Everything is black for a while, to both of them, when Brian presses in. He’s fully bottomed and they are finally, truly, really, together. It’s already too much, the feelings are even higher now, he feels like his body will explode if it’s not done soon.

“Please…” he says, clearer than he thought he would. And Brian starts moving, finally. It’s slow in the beginning, but as the time passes, he comes closer to Roger’s face and the blond wraps his legs around his hips. The pace goes fast and fast, they both moan loudly at each other’s names, and they couldn’t care less if the neighbors are hearing them. They are in their bubble, enjoying their love.

When Brian feels that he’s about to come and the knot is swelling, he knows it is the moment. The moment he’s been dreaming about for months, the moment he never thought he would live until he met Roger. So he focuses on Roger’s neck, he smells his glands and knows it’s there he should bite. Their scent is already mixing. He whispers a ‘I love you’ that he doubts Roger heard, but it doesn’t matter, because he finally does it, and they are finally bonded together.

The moment it happens he comes, together with Roger, and with the knot, that if you are truly soulmates stay swollen for a little longer than the normal, he knows they have at least a couple of hours to sleep there, together, in each other’s arms. But he doesn’t care about it, he only cares that now they are finally mates.

He changes their position so they can stay comfortable. Roger is already sleeping. And neither of them thought they would be so lucky to have each other. Now, definitely, forever.


	47. Chapter XLVII

Today is a special day. Roger hadn’t had any plan made, especially because he thought he would be alone and just counting the days for Brian to come back, and then, in the night, of course, waiting for him to call to celebrate his birthday. But in his first original thought he was alone and lonely; and in his second thought he was still alone, but with a baby.

But everything changed and now he has Brian with him for their birthday, Brian’s being the first. He didn’t buy a gift, let alone make plans for a party. He has a good excuse, though, they’ve been too busy with the new baby and all the changes that come with them being newly mated. His own body didn’t need to adapt too much, the biting mark healed pretty fast and it’s all because they were made for each other, they are soulmates. Ok, he doesn’t believe it, but Brian is the love of his life and they’ve been wanting it for a long time, their relationship is long and stable and it’s very important for the mating process. 

But he really needs to do something special. He put Anna on a onesie with the saying ‘happy birthday daddy’, and it already made Brian melt. Before, he woke him up with a blow job and then made him breakfast, they shared a passionate kiss before he left for work, which was interrupted with Anna wanting attention. It was already enough, Roger knew it, Brian wouldn’t demand anything else, actually only the blow job and Anna’s onesie were perfect. 

“I have everything I ever wanted, you, our daughter, it’s perfect,” Brian said to him. “It’s the best birthday ever.”

But still Roger wanted to do something else. Usually they go out to dinner somewhere and end the day together, and Freddie throws a party on the weekend for both of them. He has the whole day to think.

“What do you think, Anna? What should we do for dad?” She’s looking up at him, he picked her up to try to soothe her and now she stopped crying, looking at him with her big hazel eyes is all she does, alongside some very cute baby noises. He wished she could talk already, to see if she has any ideas, but poor baby, she has no idea today is her dad’s birthday… 

“We should see uncle Freddie, maybe will help us,” she makes a sound resembling a ‘yes’, which makes Roger nod, he picks her bag, the car key and drives to the stall. Yeah, maybe Freddie will help.

  
  


“I told you, Freddie, we won’t get new clothes for this baby, never mind new toys, we already have Robert’s,” when Roger arrived, the stall was empty, normal for this hour, just before lunch, but he didn’t expect to see John there. He waited a little to hear their conversation, hoping that Anna won’t cry or make any noise.

“Yes, and it’s exactly why it has the emphasis on  _ we _ , it means you and Ronnie, nothing forbids  _ me  _ from spoiling baby two the same way I did with baby one,” it is so funny, Roger loves how excited Freddie is with the babys, and that’s why he knows he and Jim will never have one, they will be forever the best uncles.

“If you want sanity you should stay away from him,” Roger finally reveals his presence.

“Rog, darling, what are you doing here?” Freddie leaves the register to greet him, well, not him, because he knows he’s going straight to take Anna.

“I actually need your help, and as Deaky is here, it’s perfect”

“Oh no, you are perfect and you are helping me,” Freddie says, carefully picking Anna in his arms. The baby doesn’t like strangers, but her uncles are among the few people who can manage to pick her up without her screaming and crying.

“And why is that?” He looks at John waiting for some coherent answers, but the youngest just shrugs.

“Because you brought my happiness, my sunshine,” John rolls his eyes. “Unlike this one here, he had the audacity to leave Robert with his mother!”

“Freddie, he’s already one year old, I can’t have a proper conversation with you if he’s here, besides, he will catch everything that’s in his reach, it’s not a place for kids,” John answers, calmly, and Roger wants to laugh.

“Well, at least soon we’ll have another baby...”

“So, can you help me?” Roger asks again, trying to get the attention back to him and what he needs.

“You didn’t tell us what you need,” Deaky points out.

“Today is Brian’s birthday and I have no idea what to do for him...” he sighs, leaning against the desk.

“A blow job?” Freddie suggests.

“Already did it”

“Well, then what else do you want to do?”

“I don’t know”

“He’s working right now, isn’t he?” Deaky asks.

“Yeah”

“So you could buy a piece of cake and take there, to surprise him when he finishes the classes”

“You are perfect, John, I love you.”

They had lunch together and Roger had to physically take Anna from Freddie because he didn’t want to let her go. Out of habit he helped a customer while Freddie was still cooing over the baby. John had other things to do and had already left.

Roger was thinking about what should be his next steps. He drives to the University and parks his car a little away from the physics department, in case if Brian leaves his classroom and sees he’s there. He walks to the cafe on the other side, carrying Anna in a sling. He looks at the watch and there’s still 50 minutes until Brian finishes his classes, but he decides to buy the piece of cake already and walk a little. It’s difficult to carry the plate and a baby, and he hopes that she won’t ask for anything at least until he has Brian to help him.

He sits in a bank near Brian’s classroom. It’s easy to identify because it has his name on the door. ‘Dr Brian Harold May’. And it makes him so proud. He’s looking at it when a man approaches them. He looks a little older, has a suit on and looks very presentable.

“Excuse me, are you Dr May’s husband?” Roger is taken back by two things: the man knowing him and calling him Brian’s husband.

“Yes, I am,” he answers, smiling.

“And this little girl must be Anna” Roger lets him take a better look at her, it’s strange to have people wanting to see her, but he kind of trusts this man. “May talks a lot about you, he’s very proud of you”

“I’m proud of him too”

“You can come in if you want,” the man says. He looks with doubt and he continues. “The students are first year, they asked if they could do something to celebrate his birthday, the class is almost over”

Roger nods. “Thank you,”

He gets up and the man (god, he really forgot to ask his name?) knocked at the door and opened for him. He wears his best smile as the students realise he has a cake and start singing ‘happy birthday’. 

Brian doesn’t know where to look, but in the end he fixes his eyes on Roger and Anna. 

“Happy birthday, doctor May,” he says, and Brian kisses him. The students say an ‘own’ in chorus and Brian blushes.

“Thank you, love”

And in the end, Roger just gave him a birthday even better. With everything he loves.


	48. Chapter XLVIII

The fact that their birthday is only one week apart always amazed Roger. They have an entire week to celebrate together, and it’s another thing that indicated that they were made for each other.

This year he felt complete and now he gets what Brian told him one week ago, that he doesn’t need anything, just his family. But this morning it was his time to wake up to sex time, they had it quickly, but all the way, and he felt a little bad for only giving Brian a blow job while he gave him the whole package, but Brian has always been the more thoughtful between them and it is really difficult to them to find time to have sex without Anna crying or complaining in the nursery. 

Their morning went by the same thing as everyday, Brian made him a special breakfast and fed Anna, they talked and he had to leave for work. Today against his will because the brunet wanted to spend the whole day with him.

“I promised that when I come back I’ll take you to a special place to celebrate properly,” and he kissed him before leaving. Roger nods, animated with the perspective of doing something outside the house, as they only had dinners inside and the only fun they have is to go out to the supermarket.

He didn’t spend much time alone after Brian left, his mother arrived a few minutes later, to give her son a kiss before she herself went to work, it’s always so good to see his mum. They talked a little and she had to leave too.

After that, near lunch time, it was time for Freddie, Jim, John, Ronnie and little Robert to show up. They brought food and a cake and they had a good hour together. Roger loves spending time with his friends, and even more now that Brian is working and he has to stay at home taking care of Anna.

“Too bad that Bri isn’t here,” he says when they arrive, all happy and singing happy birthday. It seems a repetition of what he kept saying when Brian was away finishing his research, but this time he’s only 15 minutes away.

“We could’ve come later, but we thought that you two would want to spend this time together, just the two of you,” Ronnie said, but they are right, and he really needs the company right now.

They eat and laugh and share birthday experiences from previous years. Robert is playing and Anna is sleeping, so they can have adult conversations. And Roger is having fun, he is, but in the middle of everything he starts feeling something in his stomach. He thinks it’s probably because everything they do right now has to be separated, or he is with their friends or he is with Brian, they are never together, at least not to have fun as they did before. And it is not bad for him, he thinks, it must be bad for Brian, he’s always working and taking care of them that he doesn’t have fun. Well, he hopes that his birthday surprise will be fun for him too, at least.

But he is happy. He is happy that he’s now 26 years and spent almost five and a half with the love of his life, that he has good and loyal friends and now he has his daughter too. He has everything in his life and he is even more soft with it than Brian, because he really is grateful for how far he came, so it’s only fair that he feels overwhelmed.

When they leave, Roger is once again grateful. He just closed the door and had to run to the bathroom, he had forgotten how bad it is to get sick, he feels like all the blood left his face and yeah, he’s probably pale, and he feels awful. He hears Anna crying and he wishes he could get up and pick her up as soon as possible, but he needs time to do so, and he also needs to wash his mouth.

“Here, baby, papa is here, don’t worry,” he says when he finally manages to reach her. “Let’s go to bed together, hm? We’ll have cuddles, would you like to give papa cuddles for his birthday?”

She stopped crying, so he picks her milk bottle and goes to the bedroom, not forgetting to pick the teddy bear before. They stay there, on the bed, Roger looking at her, who’s looking at him back, with her eyes wide open and drinking her milk. Roger never thought he would find something so perfect like this. He may miss his job, but he wouldn’t change this time with his daughter.

He didn’t even realize he was that tired when he fell asleep. Anna lying on top of him alongside her teddy bear, they are inseparable. He has no idea for how long he slept because he only woke up with the noise of the door opening. He looks at the watch and it’s still early, why is Brian already home?

“You two look so cute,” Brian says, showing up at the door. Roger smiles, still a little sleepy. Anna didn’t wake up yet, and it’s not a good sign, as she will probably be up during the night.

“Bri, what are you doing here?”

“Wow, it almost seems like you are not happy to see me”

“No no, I am,” he says, Brian picking Anna up carefully.

“Didn’t have the last class, I told the students it is your birthday, they asked me to wish you a happy birthday, by the way, and we agreed that tomorrow they will show me the essays,”

“Well, so now can you take me to that special place you promised early?” Roger asked, definitely not eager and not showing it.

“Yeah, I’ll change Anna and you can put a comfy cloth”

  
  


Brian drove. It’s weird to be on the passenger seat, but he didn’t want to reveal where they are going, so Roger has to content himself on being on the other side. It’s weird because he needs to turn his head to look at Anna when he can do very well in the rearview. He doesn’t complain this time, because he can barely contain his smile. It doesn’t matter what it is, he will love it either way.

It’s not dark yet, so it’s not stargazing, he would love to do it too if it was the case, so he can’t possibly think about what Brian is doing. He is surprised when he parks in front of the park. And he recognised this park.

“Bri…” 

“Do you remember?”

“Of course, I would never forget,”

This park is a little far from where they live, but once, when they were still in the beginning of the relationship they came here to walk and meet the place. That day they sat on the grass and talked about their future. They future had a mating, babies and wedding, had they growing old together and having a big family. There they started to properly think about staying together.

This time they put Anna on the baby stroller and start walking, hand in hand, with Brian pushing the stroller. And if Roger was smiling before, now he can’t even close his mouth. But it was even a bigger surprise when they sat on the grass, at the same spot as they did years ago.

Brian gave him a card. “What is this?” He asks even before reading it.

“Well, I imagined that I was leaving you a year to plan our wedding, but this girl came and I know you didn’t have time to think about it,”

“Yeah, I didn’t…”

“So I asked Freddie to help me and this is our wedding venue,” he points.

“And the date?”

“Yeah…” Roger passes his fingers on the date written on it.

“Really?” He can’t believe it.

“This is my gift for you”

_ 12th January.  _

“Happy birthday, my love”

“Thank you, Bri, you just made me the happiest man on Earth”

And he’s more than ready to open another chapter in their lives.


	49. Chapter XLIX

They had a good weekend, with their family. Family meaning him, Brian, Anna, John, Veronica, Robert, Freddie and Jim. And the cats. It’s always pleasant to spend the day at Freddie’s house, and they always have a lot of fun. 

Well, except that in the beginning Freddie had forbidden Brian from playing scrabble. Roger was laughing, but soon he realized that Brian didn’t take this joke as well as he usually would. And he got worried. They are usually together, the three of them, without him. He spent too much time away, now he works a lot and has to help Roger take care of their baby. Besides, Roger can feel that he’s feeling sad. It’s still a new thing for him, to feel what Brian is feeling too. It’s developing quickly and he needs to adjust. But he never thought that he would feel his partner sad. They have everything, but he guesses it’s not a thing he can choose.

So he decides to scold Freddie. Everyone was shocked, but it was his first instinct when he thought that maybe an innocent joke could make Brian go into a depression episode. He wanted to make sure that it wasn’t anyone’s fault, that they are there to spend a good time together.

Eventually the mood improved and the bond between them was filled with laughs and baby thoughts. Even when they got home Roger even forgot to talk about it. He was feeling a little nauseated, and didn’t want to bother and have a serious conversation, afterall Brian was feeling better.

In the middle of the night, though, he had to quickly get up to go to the bathroom. He really got sick. Again. He never thought that the stress would cause it, he really needs to see a doctor so he can calm down a little. Parent life, bonded omega life, about to get married life, he guesses…

Not even a minute after he got to the bathroom Brian was behind him. He held his hair and gave him water to clean his mouth. In the end Roger smiles. “Thanks,” thankfully he wasn’t feeling like about to get sick again.

“Are you ok?” Brian asks, clearly worried and without a hint of sleep on his face anymore.

“Yeah, I guess so”

“Do you have any idea what it can be?”

“Stress, probably,” he shrugs.

“Let’s get back to bed, then, I will make you destress”

“You don’t have to, Bri,” Roger says, remembering everything that happened early that day, but right now he’s feeling only love.

“I know, but it’s my job to take care of you,” he kisses him and they enjoy the rest of the night together.

  
  


“If you feel anything you can call the department and I’ll come, ok?” Brian says before leaving for work. Mondays he has an early appointment with a student, but right now he’s too worried to think about it.

“I’m fine,” Brian still is not so sure about it. They had breakfast together, but Roger didn’t eat a lot. “I mean it, you will be late,”

“I don’t care about being late,” sometimes he can be stubborn, but Roger loves it, he has to admit.

“John is not working today, I’ll call him, ok?”

“Yeah, that’s better,” but Roger needs to kiss him and walk forward to make him go to the door.

After that Roger goes to do his daily routine, he feeds Anna, who just woke up, and calls John. Unfortunately for him, he needs to admit that Brian was right, he had to run to the bathroom to get sick again. This time, after, he feels awful. He doesn’t have the energy to get up and thankfully Anna is distracted playing with her toys. He really needs Brian right now.

Some minutes pass when he hears the front door opening, deep down wishing it was Brian, but he knows it’s not. 

“Rog?” It's John.

“In the bathroom,” he manages to say, and hopes he heard.

“Wow, you look awful,” Deaky says, but hurries to help him get up.

“I need Bri, Deaky...” he says without thinking, is it the effect of the bonding? He never  _ begged _ like this. Ok, he did while he was pregnant, but he had a good excuse and Brian was away. But now? It makes no sense. And he can’t even control it.

“This time he’s here, Rog, he’ll come home soon,” Deaky reassures him, while he helps him go to the sink to clean his face.

He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. He can’t believe that his pregnant friend has to help him, they were supposed to spend a fun day together, not like this. John gets him to the bedroom, picks Anna too and lays her beside him, he knows that a good baby cuddle helps. He goes to the kitchen to make tea and sits beside his friend, looking at him with worrying eyes.

“Want to sleep a little?” He shakes his head. “You need to eat something…” 

“Don’t want to…” he says in a small voice, he doesn’t want to get sick again, it’s gross and makes him feel like he ran two marathones and didn’t sleep.

“You have to, you know it’s important…” Deaky has a calming but steady voice, Roger thinks that Robert probably obeys him with the thoughts only. Points for being a father like this, Roger and Brian will probably do everything Anna asks. And talking about Anna. 

“You can take care of Anna instead, train a little with a baby,” he says seriously, too bad that he’s too stubborn to listen to him.

“Rog, do you have any idea why you need to eat?”

“I studied biology, I know…” but Deaky didn’t let him talk further.

“Besides your own health, you are dehydrated, you know that in this period you need to replace what you lose by getting sick so the…” this time it was Roger who interrupted him. What is he talking about?

“I’m not pregnant, Deaky, you are the one pregnant here,” and Roger really thinks his friend is talking bullshit, it’s not pregnancy every time you get sick, and besides, his baby is only three months old, he’s on birth control and they use condoms every time, there’s no way he’s pregnant again.

“I know you, and I love you, Rog, I can’t let you stay in denial, think about it, ok? But you need to take care of yourself either way, you can’t get sick like this again”

He nods, damn it, he wants to say something back, but instead he looks at his daughter, who’s looking up and moving her legs and arms happily, making baby sounds, unaware of what is happening around her.

“I’ll make you a soup, and you’ll eat it, ok?” He nods again and watches his friend leaving the room. 

He thinks about what he said. Is it possible that he’s pregnant again? That he got pregnant twice without planning? Is it possible that he’ll have another baby while his first is still under one? And how will he tell Brian? How will Brian react? Does he tell him before having a test or after? He looks at Anna again. Well, it will be good for her to have a sibling and they will be able to play together. But also he has the option of not being pregnant, and this being only due to his stress.

John stays with him the whole day, until Brian arrives, keeping him company. He feels better, but the moment Brian walks in and gives him a kiss he cries, hugging him. What the hell will he do right now?


	50. Chapter L

“Hey, I’m here”

Brian tries his best to calm Roger down, he looks at John, who’s still there, but he’s also worried. Eventually he takes Anna to her nursery because she started crying and neither of them had energy to look after her. Roger was still crying, hugging him tighter and tighter. Brian was imagining a hundred things and neither of them are good.

“I know it’s too much to ask, but can you take Anna with you?” Brian asks John, he knows he has his own family to take care of, but they have no conditions of having Anna with them tonight, at least for now, he needs to make sure Roger is 100%.

“Yeah, of course, I’m going home, I need to pick Robert too, I can ask Freddie to help me” Deaky answers, and Brian wants to hug him, but he can’t actually leave Roger for one second right now.

“You are an angel, Deaky,” he nods, and mutters a ‘take care’ and ‘call me if anything happens’. When they hear John talking on the phone and then the door closing Roger cries even harder, it’s not easy to stay away from their baby, but right now they need to do everything right.

“Rog, love, something happened?” He tries again, this time he gets a reaction, Roger nods. Well, at least it’s something. But it means that yes, something happened. Brian can feel the desperation, and he wants to take it away as soon as possible.

Finally the blond loses the hug and looks at him. He has red and puffy eyes, and looks broken. “Promise you won’t be mad?”

And again, he thinks about many things that may have happened. He was out for just six hours, what could have happened to Roger in this short of time? What could have him done in this period? He knew he should have called the University and not gone today.

“I will never be mad at you, Rog, you know that,” Roger nods, but still doesn’t talk. “You can tell me anything”

“But I didn’t…” he says, incredibly calmly, almost bittersweetly.

“Rog…”

“Bri, I kept the most important thing of our lives away from you, how could you not be mad at me?”

Oh, so that’s it? Roger is mad because of something that happened months ago? That they already talked about? He should make Roger feel good about himself more often than he already tries to do.

“You were doing your best, babe, you thought about everyone else but yourself, and I love you, I love our daughter, our family, and I could’ve been different, of course, I would’ve loved to have followed the pregnancy and every steps, but this is what it is, and I love our family either way…” he stops for a second to see if Roger keeps listening, he has his puppy eyes. “You don’t regret anything, do you?”

“No… but this time it could be different…”

“What do you mean?”

Roger takes a deep breath and looks deep into Brian eyes, holding his hands. “I-I think I may be pregnant again…” 

Brian looks back at him and tries to process everything, but he doesn’t have the time, because soon after Roger is crying again. “And I’m not ready, the changes, everything… and Anna is still so little, I want to enjoy her…” he stops for a second because of a hiccup. “But at the same time I think about another baby, and…”

“Hey,” Brian hugs him again. “It’s fine, we’ll be fine,” and he thinks it was probably for the best that Anna is not here now, it would be more difficult to think about the second baby with the first one demanding their attention.

“You know what? What about you taking a shower and I will go down to the pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test? Then we’ll find out together, what do you think?”

Roger nods, and Brian helps him go to the bathroom, he starts filling the bathtub with warm water and puts the bath salts Freddie always makes sure they have. He helps Roger enter the bathtub and kisses him on the lips. Roger purrs and Brian is not sure if he wants to leave him alone for ten minutes.

“Are you gonna to be ok?” He asks, to make sure.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Roger answers, this time Brian nods and kisses him again.

“I’ll be right back”

Roger never liked to feel like this, so weak. Since he started crying in Brian arms everything he thought during the day became a mess, he was so in denial when he was alone with Deaky, he looked at his friend, who’s also pregnant, and kept thinking about how he and Ronnie planned this baby, and how they did everything together, talked about work, about who’s going to stay with Robert, about future kindergarten and everything. While he and Brian never planned anything and have no idea how to deal with things. He wanted to ask Deaky about everything, but he thought he was bothering him too much, he already has his own issues, he doesn’t need him complaining about how his life is a mess. And God, they are so young, John is even younger and he has his right family already. And Roger is what? 26 and he has no idea what to do.

But once he could feel Brian’s presence, his smell, his thoughts, his worries, suddenly the idea of having another baby was not so bad, he actually thought about Brian following every step this time and it makes him feel happy because of it. But at the same time he’s not sure if he can do this again, so soon.

And that’s why he’s tired. He’s tired of thinking, of worrying, of the future. 

But Brian, Brian makes everything feel better for him, he thinks about everything, and he’s already doing so much. He was scared of telling him, but he couldn’t not tell him today. But he also wanted to make it special, like the dream he had before, surprising him with a shirt or something.

He’s almost sleeping in the bath when Brian returns. He was quick, so he probably ran to get home sooner. 

“Can you come here inside with me?” He asks when Brian comes back to the bathroom.

“Of course,” he leaves the bag in the sink and takes off his clothes. It feels 100% better when he positions himself on Roger’s back, he lays his back on his chest, his hands on Brian’s thighs. Brian’s hands were on his stomach, but he didn’t comment anything about it, the tests are still there and they are not sure yet. But it feels good, it’s an intimate moment that makes him recover his energy.

“I guess this is the truth time,” they’ve been there for quite a while. They are not sure how long, but Roger can’t keep with the incerty for so long. Despite that he knows that these tests are not 100% sure, but it’s a good indicator. Dr Jones will be happy.

“I’ll start dinner, you can take your time,” they dry up quickly and Brian leaves for the kitchen.

Roger opens the three tests. He never took them before, the first time he went straight to an appointment. He reads the instructions and they are all the same. He has a hard time to pee, damn nervousness. Eventually he finishes, and he thanks god for it, he never thought it would be so difficult. He puts them on the sink and goes to the bathroom to put on comfortable clothes. Then he goes to the kitchen too.

“You look so sexy with only the towel,” he teases Brian when he sees him near the oven, such a sigh.

“Glad you are better to make those comments”

“For you I’m always good,” he stays on his toes to kiss him and resists the urge to take the towel off, it’s not the time.

They stay there for some minutes, Roger only watching Brian preparing the food. He actually enjoys the smell, but dreads the moment he’ll eat it. Well, he dreads the moment after he’ll eat.

“Bri”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to go there and see…”

“It’s ok, I’ll go”

Roger watches Brian disappear to the bathroom. He holds his breath and involuntarily puts his hands on his stomach. After what seemed like an eternity, but was only some seconds, Brian returned.

“I guess we should start looking for a bigger house,” and the smile on Brian’s face couldn’t make him not smile too.


	51. Chapter LI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely forgot that in other countries (I'm brazilian) the school calendar is different from here, and in England they are supposed to be on vacations during the summer, I'm so sorry for my mistake, but I guess that giving the fact that this is already an AU, I can be forgiven? And put the vacations in the end of the year because of the plot? 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter and thank you for all of you for reading, for the kudos and comments, it really means a lot xx

“You know, you are going to be a big sister,” Anna smiles. After she learned how to smile at her parents, that’s everything she does. “And you are going to be the best big sister in the world,”

Brian was changing her diapers and clothes to go to the doctor appointment. He asked for a day off, he won’t miss it for the world. They discussed if they should take Anna with them and decided that after it they can have family time, and it’s not like the clinic is a bad place for kids, after all that’s there where they have Anna’s own appointment with her pediatrician.

He was nervous. He knows he’s not supposed to be, but looking at his beautiful baby girl he remembers that he didn’t hear her heartbeat when she was only a little bean, but he has the opportunity to hear it now, for the first time, with the new baby. 

“But we’ll always love you, we’ll love you two exactly the same,” and talking to her is the best remedy right now. “You won’t remember any of these, but you will create memories with your brother or sister and you’ll both make us so proud… you already do, we are so happy with you,”

Roger was at the door, already dressed. He wants to enjoy his clothes while he can, and he was happy that now he could go back to wearing them… thankfully he still has the pregnant clothes he bought not that while ago. He was finding the scene in front of him very cute, he loves watching Brian interact with Anna, and now he’s excited to see how he will react with the discoveries of the pregnancy.

“Are you ready?” He asks them.

“Yes, we are,” Brian smiles and kisses Roger on the lips.

He puts Anna on the car seat, and goes to the passenger seat, Roger closes the door to their flat and goes to the car too. Brian would never admit, but he feels safer to ride with Roger now that they have a child, he drives under the speed limit and pays attention to everything. A real change.

They are in a comfortable silence, only the sound of the radio and the engine on. 

“Do you think we should change the car too?” Brian was thinking about how the car seat occupies a lot of space in the back seat, and having two of them will be almost impossible to carry other stuff there.

“Yeah, I guess so, we’ll need double space from now on...” Roger says, stops for a second and then sighs. “God, I really hope it’s not twins, if it is we are fucked,”

Brian laughs, but it’s indeed not that funny. “Freddie would love, he’s waiting for an opportunity to steal our kids…”

“After this one is born I will give them to him willingly to have a moment of peace,”

“Speaking of Freddie… did you tell him?” Brian asks, he wants to know if Roger wants to share the news, or if he wants to wait, he won’t tell anyone, not even his parents, before Roger says he can.

“Not yet, I’m gonna to show him a scan picture, he will be happy,”

“Definitely”

They arrive at the clinic and for the first time Roger feels safe and not judged at all. He feels stronger with Brian by his side, and he did a thing he never thought he would, but he’s at peace with himself to do: he let him do the talking and explain everything. It’s a common behaviour, most of the alphas do this, and Roger never liked it, he has his own voice, so what the hell wouldn’t he speak? No one owns him, he owns himself. But now is different. He already did it by himself, and he hated to be alone, now he has his alpha by his side and he’s thankful for it. It’s not like he’s going to be submissive now, he knows Brian loves his bossy way, he won’t change, but sometimes there’s no problem in being more traditional, especially if it is his own choice.

He’s grinning while waiting for Doctor Jones to call them, he sees a woman that he met on the last appointment he had while pregnant with Anna, and hopes she doesn’t recognise him, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone right now, just enjoy his time with his family. He hopes everything is doing well with her, though.

“Mr Taylor?” Dr Jones calls him eventually.

“I really hope soon it will be May too,” he comments while they get up. Brian looks at him and remembers to ask about it to him later, it’s a serious topic, does he really want to change his last name?

“Roger, Brian, it’s good to see you again,” Dr Jones says while sitting back on her chair. Roger, already used to the environment, also sits, Brian struggles a little to find a good space to put the baby stroller, Anna was already sleeping there.

“Yeah, we weren’t expecting to get pregnant so soon, but it happened, so…”

The doctor nods. “So, do you have any idea how long you are?” She asks, already writing down some things.

“No, I mean, we have a very active sex life, and it’s difficult to count,” Brian blushes while Roger was telling her it, it’s not that he’s ashamed or embarrased of talking about his sex life, it’s usually subject of debate on their nights out, but Michelle is a person he knows for years, and back on those days he was just a loser.

“Do you use any contraceptive?”

“We use condoms, and on the night we bonded I took those pills, so…” This time Roger was a little embarrassed, he knew he should think better about it, after all he’s the one who graduated in biology…

“It’s ok, we’ll find out now,”

Brian watches them getting up and going to the stretcher on the other side of the room. Roger takes off his shoes and lays there, very experienced. Dr Jones turns on a machine that Brian sees it’s an ultrasound. And what the hell is he supposed to do? Stay there? Go and stay beside Roger? He has no idea.

“Bri? You can come here, you’ll see better,” Roger calls him and he smiles.

“There’s a chair here, you can sit down too if you want,” Dr Jones points to her opposite side, and Brian does it. Involuntarily he takes Roger’s hands after he pulls his shirt up, he also looks over the doctor’s shoulder and watches Anna peacefully sleeping.

“Ok, let’s see…” the first image on the ultrasound machine is not clear, and Brian is trying to see something. “There,” she points to the little dot. Roger is smiling, he has forgotten how it is, and this time the emotions he’s feeling are only positive ones. And Brian can’t move.

“So given to the size and weight, you are now seven weeks,”

“Oh, so it was on the mating night, great,” Roger does the math and says. Dr Jones laughs. Brian wasn’t listening.

“Let’s hear the heartbeat now, but I can already tell everything is perfect,”

When the characteristic sound filled the room, Roger was emotional all over again, and he thinks he will be even if he has ten kids, it’s always special knowing that your little baby is really alive inside of you. And Brian? Finally Brian moved.

“Is it?” He asks, he’s clearly emotional too, and Roger doesn’t blame him.

“Yeah…” and they kiss, it’s a gesture that they were both expecting to do. Brian was finally experiencing it, and he deserves to enjoy the moment

After Roger quickly cleans himself and Brian helps him go back to the table, where Dr Jones was waiting for them. She was with the ultrasound pictures and with a blanked paper prescription.

“Everything is good, Roger, Brian, I’ll only ask for some routing exams, but it’s normal. Are you experiencing any sickness?”

Roger nods. “He’s having pretty bad morning sickness, there are days it lasts the whole day, others it passes and comes back during the night,” Brian is the one talking now, the cares are what he worries the most.

“It’s normal, I'll prescribe some vitamins, and if you have any doubts, you can call me,” this last part she says specifically to Brian.

“Thank you, doctor”

They leave the clinic. The three (four) of them, many things going on inside their minds, but the only thing they could talk about is the future. And the most important thing is that now they are together.


	52. Chapter LII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very difficult to write this chapter because end of the year is always a bitch...

Roger was thankful that this time Brian took the responsibility to write down every event. Well, he has a notebook where he writes down every new step of Anna’s development, of course he would do it to baby 2 too.

He’s happy for not being responsible for the writing memories because he’s been always fucking sick. He can’t put a thing in his stomach that the baby already protests and says ‘no no, you won’t eat anything until I say so’. And this is absolutely the worst part. Thankfully Anna is already playing by herself and gets distracted by literally anything you put in her hands, she also likes to play with her toes, so points for a baby being smarter than an adult, she never gets bored.

So he can run to the bathroom without worrying too much about her because he knows she’s good. He tries to not match their feeding time when Brian is not home, he always tries to eat something half an hour after he fed her. He has no idea how Brian manages to be with both of them when he’s at home, but he’s still afraid to ask.

He likes to read everything Brian writes. With baby 2 he started two weeks ago, when they had the pregnancy test positive, then a picture of the ultrasound for week seven, what he doesn’t like is that there’s also a picture of him. He thinks it’s funny because with Anna he thought that his denial in showing was because he was alone, but in reality he thinks it’s not him who’s important right now, so they shouldn’t focus on him. But it’s so cute to see Brian happy talking about how he will register everything that he can’t bring himself to say that he doesn’t feel comfortable. He already deprived Brian from everything the first time, he won’t cut short his enthusiasm by being a bitch.

But Anna’s notebook is the cutest. There’s a picture of her every week since she was born. Brian says he will do it weekly until she’s one year old, and then he’ll do it monthly. He can’t believe how much she grew up already, she already has her own features and personality, and she’s so lovely.

That Saturday they decided to call Freddie and John to have their traditional day together, with the whole family, children and everything. Roger wants to tell Freddie the first thing, because the probability of him getting sick in the middle of the lunch is high.

Of course Freddie and Jim were the first to arrive. Not having kids is truly amazing, because kids can be even slower than Freddie getting ready to go out.

“Oh, where’s my favorite blonde?” Freddie announces as soon as Roger opens the door for them, and passes through him straight to the couch where Brian is sitting with Anna. Roger rolls his eyes.

“I’m sorry about him,” Jim said while he politely greets Roger. He loves how different they are and still they are the perfect couple. Freddie is loud and extravagante, while Jim is quiet and shy. But Roger knew that Freddie would already be dead if it wasn’t for Jim’s wisdom.

“Another gift, Freddie? She’s only four months old, what will you give to her when he’s one?” Roger hears Brian talking to Freddie, and instead of joining them, he goes to the kitchen to finish everything. Brian, of course, made them sandwiches and fresh orange juice. Jim follows him.

And of course they didn’t clean the house or tidied up, and the ultrasound picture they will give to Freddie is in the fridge, the same place Roger used to put Anna’s ultrasound picture. And Jim noticed. He points to the picture and gives him a questioning look.

“Yeah, that’s how we’re going to tell him,” at this moment John arrives and Brian opens the door for them, of course Freddie is already with Anna.

“Can I?” Jim asks, taking the picture.

“Of course,”

They go back to the living room, already small to all of them.

“Hi Ronnie, Deaky,” Roger says while putting the plates on the coffee table, with Jim helping him, of course. Robert looks at the sandwiches and Roger’s heart wants to go all motherly with him. “Are you hungry, Robert?” The toddler nods.

He remembers to actually ask his parents who are in the room. “Does he eat bread? We still don’t have baby food, sorry,”

“It’s ok, Rog, yes, he does, he eats everything, actually,” John says.

“You’ll see, first we thought he wouldn’t eat well, but after he tasted everything we gave he started eating, now he’s not picky,” Ronnie added.

They eat and talk about everything, the new collection that arrived in the stall, Ronnie’s job, kids, and all they could think about. Roger was getting nervous because he couldn’t find a good opportunity to tell Freddie, and damn, it’s even more difficult than telling your partner, he wished he had already done it. He starts feeling something in the stomach, but is not sure if it’s because of the thought or if he’s going to really get sick.

Thankfully Brian sensed his change of mood and changed the subject. “So, we are going to search for a new house, want to come with us, Fred?”

“Oh, a new house? It’s lovely, of course, you know I’m a specialist in buying houses,”

“Good, because we want a big one, with a garden, and at least four rooms,”

“Of course,” and Roger curses because sometimes Freddie can be so oblivious. 

“Yeah, we need more space for the babies,” Roger also adds to the conversation.

“It’s indeed very small here, but we can always go to my house,” Freddie says, and damn, basically everybody there is getting stressed because of it.

Jim picks the picture he got from the fridge and John takes it from him, giving it to Freddie already.

“Oh, I already know you’re pregnant, darling,” John rolls his eyes.

“It’s not Roger,” Jim says. Brian smiles and Roger can’t react. Ronnie is laughing because they are a bunch of idiots, they can’t do anything normal. John had announced to Freddie his second pregnancy with a poster in front of the stall, and she still laughs about it.

“Oh, oh, oh, really? Like? Oh, I’m not offended that I’m the last one to know, but, oh, really?” 

Everybody is laughing.

“Yeah, really…” Roger says.

“Oh, Bri, I can’t believe you did this again,”

And he hugs both of them. Not without giving Anna to Jim to hold, of course.


	53. Chapter LIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the best chapter I ever wrote, it's shorter than usual, but there's fluff and a very important thing for the future...

Having a day alone with Anna was a rare occasion for Brian. The three of them were together all the time when he was home and he, as an alpha, is not supposed to take care of their child alone. But this time he sent Roger to Clare’s house, he knows the two siblings miss each other and Roger needs to take his mind off a little, it was not easy to convince him to leave Anna, even Clare had to tell him that it’s ok if he goes alone. At the end it worked out and now Roger is (hopefully) having fun with his sister while Brian is (definitely) having fun with their daughter.

Sometimes he gets sad for missing so much last year, but he is trying to make it up in those moments. Anna is a sweet baby, she’s so calm and is happy all the time, she cries only when she’s hungry or needs to change diapers, but most of the time they already prevent doing it before she complains, and Brian is so proud of her.

Since he got back many things changed in his life: he’s now a doctor, he has his own position at the University, he is a dad, has bonded with the love of his life, is about to get married next year and they are going to have baby 2. Sometimes it is too much to process, but these changes are for the best, they are adults now, officially.

But he won’t be alone for much time, he asked Freddie to come and help him choose the new house. This is another thing that Roger let him choose, and it is a little suspicious, he thinks that he wants to ‘punish’ himself and Brian thinks it's absurd, but he won’t complain or talk about it right now. Thankfully he knows what Roger likes, so he can make a decision without it being completely out of Roger’s taste for a home. 

Of course he needs Freddie’s help, he would never be able to buy a house by himself. While he’s waiting, he’s sitting on the floor with Anna, it’s still summer and hot, even inside, so he leaves her there on the carpet, playing with her favorite teddy bear. 

After he changed her diaper, he put her in a different position. He sits and puts her with her on her tummy, she giggles, so she might like this new position. But then she does something he didn’t expect at all, she pushes her head and chest up, looking at him and smiling. 

“Oh, look at you,” he says lovingly and quickly takes a picture, he puts the camera aside to enjoy the moment. “Are you getting neck control, baby? You’re growing up so fast,”

She keeps giggling and smiling, enjoying her new discovery too.

“You are such a smart little girl, aren’t you?” He says when she does another thing, she tries to reach forward to him, pointing with her little finger. And it almost makes him cry, and yeah, Roger is right, she does love him too, she always recognised him.

He picks her up and kisses her tummy, she giggles even more. They keep playing like this until they hear a knock at the door. “Uncle Freddie is here, let’s open the door for him?”

They get up and he picks Anna in a way she can look forward, of course holding her head, he still doesn’t want to risk anything. 

“Hello uncle Freddie,” he knows Freddie loves being called uncle.

“Hello my sunshine, and hello Bri,” he says happily.

“Thank you for coming, Fred,”

“You know I love seeing my beautiful niece,” he sits on the armchair. “Where is Goldilocks?”

“He’s out with Clare, that’s why I asked you to come here, to give me a light, I need to find us a house,” he explains, although he had already told him about his thoughts of moving.

“Oh, it explains a lot, you two are inseparable,”

Brian rolls his eyes, but it’s true, they just want to make up the time they lost. “Do you want some tea?”

“Oh, darling, you are too polite, I’m good,”

“Ok.” He laughs. “Here, I have the estate agency catalogue, I liked some, but I won’t choose until you see those you liked,” he explained to Freddie.

“Hmm, they are all beautiful,” Freddie says after taking a meticulous look.

“That’s not what you are supposed to say,”

Freddie rolls his eyes as if it was him who was a little angry. “Fine, I liked this one, it has four rooms and plenty of space in the garden, even for your flowers and cats in the future, and the kids will have a place to play too… and you can also give a party there! It’s the most expensive one, but I liked it.”

“Yeah, I liked that one too. Rog will like it too, right?” He asks just in case…

“Of course, darling, if you ask him to go live in a bus he will go live in a bus with you… but you will visit together, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, I guess so, we didn’t talk about it, he said I could choose and he’s going to be happy with whatever I decide,” he tells him and finishes with a sigh.

“It’s the hormones, dear, but take him there, I’m sure he’ll love, and when we decorate it, it will be even better,”

“What would I do without you, Fred?”

“Oh, you would be nothing,” Freddie jokes, but he’s right, he has everything because of him, he wouldn’t even have met Roger if it wasn’t for him.

And they don’t usually hug, the physical contact is more reserved to Roger, but this time he can’t help himself, thanking his friend for everything. And he means it.


	54. Chapter LIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay! I've been constantly tired this week and couldn't sit down to write. Will try to post the next chapter on Saturday, or maybe Sunday, and then try to keep the schedule as normal.
> 
> Enjoy!

Roger was sick of it. Literally. He didn’t want to complain, but this time was definitely worse. He couldn’t keep any kind of food in, and the only thing he could keep in was apple juice and he can’t even see it in front of him anymore. He’s constantly tired and wants Brian with him the whole time. 

Not that this last thing is bad, he actually thinks it’s the only good part in all of this. Especially that Brian  _ is _ with him and all his attention is for his family when he’s not working. Anna makes it better too, when they are in bed, when Brian is not there, he puts her on her dad’s side of the bed, and she tries to move closer to him. It’s very cute to see her rolling and squirming to reach him. Everytime it happens he’s not feeling well, but in the end his daughter’s cuddles make him smile. In the end he will have two, so it’s probably worth it.

Sometimes he wanted to blame on Brian. How could he make him pregnant  _ again _ ? The last time he did it and left to study in another country without having an idea of what was happening and what he left behind, and now, only months after he came back and the first baby was born, when they were still getting used to this life as parents and they wanted to have all the time available to make up the time they lost, there, he’s pregnant again.

But is it really Brian’s fault? No, it’s not, he does everything to him, to them. He’s working and doing all the hard work of buying a new house and all the stuff for their wedding. Oh, god, will they still get married? He hopes so, although the idea of getting in a suit while pregnant does not bring good feelings.

He’s guilty too. First, he was the one who kept the first pregnant from Brian and had to do through everything alone; second, he didn’t start taking pills when he knew he had to; third, it needs two people to make a baby and he certainly enjoyed the sex.

Anna is wide awake. With some difficulties he managed to go to the kitchen and just heat a little the bottle of milk Brian had left ready. He’s very thoughtful, how could Roger even think of putting the blame on him? And now he was trying to put Anna for a nap, but she was very interested in a book she’s opening and closing without having an idea of what it is. 

When Brian arrived they were like this, Roger just looking at her doing her thing. 

“Hey babe, how was work today?” He asks before Brian leans down for a kiss.

“It was stressful, but it’s normal, the students sometimes don’t care for what we say,” he says, also leaving a kiss on Anna’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

_ Guilty _ , Roger wants to say. He was supposed to be making dinner for them and getting a bath ready for Brian to relax, after all he’s the one working. But no, he can’t even get up without getting dizzy and he can’t walk without feeling the nausea getting worse. 

“Not that great, been better…” he says instead.

“If I can do something, please tell me,” Brian is changing the clothes and an idea passes through his mind while watching his fiance almost naked, but he’s not sure if going all the way with sex will be good for him.

“Just cuddle with me?” He suggests.

“Let me first get dinner ready, ok? I know you don’t feel like it, but you have to eat,” usually Roger would be mad for Brian making him eat when he doesn’t want to, but would eat either way because he knows it’s good for him, but this time he doesn’t even have the strength to think about getting mad. He nods.

“This one is hungry too?” Brian asks, sitting beside Anna, making her stay in the middle of them.

“Soon, I think, it’s been some time that she ate, but she didn’t sleep, probably will eat now and sleep the whole night…” he says, looking at her. He looks at Brian when he finishes speaking, but he sees the light Brian has in his eyes while looking at their daughter. “She’s such a good baby, isn’t she? Never thought she would let us sleep the whole night because she sleeps too,”

“She’s perfect… do you think baby two will be like this too?”

“Will we really call them baby two?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, but they say one is very different from the other, so the probability baby two will be like me is very high,” Roger says, but he’s not sure if he’s ready for it, he can handle Brian very well, so having a baby like him is heaven. But a baby with his personality? It seems like hell for him.

“I would love to have a mini Roger,” Brian leans for a kiss before getting up.

“You have no idea what you are talking about,” but Brian doesn’t answer because he’s already in the kitchen. Roger can hear him doing his thing there, probably making a soup with the rest of the food they (he) had yesterday.

He decides to get up too, and thankfully this time he doesn’t feel sick and the smell coming from the kitchen is actually good. He picks Anna and takes her with him, it’s time for her milk again.

“Can you heat the milk?” Brian is humming a song that Roger never heard before. “Thinking about a new song?”

There’s been a while since they thought about music, they’ve been so distracted by kids and work that their favorite hobby was put aside. “Yeah, it just came to my mind right now,” he says and handles Roger the bottle. 

It’s so domestic that makes the blond forget she’s been sick for the past weeks. It’s not what he imagined for his life, but it’s exactly what he needs.

“Are you feeling better about eating everything?” Brian asks after putting the soup on the plates.

“I think so… the first trimester is ending, so hopefully next week everything will be fine,” he smiles and realizes it’s been a while since he did so. Brian smiled back.

“It was like this with Anna too?” Brian is obviously curious to know what happened during those months, but they never talked about it.

“No, it was much better, I could actually go to work and live like a normal person, still had morning sickness, of course, but it ended after the 12th week, so…” he explains, trying not to make Brian feel bad for losing those moments.

“Baby two is definitely different then…” Brian opens a smile. 

Yeah, but they can handle it, he thinks.


	55. Chapter LV

Roger thought he would be ready to go back to work. At first he thought he would never be like a housewife, to enjoy staying at home with the kids and not earning his own money - he won’t say doing the other things housewives are supposed to do, because the only thing he can do is put the clothes in the washing machine and that’s it. 

And given the fact that he was supposed to go back one month ago but Freddie said he didn’t want him throwing up in their bathroom, he should be ecstatic to go back doing what he likes to do, which is giving his opinion on what other people should wear - and he’s good at it. But he’s not. He thought many times about quitting. Freddie already had the other women working with him, so it wouldn’t change, but at the same time he would lose the money, because he was getting paid for the leaving. And especially now that they need to buy another house and change the car, they can’t live only with Brian’s money, even if he’s earning more now.

The first thing he didn’t want to give up was his time alone with Anna, he was so used to just cuddling with her, playing with her, reading her some books that she still doesn’t understand. The other thing is that he doesn’t want to leave her with someone else. He and Brian discussed it a lot, and in the end the best option was to leave Anna with Ruth. She, of course, accepted, saying that since Brian grew up she was ready to take care of her grandchildren. Brian wasn’t talking to his father and it made everything worse, they still didn’t tell them about baby two and the only thing that they know is that they need Ruth to take care of Anna because Roger will go back to work.

Brian was sure that his father was mad because it simply doesn’t happen, you don’t need someone to look after your kid during the day because the omega can’t work. And despite them being open minded, this is not a thing that they taught him because his mum stopped working after he was born. When he said it, Roger was ready to tell him that he doesn’t want to go back to work and is not ready. But he didn’t.

But today, when they are about to leave to start their new routine, he can’t move. In this new routine they will all leave together, Roger will drop Brian at the University, then take Anna to the May’s and then go to work. He’s used to driving Brian to work, but will he be able to leave Anna?

“Hey, Rog, are you ok?” Brian went to check why it was taking him so long to get Anna ready.

“No, I can’t leave her alone,” he says in a desperate voice.

“You know, I was like this too, I didn’t want to go back to work because I wanted to be with you two the whole day…” Roger looked at him with his pouty face and Brian got closer to kiss it. Anna on her crib without having an idea of what was happening. “But in the end it was ok, because I can come home to her and you everyday. And… she will be with family, not alone,”

“Ok…” he believes on what Brian is saying, he can only think about her the whole day, and the moment he picks her up at the end of the day will be the happiest moment.

“Are you feeling better?” Brian asked, they had just had breakfast, and thankfully he’s not getting sick anymore for a couple of days. Here to better moments of the pregnancy.

“Yes, the second trimester is supposed to be the better one, so…”

“That’s good, so we can enjoy it…” he gives him another kiss. “Ready to go? Or we’ll be late,”

Roger takes a deep breath and picks up Anna. “Yeah, let’s go.”

By the time they were in the car Roger was feeling calmer. Brian was talking about the classes he has today and about a trip to an observatory he will do with one of the classes. When they arrived there, Brian said goodbye with a kiss, and threw a kiss to Anna, she was smiling and babbling, but soon became a little grumpy when she realized her dada was leaving. 

When Roger was driving again, he looked at her from the rearview and saw she was quieter than normal. She’s been babbling a lot and he’s getting used to hearing her little voice all the time.

“Are you sleepy? We’re already arriving at grandma’s, you’ll love playing with her,” he doesn’t like using the ‘baby voice’ with her, she can understand the words and when she starts speaking too, she needs to know the right way.

He’s still not sure and when he arrives there, he’s trembling. Ruth greets them and happily takes Anna in her arms, not without some resistance from him. He handles her the bag too, with clothes and the bottles with milk and explains everything.

“Don’t worry, Roger, it’s not the first time I take care of a baby and not the first time I stay with her, it will be ok.”

“Ok,” Roger tries to calm down. Ok, yeah, it will be ok. He kisses his daughters forehead and, reluctantly, goes back to the car.

He drives to the place he knows for years. It’s been ages since he started working with Freddie, and so many things changed since then. He met Brian and started dating, they learned how to live in a relationship, they stayed away from each other for nine months, they had a daughter, they got bonded, they have another baby on the way… He grew up so much since Freddie let him work there. And thinking about it right now, he’s grateful that he has somewhere to go back to. Right now, his work, after that, his daughter and soon-to-be husband.

He starts feeling something in his stomach, but it’s probably just the nervousness and the anxiety he’s been feeling the whole day. It all got better when he saw Freddie. It will be good to see other people again.


	56. Chapter LVI

Brian was more worried than ever.

They were doing this for about two weeks, and not one single day they got out without Brian asking Roger if he was feeling ok. It was obvious that he was not ok and obviously he’s still sick, but he doesn’t say a word. And that’s what he was worried about. Roger didn’t say a word after running to the bathroom, with Brian right after him. He didn’t say a word when he’s tired and kept denying it.

He’s not sure, but Roger should probably be gaining weight by now and eating more. He even said that the second trimester is better, right? So why is it so similar to the first trimester? And why does he keep denying the pictures he wants to take of him and the - he hopes soon - growing belly? 

Brian wants the best for his family, he wants Roger to be happy, to have a happy pregnancy and enjoy it properly as he didn’t the first time. He even had to ask John how Roger was when he was pregnant with Anna, and it seems like he didn’t want to show and tell people, but he was very fond of the idea of having a baby. Brian interpreted it as him being alone. But now? Now they are all together, and it still seems like Roger didn’t want to  _ be _ pregnant.

He really tried not to think like this, but it’s impossible without actually knowing. Yes, he said once that he is really happy to have a family with him, but he can change his mind, can’t he? And Brian has been so fucking happy, with Anna, with baby two, everything. And fuck, next week they are even supposed to visit the house they want to buy to decide if they will do it or not. They are moving even more into being a proper couple. 

And Roger is still sick!

“Are you ok love?”

They are laying on the bed, they just ate a light dinner Brian made for them and just put Anna to sleep. Roger is laying with his hand on Brian’s chest and Brian is playing with Roger’s hair while thinking about everything happening in their lives.

And of course it was Roger the one who asked this question, because Brian is overthinking and he can feel it. And damn it, he is more worried about  _ him overthinking _ than to himself being sick? And what will he do? Lie too and say he’s fine? That he’s not worried about his own family?

“Rog…”

“I can hear you overthinking, talk to me,” the way Roger says it makes his heart warm, because everything he does is to make sure he is fine, and how can he be mad at him for it? They are proper mates now.

“So tell me what  _ you _ are thinking, Rog, I can feel you are not well…” he says, they are still in the same position, doing the same thing they were doing before they started talking.

“We have an appointment tomorrow, it will be ok”

“No it…”

“And I’m not constantly sick anymore, it’s just… it will be ok, Bri, it will pass too,”

“I just want to see you fine, babe, I don’t want to see you all pale and struggling to even drive. Anna can see it too, you know,”

“I know, but it’s normal, trust me, a lot of people also feel sick after some weeks, we’ll ask everything to Dr Jones tomorrow, but I’m sure the baby is 100%,” Roger is so calm that Brian thinks if he knows something else that he doesn’t and doesn’t want to tell him. 

“I worry about you too, you three are the most precious things in my life,”

And they fell asleep like this.

The next day Brian was reluctant to go to work. He wanted to anticipate the appointment and not let Roger go to work either. But he doesn’t have the courage to impose something so they did the same thing they do everyday. They had breakfast with him looking closely at any symptoms Roger may have, fed Anna, put her in the car, Roger drove him to the University, Anna was not happy at all that he was leaving, then Roger left her with Ruth and went to work.

His mind was not in his classroom and he made a lot of mistakes while thinking about how Roger is doing. The students were annoyed, he knows, when he was in their place he also thought that the professors knew everything and didn’t commit mistakes. But the reality is different and he too has a life outside his job. The fact that he’s still young makes it more difficult too.

He’s in the middle of his fifth class of the day when someone knocked at the door. The person, probably the old lady that stays at the teacher’s room, was saying that someone was calling, asking for him and telling that he needs to get Roger. At first he thought he was imagining things because Roger has been in his mind the whole day, but then a student asked.

“Mr May, isn’t Roger your husband?”

“Yeah, he’s not my husband yet, but soon…” he already told the story to the class, it’s a first year so they need to hear other things besides calculus.

Oh, right, so she’s talking about Roger.

Oh.

“I’m sorry… I...”

“It’s ok Mr May”

He runs to the phone, cursing that his room is away from the phone they use. And he knew it, damn it, he couldn’t have left Roger alone, he should’ve taken him to the hospital yesterday and not wait for something to happen. Because for them to call him while he’s working, it’s not good news.

“What?” He didn’t even say hello, he was already stressed enough.

“Bri? Thank God! Come get Roger, please, he says he’s ok, but it looks like he’s going to faint here, and he doesn’t let me near him”

Fuck. “I’m going, Fred,” he hangs up and starts pacing, how will he get there if Roger has the car? Yeah, a taxi.

He goes back to his classroom and apologies to the students, he could see they were worried but at the same time happy that they won’t need to study anymore today. He then goes to the taxi stand near the parking lot. He quickly gives the driver the address and tries to focus on the bond. He tries to understand what is happening, how Roger is feeling, but everything is a mess. 

He pays the driver and needs to walk a little, why did Freddie have his stall in the middle of the market? 

When he got there, Roger was talking to a customer, doing his thing as always. By far now Brian can tell that he’s thinner, and that’s definitely not normal, and he’s more pale than before. When the blonde finishes and the woman pays for whatever she bought, Brian comes in. 

“Bri? What are you doing here?” He asks and looks at Freddie, who has a very worried expression.

“Let’s go Rog, you need to stop a little,”

“I’m fine…”

“No, you are not. I’m here now, Rog, you don’t need to pretend, I’m here to take care of you,”

And when he comes closer and hugs him, Roger starts crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I can guarantee you everything will end up ok and everyone will be happy


	57. Chapter LVII

Brian was impressed by how fast everything worked at the clinic. He didn’t like them, they were very rude to him when he was obviously stressed and he had to almost punch the security guards and physically pass through everything just to be with Roger during the birth of their daughter. So yes, he has all the rights to hate them. 

But right now he needs to be grateful. He was also a little suspicious about the place because it was his father who suggested it, it’s not cheap to even be there, and he’s still not talking to him. But it’s much better to be there than in a hospital.

They quickly made some exams on Roger and put him in a room, this time Brian could be with him all the time and he was less nervous because of it. They were waiting for dr Jones as a nurse said she would be there soon. They put an IV on his arm, the nurse said something about hydration and a medicine for the nausea.

Brian was still worried, the whole time he held Roger’s hands, not wanting to let go. Roger was calm, although he could feel he was worried too. They didn’t share a word until Dr Jones arrived, they didn’t need to.

“Hello Roger, Brian, tell me what happened during these last weeks?” She asked while preparing the ultrasound machine, the first thing she did. She probably had already received the results of the exams they did before, Brian didn’t count, but it’s been more than one hour since they arrived in the room.

Roger looked at him, he was watching carefully what Dr Jones was doing, but when Brian didn’t answer and he didn’t as well, he realized that everyone was silent. He was asking, with his eyes, for Brian to tell her what’s happening. The problem is that Brian has no idea what is wrong.

“He’s been feeling sick the past weeks, even if the first trimester is already over, he couldn’t eat properly and I realized he’s been losing weight too, he’s also paler than usual,” Roger is looking at him while he’s speaking, and in response Brian held his hand even tighter. 

“Ok, given the symptoms and the other exams, it’s probably hyperemesis gravidarum, a more severe morning sickness. But don’t worry, with rehydration and the medicine for nausea you will be fine soon,” she smiles at them to make them feel better. And Brian does, a little, at least it’s treatable. “Now let’s see how this little one is doing?”

Roger nods. Brian knows he’s been worried more about the baby than about himself. They can’t take their eyes off the monitor, Roger didn’t even flinch with the cold gel. It took longer for the image to show on the monitor, but it’s probably because they are waiting for it. Roger thought about that time when he was at the hospital when he was pregnant with Anna, but Brian doesn’t know about it.

“There, given the measure the baby is a little small for the 15th week, but they will gain weight as you do too,” she turns on the heartbeat. “Strong heartbeat,”

Roger smiles and Brian smiles too, not only because the baby is healthy, but because Roger is relieved. 

“So what should we do now?” Brian asks, they probably should be more careful.

“I’ll keep Roger here for the next couple of days so we can get everything stable, then control everything with the food and some exercises are good too. Anna will start eating solid food soon, won’t she? You can introduce her to the same vegetables and fruits you should eat. I can give you the number of a very good nutritionist, she can help you two.”

“That will be nice, thank you doctor”

“I will leave you two now, if anything happen just press the button there and a nurse will come immediately,”

Once she left Roger started crying, and it confused Brian. They were happy knowing that everything is fine and soon both of them will be 100% again.

“Hey, what’s going on babe?”

Roger shakes his head and then tries to say. “Co-come here with me?”

“Of course,” he takes off his shoes and Roger makes a space on the bed for him. Again, the blond was thinking about that night and how he wished back then that Brian was with him. And now he is.

“Here, everything is ok, babe,” he puts his arms around Roger, who lays on his chest.

“I don’t know…” he says, and Brian waits for some time, caressing Roger’s arms. “I’m so sorry, Bri,”

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Rog,”

“I do, I tried to do everything right, but I can’t, Bri, I can’t…” Brian is even more confused now, but Roger continues. “I tried to be a good omega for you, but I can’t… and then I put the life of our baby in danger because I wanted to take care of myself… I’m sorry for disappointing you,”

They can’t look at each other because of the position, but it broke Brian’s heart only to hear it. It’s always been a problem Roger thinks about those things, but he always made sure to tell him he loves him like this, that he wouldn’t have wanted him any different from who he is.

“You didn’t disappoint me, Rog. On the contrary, I’m so proud of you, and you are my perfect omega, I love you, you don’t own me anything. And if you want me to do something for you, just ask, but we are a couple, ok? We do everything together,”

Roger nods.

“And you didn’t do nothing wrong, it happens, now you are getting treatment and soon we’ll be home,”

“I miss Anna…” Roger says after a while.

“I miss her too,”

“She’s still a baby, I should be taking care of her,”

“But now you are here to be 100%, soon you will be completely well to take care of her, and play with her, she needs you healthy too,”

“Bri?”

“Hm?”

“I love you, I would be nothing without you”

“I love you too, and I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler for the next chapter: unseen scenes from the period Brian was away


	58. Chapter LVIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: depression and thoughts about suicide.
> 
> Skip it if you feel uncomfortable or is triggered. After the **** there's fluff, you can safely go there.

_ One year ago _

Brian was doing everything he ever wanted. He always wanted to spend nights looking at the stars and studying them, trying to decipher what they want to tell him and trying to find a meaning to them. 

His routine was crazy and he needed to stay up all night, and in the middle of it he had to call Roger everyday. At first he didn’t complain, he knew it was going to happen, so he embraced it. As the days went by, the writing and the observations stopped becoming a pleasing thing, stopped becoming a thing he enjoys and started being an obligation. His schedule was already tight, tighter than the others, he wanted to finish it as soon as possible, so the days out on the city and the nights off drinking he skipped them all. Suddenly, the hour he spent talking to Roger became the best thing in his entire day, and it was not only because he missed him, but also because he could be himself there, not pretend he was enjoying something he was not, because it was only when Roger asked him about his work that he could talk about it with enthusiasm.

But it was four months after he got there that it got worse. He had almost half of his thesis already written, he could just take it easy now, but he couldn’t. Every night he was out there doing exactly the same thing. And what was the purpose, anyway? What will he gain from doing it? A title? There’s no point in being there, tiring himself to death to do something that will not even be that important. Why is he here either way?

One day he decided to go to the city. It is indeed very beautiful, but he can’t enjoy it, he has only one thing in his mind. He goes to a pharmacy and finds how incredibly easy it is for alphas to buy anything they want, and he’s shocked by the way they treated an omega man who was before him. He bought the pills he wanted and quickly got back to the observatory and into his room. He should probably be sleeping right now, but what’s the point in sleeping now? Tomorrow he won’t be doing this anymore either way.

He waits there, holding the bottle of the pills in his hand, waiting for the time to call Roger, it’s the last thing he wants to do. He thinks if they will tell him, and how he will react. Probably he will be sad in the beginning, but after he will overcome it and find another person, better than him, obviously.

As everyday, Roger answers the phone in the first ring. They start talking about how Roger’s day went and he told him something about Freddie, but he really couldn’t pay attention, he was just hearing his voice without understanding the meaning of them, he wanted to hear the raspy voice, so different in the phone, but lovely nonetheless. 

It was just when he stopped saying what he was saying before that Brian returned to reality. And it’s almost like Roger was reading his mind, because what he said next changed something inside of him.

“You’ll always be the most important person in my life. I know I always say it, but Bri, when you get back we’ll have amazing things to do, you’ll see. We’ll be so happy together, I promise you,” he hears Roger speaking, happily. He looks down at the pills. “We can buy a new house! I know you love this flat, but we need a big space, don’t we? Oh, you can have a window just to put a telescope and then you can show me the stars, what do you think? We can sit there together, naked, with only one blanket covering both of us, I will be in your lap and you’ll point me the stars, I won’t understand a shit, but I’ll be so happy because we will do it together,”

Plans, plans, plans. He didn’t want to make plans, but he can’t deny that listening to Roger say those things make him want to have it. 

“Bri?”

“Hm?”

“I love you, you know that, don’t you? I will always be here for you, no matter what. We are in this together, if you give up I give up too. You are the love of my life and I would be nothing without you, I would be a mediocre man trying to have fun with other people to fulfill the emptiness inside of me, but instead, with you, I’m complete, and I have everything. All because of you,”

In this moment he gets up, with the pills still in his hand, and throws them at the trash can. Because this is why he’s doing it, it may seem pointless now, but he does it because of Roger, because of the life he wants to have with him, because he learned that the love their share is more important than everything, because he does have a future. And this is  _ their _ dream, Roger already said to him.

“What was this noise?” Roger asked on the other side of the phone.

“Nothing, I’m just grateful to have you, Rog, we’ll do everything you said, and much more. I promise you,”

*

*

*

*

_ Nowadays _

They were still at the clinic, Roger was much better and Ruth took Anna there so they could see her. It also improved Roger’s mood the other day and Brian was much more relieved. It seems like in the night they spent without seeing their daughter she grew up even more, and they can’t wait to be at home with her again.

But now they have to take care of baby 2, who’s growing healthy and now is even stronger. It was only that night when Brian could feel it. Until now Roger’s belly has been flat, the same way it was before, and the same way he got only days after Anna was born. Doctor Jones said it is because he’s still young and the bump is really different from pregnancy to pregnancy, and in the second one the probability of showing early is higher, but they got no such luck, or that’s what Brian thinks. He can see the differences in Roger’s hair, skin and scent, in the pictures he takes he can’t spot those differences that much, but it’s never too much having pictures of him.

But now, now he can feel it, it’s still small, but it’s there. He caresses it, he wants to say something, but Roger is with his eyes closed. They stay there for a while.

“You know, with Anna it took more than half of the pregnancy for me to show, I thought baby 2 would be different, but now I think they will grow more…”

Brian kisses his forehead, he loves hearing about when Roger was pregnant with Anna.

“...Because I’m happy now,” Roger concludes his thoughts. And Brian smiles. Finally. But if he could, he would say everyday that Roger is the most beautiful person in this world.

“I’m happy too, love,”

“I think the best way to live it is enjoy it, you know? I was never mad that I was pregnant again so soon, but it’s hard… but now, after this happened, I want to have what I didn’t before,”

“We’ll have it all, Rog, we’ll live our best life with our little family,”

And Brian is so, so, so grateful and happy to have Roger in his life, or he wouldn’t have one.


	59. Chapter LIX

“We need to be careful, she may be allergic to something, it needs to be smooth or she may choke, she’s not teething yet,”

They decided to start introducing solid food to Anna right in the mark of the six months. Her pediatrician said it is the right thing to do and she is already ready to get to know new tastes. In the beginning, until she’s used to it, they will feed her with solid food only during the dinner, the other meals will still be the formula. 

This first day Brian is cooking, like always, but instead of sitting down in the chair and oogle Brian the whole time while holding Anna, Roger is behind him, looking at the pan and telling his fiance what could go wrong if they don’t do everything right with the food.

“Rog, love, this is not even her food, we’ll give her papaya and it doesn’t need to cook, don’t worry, I will make sure it doesn’t have pieces,”

Roger is not convinced, he’s been reading some books about baby development and there are many things that can go wrong, they are such fragile creatures, and Anna is still so small, despite being six months old, half a year already!

“Do you think she will like it?” He changed his tone from a rushed one to a worried one.

“Do you like my food?” Brian asks, now putting the lid on the pan to let it finish cooking. 

“Of course I do! But to be honest I ate your mum’s food when I was pregnant with her,”

“Well, lucky you because I learn how to cook with her,” he winks. He makes sure the fruit is smooth enough and gives the bowl to Roger. Anna is sitting in her chair with the belt, she still doesn’t sit unsupported, but she’s developing it and they think that in a few weeks she will reach this milestone.

Brian is with his camera ready, he would never miss this moment, especially that Roger is wearing a tight shirt that shows the small bump, he would never do this if Brian wasn’t at home.

“Are you ready to discover new things, Anna? Hm? This is papaya, it’s healthy and your daddy loves it, you are just like him, so I’m hoping you’ll like too,” she was watching Roger as he said it, impressed by everything, but it’s probably just her hearing her papa’s voice.

He holds the spoon near her mouth and she quickly opens it. She lets a little of the fruit drop, but she swallows without problem. Both of them wait to see her face, she takes a while to show if she liked or not, and they were already getting worried, it probably didn’t take that much, but they can be dramatic about it as much as they want.

She smiles, and thankfully Brian catches it with the camera.

“She liked it!” Roger turns to say it to him, smiling too. “You liked your first fruit, baby? You are such a good girl, you are a big girl now already eating,” he says to her and gives her the rest of the bowl. She eats it well and Roger is sure that she’s 100% like Brian.

They only manage to eat after they put her to sleep. Roger was worried, of course, if she wouldn’t throw up, but she took it well and quickly fell asleep. They turn on the baby monitor and go to the kitchen to eat. Brian is happy that now Roger is eating well and is feeling good after it, actually he’s eating much more than before, and he really  _ asks _ him for healthy food, he never thought he would live in a world where Roger Taylor would eat healthy willingly.

When they were in bed, Brian spooning Roger, as always, and a hand on the bump, now enjoying their moment alone and, of course, with baby 2, something goes through Brian’s mind. If he wasn’t a professor who has countless students and many essays and tests to make and correct, and classes to plan, he would go to the library to learn everything about baby  _ and  _ pregnancy development. But it turns out that he doesn’t have the time and the only things he knows is because the doctors and Roger told him.

“So Anna can now eat solid food and is almost sitting by herself… but what baby 2 can do right now?”

Roger puts a hand on top of Brian’s and thinks about what happens during the 19th week. “Baby is the size of an onion, I think? Oh, they are growing faster now… hmm… now their brain is well developed and their heartbeat is more steady, you’ll know what I mean in the next ultrasound… what else? Oh! They can hear us already!”

That made Brian happy. “They can hear? I don’t need to talk to the bump, right? They hear just fine like this?” A young Brian would never ask things like this, he would try to learn by himself, but this Brian is mature enough to tell he doesn’t know everything, especially that the biologist  _ is  _ Roger, after all, he literally studied it.

“No no, it’s cute, though, but they can hear just fine, of course, not like us, but Anna could hear you by the phone, this one is 100% sure,”

Brian nods and kisses his head. “I can sing to them,”

“Yes, please.”

  
  


The next day Brian didn’t have the morning classes so they could go to the house they wanted to buy. They took Anna with them, after all she’ll move to a different place too, and she needs to like it. Roger said she’ll like the place if they are together, because that’s what really matters to her.

They had a tour in the house and it turns out that it’s even better than in the pictures. The living room is bigger than their actual house and the rooms are very illuminated, perfect to the babies. The main bathroom is a dream, the bathtub is bigger than they imagined, and Roger put his hands on Anna’s ear and said to Brian quietly “we can now have sex on the bathtub”. He blushed, of course.

The garden, they can’t even tell, everything is perfect.

“So?” Brian asked Roger when they finished the tour.

“Yes, it’s everything we ever dream…”

“You can move in one month if you want to,” the agent told them. And Roger smiled. Perfect, he will still be able to walk properly and they will need to paint the nurseries.

“We can ask Freddie to help me paint the walls,” Brian said when they were going to his parents to leave Anna with Ruth.

“To help you?”

“Yes, of course, or do you think I will let you do the heavy work with me? No way, you’ll just watch,” and Roger will never say no to it.

“So we can already tell the furniture store to deliver what we bought there?” He remembered they already bought the new furniture, only a few things they will take from their flat and, of course, everything from Anna’s nursery, they will need to buy new ones for baby 2.

“Yes, I see no problem in that, it’s even better actually,”

And Roger smiles. Finally everything is working, and he’ll make sure everything stays perfect, because they deserve it.


	60. Chapter LX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very sweet chapter, only fluff

Everything was in place now. Roger was enjoying working again and it made everything easier. He loved to get to know better the new collection Freddie drew and was surprised to see that now he has a section only for pregnant people. Of course John loved it, he likes everything Freddie does and Roger had to roll his eyes when he saw that he was already wearing them and was trying to help sell the clothes.

They tried to convince him to wear the clothes, especially the pants, because according to Freddie they were made especially for him, that they will valorize his ass and every pregnant omega will want to buy them. But he refused. It’s not because he learned how to enjoy the bump that he will show it to everyone, no thank you, it is exclusive to home.

“Well, if it’s that good I’ll only let Bri see it,”

“Oh, you are already like this?” Freddie says dramatically, putting a hand on his heart.

“I’m taken,” he shrugs.

“See our boy John here, he’s also taken and he’s helping me advertising my collection,” he makes John turn around to show what he’s wearing.

“Yes, he looks amazing, but no, thank you, you don’t need advertising, and I can sell the clothes without wearing them, I’m in this business for years!”

“You are right, darling, you are the best here, that’s why I got you in the first place,” Freddie winks.

“I thought you got me because you needed someone to steal clothes so you could sell…”

“Well, that too, but look how far we came!” He points around and the three of them laugh. So yeah, he was happy at work and he definitely wasn’t thinking that in a few months he’ll have another maternity leave, but it will probably be easier. 

He’s singing along with the song playing on the radio while he was waiting for Brian in the University parking lot, he was late, probably talking to a student. He tends to do it, he helps every student that shows interest in his subject, and Roger knows it’s rare, who likes calculus? Os physics? So he doesn’t judge him for wanting to help. Actually he wishes he had professors like this, in reality he only had professors who judged him for being an omega and studying, he really had to do everything by himself.

He had a jacket on, it was still the end of October, but he felt even more cold than he did before, he wished he lived in summer forever. He has no idea how Brian can walk around with only a t-shirt on - tank tops are only allowed when they are together  _ and _ at home, he can’t help but get horny every time he sees his fiance on them, it is how it is.

And he almost didn’t feel it, he was so entertained with the song, drumming on the wheel. At first he had his doubts, he opened the jacket zipper and put a hand on the bump. “Hey you there,” he says. This is it, he can finally feel baby 2 moving. He thought he would feel it sooner, but everything is a mess and sometimes it’s like it’s not the second pregnancy, because he’s experiencing many new things and getting to know his body better only now. “You are getting stronger, aren’t you? I can’t wait for your daddy to be able to feel you too, he will love it,”

And he must admit, he likes this feeling, it’s more  _ real _ , he can actually tell that there’s a human being there. When he saw that Brian was coming he discussed with himself if he should tell him, wouldn’t he be too excited and then a little disappointed that he can’t feel it yet?

“Hi love,” he sits on the passenger seat and gives Roger a kiss. “Ready to get Anna?”

He asks him that everyday and everyday he answers. “I’ve been ready the entire day,”

“So how was your day?” 

“I just felt the baby move!” He said without thinking, he really can’t keep anything from Brian anymore.

“Really? So that’s why you are so happy?” Oh right, he forgot that they can  _ actually _ feel what the other is feeling. And now he can feel that Brian is really getting excited.

“Yeah, it’s still very soft, but I can definitely tell it’s them,” he opens a smile. Brian puts a hand on the bump, it’s difficult to do it while they are in the car and moving.

“Be nice to your papa,”

  
  


Roger was taking a shower and Brian had just finished the dinner. Luna was playing on the floor in the living room, they had already taken off some of the furniture, they don’t have a tv anymore, as they bought a new one for the new house, neither the coffee table, so she could stay there without them worrying if she’ll hit her head. She does crawl yet, but she can move in her own way, and they are parents, they worry about everything.

He had to put her on the couch to pick up a toy she wanted and cried to get it with her, but he did it so quickly that he hadn’t put her with her back on the pillows. It’s not that bad, if she falls she will hit the soft pillows, but she didn’t. When he was about to pick her up again, without even realizing what happened, she giggled. She’s talking a lot, in her own way, she has a loud babble, and it’s a very Roger thing. And she was sitting. Unsupported. 

And she’s laughing.

“Roger!” He calls him, he  _ needs _ to see it. Ok, she will sit like this for her entire life from now on, but it’s the  _ first time _ . “Ok, I need to get the camera,” he says it more for himself. When he rushes to the kitchen, Anna is following him with her head.

“Look at you, baby!” He’s so happy too, she’s growing up fast and everyday is a new discovery, he’s so proud of her.

“Next time I’ll need you to-” Roger is coming off the bathroom, still with the robe and drying his hair. He stopped talking when he saw the scene in front of him, Brian was taking a picture of Anna, who was… wait, is she sitting by her own?

“Look at her, Rog, she’s already getting independent!”

And he laughs. That night they were all sharing smiles and they would never imagined that having a baby would be like this, so perfect.


	61. Chapter LXI

They had just put Anna to sleep, she’s been a little sick for the past couple of days and Roger thinks that maybe she’s starting teething, but it may also be a flu. He will call the pediatrician if it doesn’t get better in the next few days, but thankfully to the teething he already knows what to do.

He and Brian are cuddling in bed, and he’s hoping if maybe it will turn into something more because he’s really getting horny as the time passes and he can feel Brian pressed against his back, it’s making him imagining things and he tries to pass it through the bond, so he can take the hint and start things. Lately they’ve been having less time to have sex, mostly because they really don’t have time and when they are in bed they are too tired to do anything or they are discussing the details for the wedding. He’s really happy that he’ll be able to taste the cakes without throwing up.

And it worked, Brian turns him around and raises an eyebrow. Roger smirks and says “let me do the work while I can”, and winks.

He makes Brian lay in the bed and straddles him, sitting on his hips. He moves a little up to get better access to kiss him. He captures Brian’s lips and tugs a little his hair, it’s a kink he discovered the first time they had sex and uses since then. Not that they need much to get aroused near each other. When they need to break the kiss to breathe, he takes off Brian’s shirt and moves down to the pants, it’s really useless to wear pants to sleep, it only makes his job harder. And talking about hard, he smirks at the sight of Brian’s hard cock, but still doesn’t go there to take off the underwear. He returns his attention to his lips, and retakes the kiss. Brian holds his hips to keep him in place while they deepen the kiss, but suddenly Roger feels that fuck pain. 

“Oh,” he winces and stops everything he’s doing, but, of course, he stays straddling his fiance.

“What? Are you ok? Rog?” Brian asks, of course he was going to get worried. He takes off his hands from Roger’s hips, but he complains too.

“What is happening? Did I hurt you?”

“No, it’s… oh, fuck…” he tries to move, but it’s getting really difficult. “Just, hold me,” he says, the pain is almost unbearable but Brian’s hands on him make it a little easier.

“Here, do you want me to help you lay down?” Brian offers, still with no idea of what is happening, though he can feel that Roger is calm, so it can’t be that bad.

“Yeah… I think a hot bath would be better,” he tries to smile, but the pain is still hitting him.

“Ok,” Brian kisses him and helps him lay down. Roger is a little disappointed that he put his pants on again, and it actually helped forget about the pain. He moans in pain when Brian leaves the room, it’s not that is hurting more than before, but he only wants Brian presence.

He decides to go to the bathroom too. It’s a little difficult to move, and the baby is very active, of course, if they weren’t he wasn’t feeling this fucking pain on his hips and thighs. He walks holding himself on the walls, and then remembers that he could’ve asked Brian to help him. It was too late because he was already standing at the bathroom’s door.

“How are you feeling?” Brian asks him as he helps him remove his clothes. It’s not the way he imagined it was going to happen today, but the baby always has different plans. “Hot water, the way you like,”

Roger stops before stepping in the bathtub. He already did it before, laid alone in there in order to stop the ligament pains and eventually falling asleep until he woke up to a cold water. Right now, this time, he wanted to do it differently.

“Come in with me?” And he didn’t need to ask twice, of course Brian would go in with him, it’s their thing and the best moment to feel very close to each other, even more than when they’re cuddling in bed.

Brian steps in first, then he helps Roger get comfortable on top of him. It really helps and he’s not sure if it’s the hot water of Brian’s hands drawing circles between his hips and the bump.

He’s almost sleeping when he remembers that he didn’t tell Brian what is happening. “It’s the ligaments…” he can form a proper sentence without having to stop because of the pain now. “They are moving because of the baby and it hurts like hell. It happened with Anna too, it’s normal,” he looks up to meet hazel eyes looking lovely at him, and he wants to live in that look forever.

“I thought it wouldn’t happen the second time, but apparently everything happens to me… it’s worse, it think...” but he smiles, “but this time I got you with me,”

“So it’s really normal? And you’ll feel it again?” He asks, and Roger nods.

“Yeah, probably until the third trimester…”

“I’m sorry”

“It’s ok, in the end we’ll have another baby, it’s worth it,” he tries to give Brian a kiss, but his neck is already hurting too, so he returns to his position and relaxes his head on Brian’s chest.

They remain in silence for some time more, just enjoying each other, until another thing comes to Roger’s mind. They discuss everything and lately they’ve been thinking about the wedding details and everything they need for the new house that they forgot a very important subject.

“Do you want to know the gender?”

Brian thinks for a while. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know…” He didn’t want to know the first baby gender because it was not a thing he wanted to do alone, and not even the name he thought beforehand, but now everything is different and they can really decide those things together. “Maybe if we know we can plan everything, but it is also good to discover as they are born…”

“We don’t need to decide it now, maybe if we are very curious in the next few weeks we can ask doctor Jones, but for now keep it as a surprise?” Brian suggests.

It’s actually a good idea and he likes it, it’s different and it’s not like it is forbidden to ask the doctor for the gender later. “Yeah, we can do it… but it's half of the pregnancy already… time flies,” he sighs happily. He can’t wait to have everything ready, move house, get married and have baby 2 in his arms, and for Anna to walk, he’s really looking forward to it.


	62. Chapter LXII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anna is seven months old and Freddie is a good uncle

Anna is now officially seven months old. She’s still sleeping 11 hours at night, straight, she doesn’t wake up, and she takes two naps during the day. She still drinks her formula before going to sleep and eats everything they give to her, she loves to discover new tastes. She can roll around, from her back to her tummy, and it’s very fun, though they need to be careful or she’ll fall from the bed or knock at something, because this baby can go very far even if she’s not crawling yet. She’s growing healthily and she loves cheese. Thankfully she didn’t develop any food allergy. She doesn’t make them feel tired and her parents really enjoy watching her growing and discovering new things.

But now she’s definitely teething.

And it breaks their heart seeing her suffer. She’s very irritated and is crying a lot, she refuses to go to other people and it was very difficult to leave her with Ruth. And they tried everything: chilled fruit, cold washcloth, teething toy, and Roger even called the pediatrician to see if he could give her some medication.

All the tips he knew helped, at least for sometime, but it was not every time she was hungry to eat fruits, even if she loves strawberries. It’s also difficult for her to eat while feeling the pain. The cold washcloth always helps and she likes to play with it, but it lasts for a few hours, and then she’s there crying again. The teething toy is not always that she likes, she’s very fond of her first toys and it’s difficult for her to get used to a new one. 

Brian once sat with her, opened her mouth - that she, surprisingly - opened without protesting, and massaged the little gums with his finger. She liked it and her dad’s helping to soothe the sore gums was very welcomed. This time it was Roger who had to take a picture. Anna was very calm, holding Brian’s hand while he’s trying to help her with the pain.

And, of course, they cuddle her a lot. These past days they put her to sleep with them, this way she can feel protected all the time and they use the medicine the doctor recommended only at night, so they slept together.

It was a difficult milestone, but every baby needs to go through it. Of course they would rather if Anna’s teeths grew without making her cry, but the things they can do they are already doing.

By the weekend, Freddie and Jim passed by to visit them. And then they realized something. And both of them felt idiots for not realizing it sooner. Or maybe it’s just Freddie’s way.

The first thing Freddie did when they arrived was to pick her up. Roger already knows how he is so he opens the door with her in his arms so Freddie can disappear with her.

“So, you are moving out soon, aren’t you?” Jim asks them, the three of them are sitting on the couch, drinking tea, while Freddie is probably in the nursery with Ana.

“Yeah, next week,” Brian says.

“And I hope you and Freddie didn’t have a lot of work with the painting,” Roger says in a apologetic tone, they - Brian - were going to paint it, but Freddie insisted, he said that he painted Anna’s nursery, so he’ll do it again, and will pain the baby 2 nursery too. He and Jim ended up painting the whole house and Roger feels bad for it.

“Not at all, we actually enjoyed it,”

“Hmm, so I think I don’t want to know what you did in our new house,” Roger comments and they laugh. Brian only smiles because yeah, Freddie chose the right guy, he really likes Jim.

“Freddie was talking about adoption, he said he’s ready to be a father too,” Jim says, suddenly very shy. 

“And are you?” Brian asks.

“I never thought about it before, you know, I always knew I was gay, so having kids was not a thing I thought would be possible,” Jim shares with them. “But then I met Freddie and now… I would do anything to make him happy,”

“He loves kids,” Roger comments.

“It’s not like both of us can adopt, but he said he knows what to do, and… I trust him,”

“That’s great, Jim, you know we are here for you,” Roger reaches out to hold his hand.

“Yeah, you can always count on us,” Brian affirms.

And then they hear something coming from the nursery. What is happening?

The three of them get up and go there to see what the hell Freddie and Anna are doing. The door is open, so they can look inside without actually going in the room. And Roger can’t believe his eyes.

Anna is laughing. And is that she trying to clap her hand?

“Get the camera,” he whispers to Brian, who just nods and goes back to the kitchen to grab it and register the moment.

Because Freddie is singing to her, they are both sitting on the floor, on the carpet, of course, he’s singing and clapping his hands, Anna is trying to do the same. She’s really enjoying the song.

Roger puts a hand on his mouth to not say anything and disturb the moment. He feels Brian’s arms around him and leans against the touch, they are both watching the scene, Jim beside them as well.

And of course he cries because damn hormones, but he’s really touched by this. Freddie always helped him, since the beginning, he’s always been a good alpha friend, he gave him an opportunity in his life he wouldn’t get anywhere else and in the process they became best friends, then he introduced Brian to him and it was the best thing that happened to him, because now he has a family. And of course Anna likes him too, who wouldn’t like uncle Freddie? Oh, and he never complained that he has to take another maternity leave in less than a year, maybe it is because of it, he loves his kids.

“Oh, you are here,” Freddie says, looking up. Roger goes and sits down with them, hugging him. Anna is curiously looking at them, making her loud noises, wanting attention. “She really likes songs, Rog, I think you need to sing more often,”

“You have a better voice,” he says, his voice muffled because his face is pressed against Freddie's shoulder. Brian, of course, doesn’t miss the opportunity to take a picture.

“Oh yes, she does love my voice,” Roger laughs. “She even asked for more,”

“Didn’t she complain about her teeth?” The blond is even more surprised about it, she hadn’t laughed in days, and now she’s enjoying some music, laughing and clapping.

“How am I supposed to know? She doesn’t speak! I started singing, and then she reacted,” he explains. Yeah, of course, only parents know those things.

“But she’s better now, and that’s everything that matters,” Roger smiles.

“So, why don’t we make dad pick his acoustic guitar so we can play proper songs?” Freddie says to Anna, and she tries to look around to find her dad when she hears his name - that’s another thing Roger thinks, when he was little he thought his mum’s name was just ‘mum’ and it took him awhile to find out she  _ actually  _ has a name, he doesn’t want it to happen with his daughter too, so he tries to make her recognize their names too, not only dad and papa.

Roger sits on the floor too, putting Anna on his lap. Brian returns with the guitar and Jim takes charge of the camera. They end up the day singing and laughing, until Anna gets too sleepy. And how magical a baby is, the discoveries are not only by her part. But really, they like music too, why it had to be Freddie to discover it? Somethings are better with uncles, maybe.


	63. Chapter LXIII

Roger thought he would feel a little bad by moving house. They lived many moments of their life in this flat, so many memories this place brought to them, it was the place he prepared everything for Anna’s arrival, the place they consumed their relationship, the place Brian asked him in marriage. 

But no.

He’s actually happy.

He loves the new place, it’s big, it has more light, it has a garden and, the most important thing, they have privacy. Living in an edifice is difficult, he lost the count of how many times the neighbors complained about them having sex, like, isn’t it a normal thing to do? Don’t they have a partner? And he’s not even  _ that _ loud, although Brian would disagree. About the noise, Anna doesn’t cry that often, but he has no idea how baby 2 will be, and god knows what the neighbors will do if they hear the baby crying.

So the day they definitely moved in was a happy day. It was already november, not yet winter but enough to leave Roger bothered about it, he didn’t complain that much because, again, he has an excuse to wear layers and layers of clothes to hide the bump from prying eyes, he really hates people on the street staring at him. At first he hated it because he was an unmated pregnant omega, now he hates it because he has a baby in his arms too. 

Home was the only place he felt free, so he took off the coat when they arrived, and Brian quickly turned on the heater. “This is heaven,” he comments, the house quickly warmed up and he felt like he could properly live there during the winter. He’s not sorry for thinking that he’ll never take a step outside when there’s cold.

Everything is there. The big living room with two couches, two armchairs, the coffee table and the TV. Plenty of space for Anna to play and learn how to crawl and walk. The kitchen he wasn’t very interested in, but it looked good, a big table, everything baby proofed - as the whole house - so they won’t suffer any accidents. The nurseries were ready, everything from Anna’s in the previous house was there, so she wouldn’t miss anything, and baby 2 nursery hadn’t the furniture nor the clothes and toys, but it was painted, thanks to Freddie’s work.

They had two spare rooms, which they found useful, either to receive their friends there or for when they have other children in the future. Maybe. Probably. They definitely will.

And then their own bedroom. Wonderful, the only thing missing is for them to sort out the clothes in the closet, but that they can do tomorrow. They have an even bigger bed than they had before, useful also because soon they’ll have two kids and Brian said he won’t deny them if they ask to sleep with them. So, having a big bed is essential.

“I have to properly thank Freddie for doing the painting here, it really is amazing,” Roger comments when they sit down on the couch, putting Anna on the floor to play. It was already getting late, it was a Saturday night and she slept during a good part of the afternoon, so they decided to let her play a little more to see if she gets sleepy again.

“Well, we can think about something… what about inviting him and John to come here tomorrow? We can make them a snack, ask John to bring Robert and too, ask Freddie to stay with the kids, it will be fun for him and we can all talk about how good it is to spend a day without our kids…” Brian suggests, but in the end he was already playfull. Both of them know neither them or John and Ronnie get tired and desperately need the time without the kids. They like to be alone, of course, have their day as a couple or just go out with their friends. And leaving Freddie with the kids they get worried. With Freddie.

“I can’t wait,” he laughs. “But seriously, that’s a good idea, we can have a family day before Michael is born, get them to properly know the house, after I think Deaky will want to have our meetings in his place,” he remembers the times before Robert was born.

“Were you like this too?” Brian asks. It’s normal for them not to want to leave their place before the baby is born, the nesting instinct kicking in, but he has no idea how Roger reacted, well, he saw the mess in their bedroom, but he could only guess.

“I think so, I don’t remember very well to be honest. It was kind of different for me, I mean, Deaky had Ronnie with him the whole time and I had only your clothes…”

“I’m sorry,” Brian says after Roger stopped for a while. The blond smiles, changing his position a little, he’s sitting almost in Brian’s lap, using his shoulder as a pillow.

“It was not your fault, love, but we survived didn’t we? And I talked to you everyday… I think we should wait and see how it will be this time,”

“Yeah, you are right,” they shared a kiss and turned their attention to the TV, a movie was playing, but they really weren’t paying attention, they were just watching Luna playing with her toys, too many for only one baby, but somehow she knew what she was doing.

“Did you have many food cravings with Anna?” Brian asks after a while. It’s not always that he asks about the time he was out, and he also shares very little of what happened to him. Maybe it’s just because they had another world when he came back, trying to learn how to raise a child and then have another on the way do not leave too much time to think about the past.

“To collaborate with the injustice that is ‘I carried the baby for nine months and she came out just like her father’, I only wanted to eat fruits and all of those healthy things you like,” he pouts, but in reality he’s happy that Anna is a mini Brian.

“Own, poor thing,” he leans down a little to kiss him, “but you didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night asking for some weird food combination,”

“Yet, Brian Harold May, yet!” He teases. He thinks it’s weird too, but not every person is the same, so he guesses his partner just got lucky with it.

“So, did you decide if we’re going to find out the gender in the next appointment?” Brian asks. Now Roger is sitting on the opposite side, with his feet on Brian’s lap for him to massage it.

“Hmm, I think so, what do you think?” He looks down at Anna. “This way we can already make the nursery the way we want, with the name and everything,”

Brian looks at Anna too. “Yeah, I guess you are right. Freddie painted it gender neutral, and we can have everything like this too, knowing if they are a boy or a girl won’t change it,”

“That’s a good idea,” Roger smiles. It’s so good to make decisions together, they feel closer like this. He never thought they could work as one, they always have different things in mind, but now they are getting older, with more responsibilities and human beings that depend on them.

At first, when Brian proposed before leaving for a year, he thought that he would take care of everything about their wedding and Brian would only get back and go to the altar to get married, but he guesses everything happens for a reason because now even the marriage they are organizing together. 

Shit, he remembers he needs to try on his suit and it will be bad because in eight weeks he will not exactly fit in his clothes anymore. He’s not even fitting right now, he’s just lucky he still has the clothes he bought from when he was pregnant with Anna.

But this is a thing he will live for future Roger to worry about. Present Roger needs to put Anna in her crib to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: gender reveal and a surprise!


	64. Chapter LXIV

Roger was so bad with math. He has no idea how he was able to pass the classes he had to use them, genetics were shit and he wasn’t to send to hell every calculation he had to do. So he has a little difficulty to count the weeks and months of the pregnancy alongside Anna’s months, he long gave up the idea of counting the months after Anna turns one year old, he definitely will just say to other people ‘oh, she has one year and two months’, because really, is he supposed to say 14 months? Fuck off.

Thankfully to him he has an astrophysicist fiance who knows math and teaches it for a living, so he can do everything for him.

“It’s the sixth month, Rog. Actually the beginning of it, it will be until the 27th week,” Brian explains to him.

“It doesn’t make sense, Bri,” he argues.

“How did you do it when I wasn’t here?” Brian asks, referring to when he was pregnant with Anna.

“I didn’t, I only followed the weeks, it’s more simple and I studied like this!” They are waiting for the appointment with Doctor Jones, saying those things as if they were at home alone.

This time they left Anna with Ruth, even if Brian knows the place is good for kids, he has a feeling she’s not supposed to go in that area of the clinic. And they can also enjoy a day free just the two of them, those are rare moments - just the two of them and a day free.

Roger is commenting about the other people in the waiting room, whispering, of course, when Dr Jones called them. Brian is already used to it by now, he knows the way to her room and knows what to do once they are in there. He helps Roger take off his shoes and lay on the table - “how did you do all of this without me?” he asked him once, but Roger only shrugged.

“So are you ready to know if it’s a boy or a girl?” Dr Jones asks while turning in the machine, the noise it makes, that Brian is not used yet, Roger seems unbothered by the things happening around them.

“Yeah, we decided against the surprise, we want to be prepared,” Roger said, smiling. Brian was already nervous, it seems like going inside that room and helping Roger give birth all over again, he feels like he will die right there from the emotions. This time he holds Roger’s hands, but it’s his fiance who gives him the comfort.

“You know I love when the couples decide to know the gender before, of course it is a choice, but it has its own magic,” the image is already on the screen, Brian loves to look at the ultrasound, thank to medicine for letting them know how that tiny thing is doing even before they are born.

“So?” Roger asks, Brian looking between him and the ultrasound and Dr Jones. 

“Congratulations, Roger, Brian,” she nods at them, “you are going to have another girl,”

Wow, they didn’t have any preferences, they just wanted the baby to be healthy, but Brian can’t help but smile at the thought of having another girl, when he was little he always wanted a sister, so nothing better than give his own daughter one. Roger grew up with his own sister and knows how the girls are, and he knows that these two will be worse than he and Clare were, worse in a good sense, of course.

“I will print some pictures for you,” Dr Jones announces as she clears Roger to clean the gel and go back to her table to do the last talking.

“Are you happy?” He asks Brian, just in case, he knows he will be happy either way.

“You can’t believe how much, thank you for giving us another girl,” he leans in for a quick kiss, they can do much being there.

“You know it’s actually you, right?” Roger teases. They go back to talk to Dr Jones, she gives them some vitamins for Roger to take and some routine exams.

When they are already in the car, Brian enjoys the moment to properly kiss his fiance, he’s so happy, they already have the perfect family. “So, what’s the plan for today? We can pick Anna up only at 5, we have plenty of time,” Roger comments after he already pulled off of the parking lot.

“What do you feel like doing?” Brian asks back, he wants Roger to do what he wants.

“I don’t know, just go home and enjoy this time together? Maybe take a bath without worrying and looking at the baby monitor the whole time?”

“That sounds pretty lovely,”

They are just talking when Roger feels it. And he missed that sensation so much, he bits back a smile, he needs to make this moment special for Brian, and while he’s driving and almost getting home is not a very good moment. ‘Hey, put your hand here while I shift the gearbox’, no, he can’t do it like this.

So when they get home, he prepares everything for the bath. The water is warm, the salts are all new, thanks to Freddie, and smell so good. Brian got the cheese and grape juice, he’s not drinking alcohol either, and Roger thinks it’s so cute, he never saw an alpha doing it when their partner is pregnant, they never think about those things, actually, but Brian does.

It’s still daylight, so they can’t have the atmosphere with candles and everything, they are parents, they can’t have those luxuries anymore. But it’s perfect nonetheless. 

But before they can get in the bathtub the baby decides to spoil Roger’s plan, so he needs to think about a Plan B fast. He hasn't taken off his clothes yet, so he rushes to the kitchen, where Brian still is, and surprises him with a kiss.

“Wow, what is that?” The brunet asks, not bothered at all with the sudden affection.

“We have a surprise for you,” Roger smiles.

“A surprise? We?” Brian is confused. And is even more when Roger takes his hand and places it on the bump.

“I wanted to show you this in the bath, but baby girl 2 here had other ideas,” he smiles waiting for Brian’s reaction. “Say hi to dad,”

And there it is, the kick. It’s still soft for the outside, but definitely harder than what he was feeling before. But before he thought he liked the sensation, but now, watching his partner’s face lit up in a big big smile with tears of joy, this is much better. He wants to curse himself for depriving himself from having it the first time, but he decides to just enjoy the moment.

They stay like this, standing in the kitchen, for a while, a happy baby moving a lot and happy parents enjoying the moment. The bath, later, was even better than the others they had before, and it’s not because of the big bathtub. And Roger can’t wait to have Anna with them too, and that’s why they dry themselves and, instead of doing other things alone, they drive the fast they can to pick her up. To have the family complete.


	65. Chapter LXV

Brian was finally working at home, he only needed to finish some grades and give them to the students and then finally they will be free for the vacations. ‘They’ being not only the students, but also himself. It was his first year as a full time professor and having classes to take care of only by himself is more difficult than he thought, that no PhD teaches you how to do. 

He’s tired because of it, but also because his life is a mess, in a good way. He desperately needs rest, at least from work, he’s been using his mind for more than a year nonstop now, he needs to stop thinking a little, at least for these two months. He knows that from his family he will never take even a holiday, and he would never want it, he loves watching Anna growing, discovering new things, learning about the world around her and herself; he also loves watching baby 2 growing inside of his beautiful fiance, the times Roger needs to go to the bathroom during the night waking him up in the process is nothing compared to the new things  _ he _ is learning. But what tires him the most in his personal life is the wedding, he never thought that having a party and a ceremony would be this difficult. But a little more than one month they will finally be married and all of this planning stuff will end.

As he was home and Anna did not disturb him at all, he decided to not take her to his mum. She was currently playing on the office’s floor, two blankets under her and all the toys around. Brian was - finally! - giving an A when the phone rang.

He sighed, looking at the pile of papers in front of him, but happy to have a break to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” He stretches in the chair, looking down at Anna to see if she’s still in place, of course she is.

“Bri, darling?” He wasn’t expecting Freddie to call, he and Roger are working, and because of it many things went through his mind, none of them were good.

“Freddie? Is Roger ok?” He tries to sound less desperating, but he’s not sure if he managed to. He then focuses on their bond, everything looks peaceful, so…

“Roger is fine, dear, it’s Deaky,”

“What? What happened?” It’s still not good news, he’s far ahead of Roger, but still not in full term yet. 

“Ronnie called, she had to take him to the hospital, baby Michael is going to born today,”

“Oh? Isn’t it too soon? Are they ok? Are you at the stall?”

“It is soon, I don’t have more information, and no, I’m not working today, Roger is alone at the stall, I called you first,” Freddie says, so he’s probably at the hospital, Brian knows how overprotective he is over John, and not knowing much more must be killing him. He’s worried too, about their friend, the baby, and Roger too.

“Ok, don’t call Rog, ok? He doesn’t have to know for now,” he says, firmly.

“But Bri, he’s…” 

“This is my decision, Fred, ok? And that’s exactly why, they are too close, and Rog is pregnant too, we don’t need to put him and the baby under stress,” because he is stressed and he’s already feeling it, it’s not good. He tries to calm down, but Anna starts to cry. “I need to see what Anna needs, I’ll go to the hospital, ok? And then we talk. Leave Roger at the stall the maximum you can,”

“Ok, Bri, go take care of your little one,”

They hang up and Brian runs to see what Anna needs, it turns out she only got his stress. She clings on him and doesn’t let him put her down anymore. “Ok, what do I do with you? Take you to the hospital with me?”

He quickly got her bag and called a taxi, she was very quiet during the ride, but she’ll need to eat soon and he has no idea how he will do it in a hospital. It would be easier if she let him take her to her grandma, it would be easier, but he doesn’t have the mental stability to leave his daughter crying for him, he will do it the harder way, thank you very much.

The taxi driver looks oddly at him, yeah, it’s not normal an alpha taking care and going out alone with a baby, but does he care? Of course not. He pays him and everything is fine.

In the hospital he quickly finds Freddie, he’s pacing around, not caring that other people are staring at him.

“How is he?” Is the first thing Brian asks him.

“I don’t know, no one gives any news… and I asked Roger to count the stock, he wasn’t happy, but he’ll be there at least until eight,” Freddie explains, talking fast.

“Thank you, I don’t want him to worry, and by then we should have news already,”

“I hope so,”

Brian finally made him sit down and rest a little, it was even more difficult to make Freddie obey him than Anna. The baby was calm, like she understands this is a difficult situation. Eventually she fell asleep, and after a while Ronnie showed up in the waiting room, making Freddie jump.

“How are they?” He asks, breathless. Brian stood up too.

“They are fine, he is so little, Fred…” she says, with so much emotion in her voice. Brian knows what she’s feeling, and smiles. “He still needs help to breath, but he’s a healthy baby boy,”

“That’s so good to hear, congratulations Ronnie,” Brian says, pointing with his head to Anna as to say he’s sorry for not being able to hug her. In seconds Freddie is doing it.

“Thank you guys, I wish you could meet him, but they only allow us in the ICU. And John is sleeping, so you can go home, you can come back tomorrow,”

It was already dark outside, not that it’s that difficult in december, but it’s indeed late and Brian still didn’t talk to Roger. Thankfully he didn’t have to take a taxi back home because Jim was waiting for them.

Brian thanked them and was relieved that hadn’t arrived yet, so he has time to think how he will tell him the news. He gets in, changes Anna’s clothes, diaper, changes his own clothes and goes to the kitchen to make them dinner. It’s almost 9PM when he hears the door opening. He feels bad for asking Freddie to make him work more than necessary, he knows he gets tired, so he plans on giving him a nice time to relax before they go to bed.

“Never thought I would come home after working till late to find my soon to be husband making dinner to me,” Roger says coming in the kitchen and hugging Brian from behind.

They eat and Roger tells him everything about his day, from the old lady wanting a dress they don’t have to the group of four friends who bought almost everything. Brian was glad he didn’t tell him before, well, he was about to not be that glad anymore.

“Oh, and how were the exams? I feel sorry for all my professors now that I know what you go through,” and if it wasn’t a delicate situation, Brian would’ve laughed at Roger’s words, he was indeed a bad student, but it doesn’t make a difference in the end if you are smart, and Roger is.

“Almost finished, actually, and they are doing good, though not exceptional, but it’s enough… but…” he struggles with the words. “I had to go to the hospital because…”

“Wait, what?” And there they go, Roger didn’t even let him finish, he should have known better, really.

“John was in the hospital, he still is… Roger, let me finish please,” because he was already ready to protest again. “He and the baby are fine, Michael was born, but they are all fine now,”

“I can’t believe, Brian, so I’m really the last person to know? About my own best friend?”

“We had no idea how they were, I didn’t want to worry you, you are pregnant, Rog, you can go under stress,”

“I know how to take care of myself, I did it alone the first time, you don’t have to tell me what I can or cannot know or feel or whatever, you can’t fucking tell me I have the rights to make my own decision and then keep it away from me!” He got up and it was too much for not making Roger nervous, but Brian really thought he would get it, he would understand why he did it, but apparently he didn’t.

“I was worried about you, I only want to protect you and our baby...” he says, hoping that if he keeps his toone calm it will calm Roger down too and they will be able to talk. But it didn’t, of course it didn’t.

“Well, you don’t have to, me and Anna are fine, aren’t we? So we don’t need you to worry,”

Brian gets up too, this time without saying a word. He picks Anna up, takes her to the nursery and puts her on the crib, she was almost falling asleep and closed her eyes as she laid down. He then goes to their room, grabs the baby monitor and goes to the bathroom. When he leaves Roger is standing in the middle of the room and asks: “what are you doing?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to sleep in the same bed tonight,” and he goes to the guest room.

  
  


At first Roger was angry that Brian didn’t tell him about John before, he wanted to be there for him as he was the first time, and as John was for him when he needed. And even more because now he knew why Freddie asked him to do what he hates the most. He only wanted to go home and cuddle with his family.

And then of course he had to say things to hurt Brian because he is like this. He’s angry and he says things to Brian that he didn’t mean, things he knows Brian struggles with, especially with Anna, the new baby and being a good father. He was away the first time, but it was not his choice, he didn’t know. 

And Roger wants to cry for being alone in their bed, he promised himself that after those months he would never let Brian go, and now he did, he broke his own promise without even thinking. He is happy that John and baby Michael are fine, it was still early, 33 weeks, but they are both fighters and he’s sure soon the baby will be out of the hospital and ready to meet his brother and cousin.

But now the only thing he wanted was Brian with him, with his arms around him, kissing his head and telling stories to the bump.

“Yeah, I know how you are feeling, I want dad here too,” he says, caressing the place where the baby just kicked. He tries to fall asleep, he even manages to close his eyes and let his mind rest, but only for a short time, he can’t sleep alone anymore. And he can’t even toss and turn because he can’t move that much.

So he gets up. He opens the nursery door to have a look at Anna, she’s sleeping peacefully. He then looks to the door of the room Brian is sleeping in. Is he sleeping? Or is he awake as he is and thinking about how stupid his mate is? 

Roger decides to open the door, he can’t stay like this anymore, he needs Brian with him, he needs to apologise and say he has all the rights to worry about him, the baby and everything he wants. He wants to say he loves him. But he’s not there.

“Fuck,” he didn’t hear the door opening, so he didn’t left. Everything is silent and dark downstairs, so he’s probably not there too. The only thing that rests is the office, and the other nursery. He decided to go to the office first, and again, nothing.

So he found Brian sitting on the nursery floor, with the photo album, looking at them.

“Bri? Come to bed, please?” He doesn’t look up, and Roger knows he fucked up badly this time. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said, I’m just… Please? Baby is asking for you too,”

“Rog…”

“I’m sorry I said those things, we do need you, we need you to worry… I need you,”

“I’m sorry for keeping this from you,”

“It’s ok, now, please? I can’t sleep without you,”

And Brian went, of course. But still knowing that the two of them have a lot to talk about.

“I love you, Bri,” he says, just to make sure he will get an answer.

“I love you too, Rog,” he didn’t doubt it, not even for a second, their bond is still strong and didn’t fall for a second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter longer than usual because I didn't want to left them fighting, hope you enjoyed it xx


	66. Chapter LXVI

Roger knew that if they got him there he would be fucked. Well, Brian knew he was there, but it wasn’t time for visitation yet and it’s not a good thing to be in a hospital room when you can’t. But he wasn’t there hiding either, Ronnie knew he was there and helped him in. 

He was sitting on the uncomfortable chair, his back already complains about everything and now it’s even worse. He won’t complain though, because he’s there for a good reason. John is still sleeping and he’s not looking like he’s in pain, maybe he’s not. Roger has no idea what he’s feeling and how this feeling is. He doesn’t know how it would be if he couldn’t hold his baby in their first hours, days, because they are too fragile and need help. He puts both hands on the bump, the thought of not having with this baby the same as he had with Anna. And now he thinks about what Brian did, he was also scared, about their friend, about his baby, about him, about their own baby. It’s so delicate and he was so insensible, thinking only about himself. He remembers about that story Ruth told him, about Brian’s sister and all the problems she had to get pregnant, Brian doesn’t remember, but he doesn’t deserve to go through all of this again with his own child and even unconsciously he was trying to prevent it.

He was a chaos inside his own mind, not that he wasn’t before, but now he was starting to get desperate when John woke up. He tried to get up fast to help him, but fuck, it is really impossible. At least his friend laughed.

“You know… you know I can’t laugh,” he says, trying to hold it. Roger smiles, it’s so good to see his friend feeling better, he feels better too.

“I don’t know if I should ask how you are feeling…” he says after helping John drink some water.

“Today I’m better, yesterday, well, it was not that comfortable,” he laughs nervously and Roger smiles sadly. “But you don’t look good, what happened?” He asks out of nowhere and Roger can’t believe in what he’s hearing.

“Really Deaky? You are recovering in a hospital and  _ you _ ask  _ me  _ what happened for me to be like this? I worry about you!”

“It’s not only about me that you are worried, Rog,”

“Well, you are right, I’m worried about Michael too, I want to meet him, to see him strong,”

“I want to hold him too, Rog, but he’s good, the doctors are taking care of him, and soon he will be with us,” he says proudly.

“Yeah, Ronnie told me she was going to stay with him a little…”

“But it’s not what is worrying you, at least not right now because you are seeing with your own eyes that we are good,” Deaky insists, and Roger knows there’s no way to escape, John knows him better than he knows himself. “Come, sit here with me, I bet it’s more comfortable than the chair,”

He makes space on the bed and they stay there close. He wanted not to say out loud what happened yesterday, but…

“Brian didn’t tell me about you,” he starts. “Not before he knew you both were ok. And I… I was angry because I was the last to know, he said he did it to protect us and I said bad things that I regret to him…”

“Like what?”

“Really? You want me to say it again?”

“Of course, it’s the only thing I have to do right now, I can hear all your problems,” Roger rolls his eyes, but he’s grateful for the friend he has. John has a lot of problems of his own, but he always makes space to help him too. He wished he was as good as he is.

“I said that I didn’t need him to worry about me because I can take care of myself and did it the first time alone and that I have the freedom to decide what is best for me,” he says without stopping to breathe, yes, he is ashamed that he said those things.

“And Brian?”

“He was sad and didn’t want to talk to me, he didn’t go to our room but I couldn’t sleep without him and I apologised and said that I didn’t mean what I said,”

“And you didn’t?”

“Of course not!”

“Rog, you know that if you said those things it’s because deep down you think they are true,” he was about to open his mouth to protest, but John beat him. “No, don’t say that it’s the hormones or whatever, because it’s not,”

“Deaky…”

“I know you for years, Rog, and I couldn’t imagine you like this, pregnant, with a baby, bonded, about to get married, because it didn't feel like you when we were younger, you know, I already had Ronnie and you were free, doing whatever you wanted with no one to tell you otherwise,” Roger smiles with the memory and it only proves John’s point, fuck.

He continues. “But then soon you met Brian and Brian being Brian, he let you keep doing whatever you wanted, he let you keep being you and you know I love him for it, he didn’t take away your essence and it’s the most incredible thing in a relationship. And I could and can tell that you love him, that he is the love of your life, because you didn’t change your mind about settling down and having kids, he is just the right person to do all of this with, am I wrong?”

“No, you are not,” he is almost crying, and John joins their hands under the blanket.

“And you two were like this until you got pregnant, because you didn’t think about your freedom when Brian was away and you needed his parents to help you, did you? You weren’t selfish. But you didn’t realize it. You still think about your relationship like it was before, but neither of you are the same, neither of you have the same freedom as you did before, because you are both parents, and your priority changed. Who’s with Anna right now?”

“Brian…”

“So, you are here with me, but he’s with your daughter, because now you have to do everything thinking about her. And while you have to do it, there’s this baby too…”

“Deaks, you had a c-section less than 24 hours ago and you are talking and talking like you didn’t have a surgery,” he points out, he’s impressed by the speech too.

“Don’t change the subject Roger. What I’m saying is, you think you are the only one who doesn’t have your power of choice anymore because you are an omega, but it’s not like this, he doesn’t have to. Everything Brian does is thinking about Anna, you and this baby,”

Roger doesn’t say anything, he’s trying to absorb everything his friend just said to him.

“Talk to him, ok? You deserve to be carried for too, and you also can help take care of him, you know. Me and Ronnie are like this,” he smiles. 

“Thank you, Deaks, I don’t know what I would do without you,”

“You can help me by taking my two kids for one night to let me sleep,” he teases.

“Oh no, we should left they four with Freddie, he would go mad,” 

“You are right,”

And Roger watches his friend. Later that day, when he and Brian sit down to talk, he remembers the moments and the words of apology and forgiveness are easier now. They can finally move on.


	67. Chapter LXVII

If there’s one thing Roger thinks is annoying is when babies grab things and throw them on the floor, waiting for the adult responsible for them to pick it up, give them back so they can start it all over again. It can go on for hours.

And of course now it was time for his own daughter to do it. She was sitting on her high chair, Roger was trying to feed her. They are trying for her to eat by herself, so she had some cubes of cheese and cauliflower florets in front of her. But of course she wasn’t paying attention to them.

“Are you even hungry?” Roger asked her, she’s been paying more attention to a teddy bear (not her favourite, but she wanted it today). And said teddy bear was the one who was on the floor out of nowhere.

He sighed and looked at Brian, he was with his back for them, cooking their Christmas Eve dinner. So it was not like they weren’t sharing the tasks. Anna was looking at him expectantly, they did everything she wanted, so why not pick her toy and give it back to her? She was testing him. And yes, his first thought was to bend down, and that’s why he looked at Brian. Because he fucking can’t.

He tried either way, but even moving his back a little downward is very difficult and it hurts like hell. She was still looking at him, and it looked like she was about to cry. Really? Now? When he’s with her? Why not with Brian?

She starts making the noises she always does to catch their attention, and she whines. Well, this she got from him, definitely. He decides to explain to her why she can’t throw things and expect him to pick up for her, she will understand, right? They say you can talk to a baby like you talk to an adult, so he tries.

“Anna, my love, papa can’t go down to pick your teddy bear because of the bump, you see? Your sister is a big baby and papa can’t move a love, ok? Why don’t we ask dada?” He proposes. She says only one coherent word and it is ‘dada’.

But it doesn’t work, because after that she starts crying.

He tries to control his own emotions too. “Bri, help here please,” he asks, trying to not break down. Because it’s really his fault? It’s definitely not Anna’s. She’s just a baby trying to understand the world and he should be able to help her. But no, he’s pregnant again and there are many things he can’t physically do. Carrying her is also very difficult, but he won’t enter this problem right now.

“What’s going on?” Brian asks, cleaning his hand.

“Help your daughter, I can’t… Did you finish dinner already? I can finish it for you,” and he moves to the oven. They have a big kitchen right now and the table is not glued to the stove and the sink like it was before. He feels the baby kicking, also wanting attention. It’s another thing Brian does, he plays with the baby all the time, where he puts his hands on the baby kicks. It's not that comfortable for him, but he’s always happy to see those he loves having fun.

He can hear Anna laughing now. She’s much better with Brian. He turns off the oven and goes to the second nursery, as they call it. It has a chair now and the crib is there but not done yet. They still have time, 13 weeks to be precise, but a wedding in between. Roger knows he is a little nervous, the wedding a big moment and today is Anna’s first Christmas. He shouldn’t feel like this.

After a while Brian goes find him. They don’t say anything for a while, and it was Roger the one who broke the silence.

“You are a perfect father, you know,” he looks at Brian. He’s feeling a little better now.

“I’m far from it, Rog, but you are great too,” Roger smiles sadly at him. “Hey, none of it, ok?”

“But she was sad, Bri, she wanted me to play with her but I can’t, fuck, this baby is much bigger than she was. I want to do things for her, but…”

“It’s ok, babe, she doesn’t hate you for it, she was actually asking for you when I got her to eat, she wasn’t going to eat by herself,” and  _ that _ got his attention. What? She  _ asked _ for him?

“How?”

“I gave her the food?” Brian says with doubt.

“No you dumbass, how she asked for me?” He laughs and thinks that maybe Brian said it just to make him feel better. Well, it worked.

“She was saying papa and pointing to where you were,” he said proudly. She’s growing up so fast.

Roger got up and, as fast as he could, giving his state, and went to the other nursery, where Anna was playing with her toys, how easy this baby can get distracted is a blessing, but he knows she’ll sleep soon, it’s already getting late and she missed her nap during the day because uncle Freddie was there.

“Hey baby, I’m sorry about early, but papa is here now,” he picks her up, yes it’s difficult and yes, it is very hard to balance her on his hips when he has a big bump, but he manages. And she says ‘papa’ again. It’s not that clear but this time he cries, but out of happiness, because she also recognises him.

Brian was standing at the door, taking a picture, framing this moment forever. In minutes Anna was already sleeping and she would sleep for the rest of the night, a blessing in their lives.

  
  
  


It was already midnight, he and Brian were watching TV, with Brian giving him an amazing foot massage that he hoped would escalate to other parts of his body too. The baby monitor on the coffee table and the Christmas feeling was perfect.

Tomorrow they will go have dinner with Ruth and Harold and he’s not sure if it will be as peaceful as he and Ruth hope, because Brian is still giving a cold treatment to his father. But they two are going on a one-week trip and they want to see Anna before they leave. Thankfully Brian is already on vacation so he can stay with Anna, as boxing day is always a busy day at the stall for Roger.

“Should we open the gifts now or tomorrow?” Roger asked. They are slowly trying to build their own Christmas traditions, to pass to their children as they grow up.

“Tomorrow? I kind of didn’t buy a gift for you, I’m sorry, I was so caught up with buying things for Anna and the baby and I completely forgot…” Brian said, and Roger thought it was funny because…

“Don’t worry babe, I forgot to buy something for you too, I was asking because we got the gifts from mum and Clare for the babies and I was hoping to know if I would give you the blowjob tonight or tomorrow morning,” he says without blushing, with no shame, because it is what he always did when he doesn’t have a gift.

“And can you give a blowjob?” Brian raises an eyebrow.

“Shut up, or I’ll sit on your face,” he threatens, trying to sound angry, but he wasn’t.

“That’s not a bad idea,” he smirks, and Roger has an idea. He sits up and straddles him, the best he can, of course, and leans to start a kiss. Brian meets him halfway and they melt in the kiss. It’s a passionate kiss, but one different from when you are young, it’s a kiss that shares their passion, their years together, the love they built from that crush to the ‘I really like you’ to the ‘I love you’ to the ‘I want to spend my whole life with you’. 

And they couldn’t be happier.


	68. Chapter LXVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter than usual but very fluffy, hope you enjoy xx

If you asked 19 years old Roger if he thought that in seven years he would have a home, a stable job, a partner - soon to be husband -, a 8 months old baby girl and another coming in 12 weeks, he would have laughed at your face. First because he was poor, he didn’t have a job, he was still trying to find what the fuck he wanted to study, and he barely could pay rent and buy food. Secondly because he didn’t believe in love, his parents were unhappy and he was treated like garbage by his own father. He would never think about settling down because he thought no alpha would treat him well, so he decided to live his life by himself. And have kids? Please, he couldn’t even take care of himself, imagine a kid, and having another human being inside him, kicking, not letting him sleep? No, thank you.

And if you ask him where he will want to spend all his New Year Eve he would say definitely partying. Despite not having money he always had friends when he was younger, so he always had parties to choose to get shit faced. Spending it at home? Not at all, it’s so boring.

But here he is, ten minutes to midnight, laying on the couch with Brian, with their beautiful daughter sleeping in her nursery and a very active baby in his belly. It’s partly because he is with his back pressed against Brian and he is drawing circles on the bump, provoking the baby who gladly responds with kicks. 

“Does it hurt?” Brian asks after  _ minutes  _ of playing with the baby.

“No, not at all, I’m happy,” he smiles and adjusts the blanket on top of them. It’s warm, cozy and he wants to stay like this forever. He’s just grateful that he has this life right now, because he’s sure he would be nothing if he hadn’t found Brian, it was the love he feels for him that made him like the feeling of having a baby, of settling down and everything. Damn, John was so right.

“Thank you, Rog,” Brian says and kisses his head, pressing his lips there tenderly for a few seconds.

“For what?” He asks, now following Brian’s hands on the bump too.

“For this amazing year, I never thought I would be this happy, you gave me everything I ever wanted,”

“Did you realize we say a lot that we are happy?” Roger points out, in the last days they are just enjoying their little perfect life, planning the future and saying how the present couldn’t get better.

“We do… but we are, aren’t we?”

“Of course, it’s the best moment of my life, Bri, and I want to say it outloud every moment I can. And it’s all thanks to you,”

“I think we are doing a perfect job together, aren’t we?” Brian looks at a picture they have in a frame, it’s from the day Anna was born, both of them were tired but looking so happy and proud. Anna was so little and they can’t believe she’s already eight months old.

They stay in silence for a while, all the noise from the New Year’s celebration coming from the television - and they hope Anna won’t wake up or she will be a little cranky tomorrow, that she got from Roger and he loves it. 

“What were you doing this time last year?” Roger asks, curious to know, but at the same time he’s always been careful to ask Brian about his months out.

“I was talking to you, it was actually already 1AM there, actually,” he senses that Roger wants more details. “The other guys were drunk and they kept asking me about you, I proudly said everything about our life, how we met. And I was thinking about how I wished I was with you, we were together in every New Year’s Eve since we met,”

“Anna was kicking a lot, not like this baby, but she was very excited, I can’t wait to see her reaction when she grows up and understands the meaning of these parties…” he remembers.

“Yeah, I think she will be just like you, she already loves having fun,” Brian laughs, Roger has always been full of energy, and Anna is showing to be just like this too.

“Do you remember?” Roger asks when the clock turned midnight.

“Every year we started with a kiss,” Brian smiles. It didn’t matter how drunk Roger was, he always found him and they spent this moment together. In their first year together, Brian wasn’t that keen on going to a party, but he was glad he did because they could start a tradition.

“So let’s do it again,” Roger proposes. They sat up, and although it was not cold inside, Roger missed Brian’s arms around him, but it was quickly replaced with his lips on him. And it feels as good as always.

“Happy New Year, love,”

“With you it is the happiest of the years,”

“Wait here,” Brian says and gets up, Roger gets confused, but he doesn’t complain, he also doesn’t follow him (he usually does it when he is asked to wait) because it is really difficult and he takes an eternity to get up.

But in less than two minutes Brian returns with Anna in his arms. “This little lady was wide awake,”

Roger takes her and sits her in the middle of them. “Thinking about it again, maybe we should already start a new tradition,”


	69. Chapter LXIX

“This is our last anniversary on this date,” Roger points as Brian returns to bed. It’s 5AM and Anna woke up in the middle of the night asking for them. It turns out that she only needed changing diapers and she didn’t cry as she did before, she just started babbling to call them, such a smart little girl.

They were already awake because five minutes before Roger had to get up to go to the bathroom, waking Brian up in the process, who, in turn, is the responsible to see what Anna needs when she wakes up. 

For the last couple of days and for the next week they will be too busy with the preparations for the wedding. They are lucky that Freddie is doing almost everything for them, but still they need to be there, especially to try on the clothes. So they decided not to celebrate their anniversary this year.

“And we’ll never forget about our wedding anniversary because it will be only one week ahead,” Brian sighs as he lays on the bed again. It’s been some stressful days for him and this month he doesn’t have his job to worry about, and Roger has been careful to look for some signs if a depresion episode is coming, they talk a lot about what they are doing and if it is too much and all about their feelings, but sometimes Brian gets so caught up in what is happening, preparing everything for the wedding, the appointments with both Roger’s and Anna’s doctors, taking care of Anna when they are at home, thinking about the arrival of baby 2, it can be overwhelming. And Roger knows that it is not because they are happy that it can’t happen, it has nothing to do with what they have in life, but what is inside Brian, and they will take care of it together, after all that’s why they are getting married.

“But I think that today you need to rest, you deserve it,” Roger decides not because it is a special date, but because they can.

“But…” he interrupts him even before he can start complaining.

“There’s no but, love, I’ll call your mother to take Anna, then I will call that veg place that has breakfast, you didn’t think I would cook, would you?” Thankfully Brian laughs.

“No, I didn’t… it sounds lovely, thank you”

“Now, baby is asking for belly rubs so we can fall asleep again,”

And they shift to their favourite position: Brian spooning Roger.

  
  


After Ruth took Anna they had the house all to themselves, without worrying about leaving her alone in a room or making food or putting her to sleep. It was also nice to have a day off, despite loving doing these things they also need a break.

“Let’s make sure that we’ll have the next baby no less than two years after this one is born, because I can’t wait to be  _ truly _ alone with you,” Roger comments after they ate the breakfast, it was also nice to eat something different, they are still discovering the places in this new neighbourhood and it turns out it is even better than the one where they were living before.

“So do you want to have other babies?” Brian raises his eyebrow, it’s not like Anna or baby 2 were planned, so will they already plan their future children?

“Of course! I want a big family with you…” he stops for a couple of seconds. “What about you?”

“This is everything that I want, Rog, but I would be happy either way, with two, three, four kids, or if we didn’t have any kids I would be just as happy as I am, because I can be with you,” in the end Brian blushes after realizing how cheesy it was, not that Roger cares.

“I’m glad you still love me after seeing me like this,” he says, half joking and half not, waiting to see Brian’s reaction. It was the one he expected, of course.

“Like that what? Like pregnant with our baby? Like giving me a family?” He says angrily and Roger laughs.

“But really, when I was pregnant with Anna I was so insecure, Freddie and John said you would have loved to see me pregnant… I guess they were right?” He teases.

“Of course they were, I love you and I will love you in every step of your life,”

“Even after I’m older, grey hair and everything?”

“Especially like this, you will be a cool grandpa, you know,” Brian gets up from the chair and kisses him. They move to the couch, happy that now they have a big and comfortable one, so they can lay down there without having back pain instead of going to the bed.

They are comfortable there, Brian laid down first and Roger laid too with his back against his chest, the same position they were in bed during the night. After a moment in silence Brian said.

“I thought you would want to have sex the whole day and that’s why you asked mum to pick up Anna,”

“Ha, it’s still morning, you know, we have time,”

“I knew it,” Roger smirks. He thought he would be hornier now that Brian is here available for everything he wants, but it turned out that he is the same as before - and it still classifies him as horny, but not more because of the pregnancy. What really changed is that sometimes he prefers to just cuddle, which is also very welcomed from both tired parts.

“But now I’m comfy like this… well,” the baby starts kicking. “Now someone decided to wake up,”

“I promise I won’t excite them this time,” Brian says and kisses his forehead from behind.

After another moment in silence, Roger is the one who breaks it this time.

“Have you thought about names yet?” It’s been a while since they knew they were having another girl, but they didn’t discuss names yet. He knows they still have time, but it’s good to not be caught by surprise because one day you think you have time and the other you are already in full term and the baby is borning without a name.

“I don’t know, it’s difficult, isn’t it? How did we decide on Anna for her?”

“It was a mutual decision and she was already here… I think we can say some names, the ones we like and then decide after this one is born? What do you think?”

“Hm, that’s good, I like some Italian-ish name, like Laura or Gloria?”

Roger laughs, remembering what he said after they decided Anna’s name, that it was perfect that her name was italian.

“Yeah, I like Linda too,”

“It means beautiful, I like it too…”

“I remember you telling me that you never thought about boys' names...”

“Yes, every time I imagined a family I only saw girls, I think maybe it is because I was an only child and only had male cousins…”

“That’s so cute,”

They spend the day talking about names and how they would name their kids if they could give any name in the world and not a serious one that will impact their children’s life.

It was, in the end, the best anniversary they ever had, without fancy dinners, although their first date, long six years ago, was one.


End file.
